


Finding Home

by celtious



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Sentimental, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 10:31:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 67,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18259472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celtious/pseuds/celtious
Summary: The Son of Frigga is not dead. Her gift to him ensures Thanos fails to strangle the life out of him completely, taking him to Midgard in the near future where the titan no longer exists, and his enemies will not easily find him. Loki changes his form to hide as he recovers, reluctantly staying with you. His existance cannot be hidden forever, though. What will become of him, and the bond you share, when Thor discovers he yet lives?FemLoki/ReaderLoki/ReaderGender Swap





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> An idea I've been kicking around for a while. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Posted from my phone, please forgive any formatting errors.

 

“You should choose your words more carefully,” the titan declared, tightening his grip on the man’s tiny neck. 

 

Loki’s eyes reddened as he kicked and gasped. His life was fading, his heart in his ears, his body turning cold. One final taunt, one final act of defiance fell from the bloodied lips of the God of Mischief. 

 

“You…will never…be…a god.” 

 

The world blurred and faded into a distant inclination. Thor’s stifled cry of despair echoed, his body crumpled on unforgiving metal. The titan and his companions departed in a flash of amethyst. Now free, the God of Thunder crawled to his brother’s side. Loki felt him grasp the front of his armor, silently pleading for something he could not give. The inclination slipped from his grasp, and the prince of two worlds passed into death. 

 

The ruined ship sparked and groaned, and the magic within the younger son of Frigga surged, spending itself one last time. 

 

\----------- 

 

It was warm; still; something firm but soft cradling his aching form. There was birdsong, the smell of a wood he didn’t recognize, and the taste of blood still on his tongue. His veins burned and his muscles screamed at him as he forced his eyes open. Sunlight glowed against the thick canopy above him, and slowly the world came into greater focus. He was sprawled on a bed of leaves and twigs, the earth cool and damp as he pushed himself up to rest against a nearby tree. He was deep in the heart of this forest, where ever it may be, and he seemed to be alone. 

 

 _‘This cannot be Hel, but neither do I think is it Valhalla. Nor does this feel like any forest on_ _Asgard_ _I have seen. Where am I?’_  

 

He did not know how long he sat there, gathering his strength and pondering the sounds of invisible creatures around him. The sun seemed to be setting, though, so he forced himself to his feet and moved carefully toward where the forest seemed brighter. _‘Where it thins out, that will be the entrance. With any luck, there will be shelter beyond.’_  His mind was still heavy with delirium, his breathing labored, and he thought his bones would shatter as he fell to his knees with exhaustion after a few meters. 

 

A scream ripped through the peace and he flinched. No, not a scream, another bird call; cawing. He blinked around to find the source, watching as an enormous black bird came to perch on a root nearby. It seemed to glower at him with its beady eye, iridescent feathers shimmering as it shifted this way and that. 

 

 _‘A raven?_ _Perhaps…perhaps one of Odin’s, still alive even after his death; am I back on Midgard?_ _’_  A spark of hope fizzled in his chest. 

 

Its gaze felt knowing, and it seemed to be considering the fallen god as a parent or mentor would. He reached toward the corvid with a shaking hand, his lips moving of their own accord. “Father…?” His voice croaked. 

 

The bird cawed sharply at him and he jerked his hand back. It spread its enormous wings and fluttered off, perching in a tree some distance away. It cawed at him again, watching, waiting. He fought to his feet, stumbling in its direction. Once he was near, the raven fluttered away once more to a distant perch to wait. He continued to follow it, noticing how the trees and underbrush gradually thinned out, and soon he was able to see beyond the edge. 

 

Free from the forest, he fell to his knees beside a stream where the raven now sat, exhausted. He laid his hands in the water, collecting enough to spread across his clammy skin. The cold refreshed him and his head began to clear. Slowly, he washed his face clean and sipped enough to wet his throat. Feeling at least marginally functional, he sat back on his feet and gave a hesitant nod to the corvid. 

 

“Thank you…” His voice was still weak, but clear now. He ran a hand through his wild hair, pushing it back out of his eyes. “Tell me, which are you: Muninn or Huginn? I could never tell the two of you apart.” He had the energy for a simple joke, at least; it was a good sign. 

 

The raven cocked its head. It didn’t seem to understand him. He tried another question, another tongue, but received no response. He suddenly felt very foolish.  _‘This thing cannot be one of Odin’s, it is far too dull. I followed a mindless beast and chanced out of that place…_ ’ Something about the realization cut him deeply, and he chuckled sardonically, scolding himself. He rose to his feet, unsteady, and the corvid fluttered off into the dimming sky. _‘I won’t find anything of use here, it seems,’_ he thought as he examined the grassy field across the way, and beyond it, he spotted a hill,  _‘but perhaps there, a cave or crevice; just for the night.’_  

 

He wrapped his ruined cape around his shoulders, massaging the soreness from his arms and hands as he made his way through the grass. He forced himself to focus and began forming a plan for survival in this unknown place. All else could come after. 

 

The chilled wind picked up as the sun sank into the horizon, further tangling his dark hair. He would need to bathe tomorrow; he couldn’t stand the filmy sensation of grime and blood on his skin much longer than that. His stomach reminded him he would need to find food, as well. His considerations were interrupted by another animal call, this time that of a hound. Behind it, the repeated commands from a man for the beast to “heel”. It was approaching far quicker than he knew he could hide or retreat. 

 

 _‘Wherever I am, I cannot be seen like this; I cannot be known.’_  

 

He summoned up the last fizzle of power he possessed and urged his shape to shift. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, posted from my phone. Please excuse any formatting errors.

****(Your POV)** **

You hurried after your cousin and his wayward dog, flashlight at the ready, but off for the moment. You knew bringing the shepherd out here was a bad idea, but Timothy had insisted. You dove into the tall grasses following the trail the pair left in their wake and finally caught up. Tim had his dog by the collar but was focused more on the person in front of them the beast kept barking at.

 

“I’m so sorry about Angel, she’s still a bit of a wild pup.” Tim’s panted laughter stopped abruptly when he examined the person more closely. “Oh my god… Are you alright?”

 

The person, a woman you now saw, flicked her eyes quickly between the three of you, terrified. Judging by her state, you couldn’t blame her. Her long, dark hair was all but a rat’s nest, her black slacks and green shirt tattered and as bloodied as she was. She had her arms wrapped tightly around her middle, perhaps defensive, perhaps cold, and she was barefoot. You pulled off your hoodie without a second thought, easing your way closer as Tim dragged Angel away.

 

“Whatever happened, it’s okay. You’re okay now, you’re safe,” you attempted to soothe her. The woman’s eyes fixed sharply on you, bloodshot and the deepest green you had ever seen. You held out your hoodie to show you had no tricks up your sleeves, slowly laying it across her shoulders.

 

“It’s okay,” you said once more, and she let you tuck it around her. “What’s your name?”

 

She blinked, as though trying to remember. “Lani…”

 

Her voice was soft and rough, and you noticed bruises around her neck as though she had been choked. Protective anger ignited in your chest, but you kept it inside, not wanting to upset her further. “It’s nice to meet you, Lani, I’m (y/n), and that’s Tim, my cousin.” It was a strange situation to meet someone in, but you weren’t one to forget your manners. “If you need somewhere safe to go, our cabin isn’t too far. You can get cleaned up and call whomever you need.”

 

You did your best to sound reassuring and inviting, and it seemed to work. You clicked the flashlight on to the light the way and Lani followed as you made your way back. You didn't try to pry any more information from her just yet. Whatever she had been through, you were certain she was still in shock. Your questions could wait.

 

When the cabin came into sight, Lani hesitated. You figured she was spooked by the sounds of your nieces outside at the fire pit and smiled gently at her. “It’s just my aunt and nieces. I won’t let them bother you, I promise.”

 

Lani seemed reassured and followed you inside. You took her to the room you and your nieces shared, showing her where she could shower and laying out some of your looser-fitting clothes to change into.

 

”I’ll be in the living room, just outside. I promise I’m not leaving you alone. Call if you need anything.”

 

With that, you closed the bedroom door and settled into a nearby chair to wait.

 

 _ _‘She’s nearly as tall as I am, and I’m tall for a woman…’__  Part of you was impressed, another part pleased to have another woman of equal stature around, even if only for a short time. As you suspected would happen, one of your nieces came bounding inside, angled for the bedroom. You quickly shooed her away, insisting she wait for whatever trivial thing she sought.

 

“But I need-” she began to argue.

 

“To wait for our guest to finish cleaning up. Remember what I told you about how a man should never treat a woman?”

 

She nodded, then her eyes went wide as she realized what you meant. She glanced at the bedroom door with worry and anger on her face before turning on heel and marching back outside.  

 

You listened as the shower ran, and when the water stopped, you prepared the first aid kit on the dining table. Lani emerged soon after, hair toweled dry and roughly combed, your hoodie again around her shoulders over the clothes you gave her.

 

“Looks like they fit okay,” you noted, motioning to a chair next to yours, “are they comfortable?”

 

“Yes, thank you.” Her green eyes flicked around the cabin as she took her seat, pausing on the kit in your hands. “I have no need for bandages.”

 

You paused but finished laying out antiseptic and band-aids. "That was a good amount of blood on you," you argued reasonably, "and that cut above your eye has started oozing again. Better safe than to risk infection, especially out here, yeah?"

 

Her lips drew into a thin line. “If you insist.”

 

Lani closed her eyes as you carefully worked, her squared shoulders slowly relaxing. Without a word, she pulled at the pants and sleeves, offering other gashes and cuts which you bandaged with equal care, keeping your reactions to them inside. __‘She__ _ _must have come from a high-class family, with the way she moves and speaks. Regardless, whoever did this had better fucking hope I never find them…’__

 

“So…” You began, carefully. “How did all this happen? These wounds, your being in the forest?”

 

She sighed softly. “I cannot remember clearly.”

 

“What about whoever did this? Your family, anything?”

 

“I do not know what befell him, and my family is…” she trailed off and shook her head. “They are gone. Whomever still lives or where they may be; I would not know where to begin.”

 

You bit your lip and nodded, feeling even more protective of her. “Any friends, perhaps? Anyone at all that could help you?”

 

She shook her head slightly, as though not wanting to admit to her own answer. Poised and proper, you couldn’t miss just how beautiful she was, even in her despair. You felt ashamed of yourself for thinking such a thing at a time like this, and gave more attention than was needed to packing away the first aid kit.

 

"You're free to stay here if you like.” You said as you gathered the medical leavings. “Have a meal, get some rest, and you can decide what to do in the morning."

 

“I would appreciate that, thank you,” was all she said.

  

****(Loki’s POV)** **

Loki had assumed a variety of forms in the past and so quickly grew accustomed to this one. The shift had been rushed and unfocused, but the result was not entirely disagreeable. He did not care for its lack of stature, however. The new name he took from a conversation with Frigga many decades prior, where she mentioned what she would have called her daughter if she’d had one. All current things considered, Loki felt it appropriate. ‘ _ _And Frigga did not name Hela in this manner because the name did not yet exist.’__

 

He-no, she; she was glad to be clean sooner than planned, and waited patiently as (y/n) tended the cut above her eye. Realizing her body was not healing as quickly as usual, she allowed (y/n) to bandage the rest. She knew now that this was Midgard, and decided she would play the part of the lone and frightened female until she devised a plan to care for herself. __‘I do not think I will be able to change form again for some time, even if I desired. I will have to make the most of this and learn what I can.’__

 

The offer of room and board was truly appreciated. She could not bear the thought of being alone at the moment, and so joined (y/n) and her family outside for dinner when it was called. She noted the aunt was missing, and the way (y/n) remained nearby and kept an eye on her, ensuring she did not have to interact with the others more than necessary. This, Loki appreciated. The night drew on, and there was merriment around the bonfire. Loki could easily tell it was all but forced, as though they were attempting to ignore something painful if only for the night. Food was had, wine that may as well have been fruit juice for all Loki could tell was passed around, and strange Midgardian games were played. She was not required to participate, thank the Nine. The evening chill soon set in, chasing all but Loki, (y/n), and one of the younger girls to their warm beds.

 

The young girl yawned, and (y/n) urged her inside for sleep as well.

 

“What about you two? You’re still up.” the girl argued accusingly.

 

“I’m taking care of the fire so the forest doesn’t burn down, munchkin,” (y/n) replied with a touch of sarcasm, “and Lani can do what she likes. Now go on, get.” She waved her hand as though shooing a fly and the young girl left, bidding them both ‘good night’.

 

Finally, there was blessed quiet. Loki stared into the embers of the pit as (y/n) poked around at them, sending sparks up to dance and die. It reminded her of her seidr. She reached out with her senses, trying to find anything familiar, but there was nothing. No magic, no power, and no hint of anything she knew; just Midgard and its mortals. Usually, such a sensation would make Loki uncomfortable or leave her with a feeling of isolation, but right now she found it reassuring. It meant Thanos was not here either. She shuddered involuntarily, fingers touching where his enormous hand had crushed her throat. It was far from her first brush with death, but it was the first wherein she truly thought she would indeed die. __‘How__ _ _am I alive at all...?’__  

 

“Lani…?” (y/n) ventured quietly, concerned.

 

Loki gave her a soft smile, hoping to satisfy her curiosity so she would not question her further. (y/n) nodded, seeming unconvinced, but did not press. Eventually, fatigue pulled irresistibly at Loki’s eyes. (y/n) finished drowning the pit and accompanied her inside.

 

“You can sleep in my bed. It’s more comfortable than anything else we have available right now.”

 

Loki cringed at the thought of being so far from an easy exit, and adopted a meek, polite countenance. “Please, I could not displace you. I will be glad for whatever alternative accommodations are available.”

 

“Nonsense, I insist. I’ve slept on worse, it is no bother.”

 

‘ _ _As have I, but…’__  Loki relented, feeling she had lost the battle of propriety. (Y/n) showed her which bed was hers and quickly changed the pillowcase before bidding Loki ‘good night’ and closing the bedroom door. With a sigh, Loki slipped onto the lumpy mattress and sat up for a while yet, attempting to reconcile the recent events of her life. The face of Thanos, Thor’s despair, her dealings with the Avengers and the loss of the Realm Eternal. What had become of the titan and his schemes? Did Heimdall live, and could he conjure Loki home once she recovered her magic and strength? Where was Thor now, and were their people safe?

 

Loki paused. __Their__  people? No, she was right; their. The people of Asgard were as much her subjects as Thor’s, even now.

 

Exhaustion muddled her thoughts, and she finally relented. She slid fully beneath the moth-eaten blankets and allowed her eyes to close, desperately trying to recall the warm smile of her mother which always eased her enough to rest.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another phone post.

Loki woke to the playful cries of girls outside. From the sounds of it, they were riling the hound, Angel, into a frenzy, for she was barking with abandon. She sat up slowly, painfully, and laid a hand across her eyes. The inability to find a comfortable position meant her sleep was not restful and her body ached, thus she was already irritated with the world in general. Her stomach was at odds with her intention to remain hidden in the room a while longer, however. Reluctantly, Loki climbed to her feet, pulled the garment (y/n) lent her the night before around her shoulders, and followed the smell of cooking meat and toasting bread into the living area of the cabin.

 

The man called Tim was weaving through the kitchen space with (y/n), each focused on their tasks. Loki watched them dance, yawning as she continued to wake herself. Plates on the counter quickly filled with piles of eggs, meats, and toast, sliced fruit was tossed into a bowl, and a kettle on the stove began screaming for attention. It seemed to be the sound the rest of the family was waiting on, for they all filed inside and took their places at the large, wood table.

 

“Nope, it’s okay!” Tim heckled playfully. “No one ask if they can help, I’m just a one-man army over here!”

 

The girls at the table apologized in chorus and leaped to assist in setting the table. (y/n) did not bother correcting Tim’s statement, and laughed to herself as she prepared the coffee and tea. Finally, someone took notice of their lurking guest and waved Loki over to an empty seat. She claimed a chair at the end of the table, desiring her own space as far from the boisterous young ones as possible.

 

(Y/n) and Tim finally sat down to join the rest. Food was portioned, drinks were poured, and Loki watched what could only be described as a production from over the rim of her cup of tea. While (y/n) sat at the other end of the table as the quiet arbitrator, the rest of the family, minus the aunt, chatted excitedly, needled and heckled, and argued playfully. A soft pain formed in Loki's chest, and she recognized it as nostalgia. For a breath, she missed her brother and hardly noticed the slight curl of her lip.  

 

****(Your POV)** **

Lani was smiling as she watched your nieces and cousin in their usual routine. You felt a pinch of embarrassment at their behavior in front of a guest, but you’d grown more lenient of such things in recent years. Since what had come to be known as “The Snap”, the societal constructs seemed less important than making due and remaining close.

 

“Girls, you’re on dish duty,” you declared once everyone was fed. Unlike in previous years, they did not argue. With the table quiet, you caught Lani’s gaze. “How do you feel this morning, Lani? Any better?”

 

The woman blinked from what seemed to be a daze and offered a polite smile. “Indeed, I am well rested.”

 

You nodded, pleased to hear it, but Lani’s tone was not one open to further conversation. Once breakfast was cleared away and the family had scampered off to other activities, however, you welcomed her to sit closer. You fetched the first aid kit again, insisting on checking her wounds, and decided to press her a bit.

 

“Have you given any thought to what you would like to do?” you asked as she settled into her new seat and submitted to your treatment.

 

“I have,” Lani smiled for a moment, hesitant, “however, I fear I may appear overbearing.”

 

You chuckled. “We won’t know until you share your thoughts.”

 

She nodded. “In that case… I overheard your nieces talking about returning to the city. How long do you plan to remain here?”

 

“Another day or two. Usually, we don’t stay for more than a week. We’ve been here about that long already.”

 

“I see. When you do leave, would it be a burden were I to accompany you?”

 

“I had expected as much, actually. Back in the city, you should have a better chance of making your way home, where ever that is.” You again gathered the medical leavings. “I thought those cuts were deeper, but they’ve already scabbed over rather well. You must be a fast healer.”

 

A sadness touched Lani’s delicate features despite her pleasant expression, and you suddenly felt awkward, if not a bit guilty for reminding her of something painful. You attempted to swallow it down with your coffee.

 

“Here, let’s find you something other than pajamas to wear…”

 

 

****(Loki’s POV)** **

__'You must bear this. It is only a few days more,__ ' Loki told herself each time her irritation flared. While (y/n) left her to her own thoughts, the young girls were not so magnanimous. They questioned her about the bruises around her neck, and pressed her for details of her home and family, romantic interests, and mode of employment. She danced around the questions with ease, turning the girls on each other instead. Once, she spotted a bedraggled woman with stringy blonde hair emerge from a side room, claim something from a cupboard, then return to the room without a word. Her face had been tear-stained, her eyes red, and Loki suspected this was the aunt (y/n) mentioned.

 

Gradually, Loki gathered major details of the state of the world from snippets of conversation.

 

Six years had passed. Thanos was dead, the Avengers were active but their roster had changed, and Thor had not been seen or heard from in half a decade. (y/n) suspected it was due to chaos in the other “worlds” coupled with the pain of the death of his brother, Loki, but took his absence as a better sign than his presence. "If someone like that feels the need to show their face, it probably means trouble is on its way to Earth again, and I don't think we could survive the attention of another god or something like Thanos now," she'd said with a bitter laugh. Loki mimicked her and felt the rapport between them strengthen, exactly as she hoped.

 

By the time the family was packed into their vehicles to depart, she was confident (y/n) thought of her as a friend.

 

(Y/n) and her family bade each other tearful farewells and began the long separate drives home. (y/n) had only Loki for company, as she lived apart from her family even now. To her pleasure, Loki found (y/n) was conversational, but not talkative, and the frequent silences held no awkwardness. They stopped only twice to stretch and acquire “food”, and Loki took the opportunity to catch up on the rest she had lost at the cabin.

 

****(Your POV)** **

Lani resembled something from a fairy tale as she slept in your passenger seat. You did your best to ensure the drive was smooth so as not to wake her. It was nearly midnight by the time she woke fully from her cat naps, and you pulled into a gas station with a yawn. Fueled, stretched, and with coffee in hand, you returned to the road for the final leg.

 

"We should return to (y/city) by 4," you mentioned as you sipped your liquid attention, "most places don't open until around 10, so you can stay at my place until then if you'd like."

 

Lani blew on her own cup of coffee to cool it. "I will consider your offer, thank you. Might there be a light I could use for reading?"

 

"There should be a book light in the door." It was then that you noticed Lani had swiped one of the free local papers. "Let me know if you read anything interesting," you chuckled. Lani hummed that she would and settled in with the palm-sized battery light. It wasn't long until she spoke again.

 

"What is this 'Snap Day'?"

 

You nearly breathed your coffee and managed to not spurt it all over your dashboard. Lani blinked at you as you cleared your windpipe, eyes watering. "You don't...? I mean, everyone..." You stammered in disbelief, but the look in those green eyes stole your ability to be condescending. "It's... it's the anniversary of the battle with Thanos when everyone disappeared. Do they not have that in your city?"

 

Lani fixed her eyes on the expanse of blackness beyond your headlights, her voice small. "It is not a public event. We each mourn for our own."

 

"I see." It was different from what was done in your town, but you understood everyone handled their losses in their own way. Who were you to judge? The first uncomfortable silence fell. Lani returned to her paper, sipping the coffee. You almost laughed at her grimace.  

 

"Not the best there is, I know," you said apologetically. Lani gave a thin-lipped smile as if to say it wasn't your fault.

 

"I see there is a memorial specifically for the Avengers."

 

You nodded. "I think that's pretty common in places that have public events for Snap Day."

 

"They've included an obituary list as well -" Lani's voice cut off.

 

****(Loki's POV)** **

Loki was distantly aware of (y/n) saying her name, but her eyes were fixed on the list of Avenger's and their allies lost those years ago. Toward the top, just above "Peter Parker, The Spider-Man" and below "Bucky Barnes, The Winter Soldier" read "Loki Odinson of Asgard, Brother of Thor". She read it time and again, but could scarcely believe her own eyes.

 

"Lani? What is it?" (Y/n) asked with increasing concern.

 

"Why?"

 

"'Why' what?"

 

"Why did they include Loki of Asgard on the Avenger's list?"

 

"Probably because he was Thor's brother?" she offered. "Maybe it was just easier, who knows."

 

Loki was torn between gloating and an inability to understand, and settled for furrowing her brow. "But why include him at all? Did he not come to Earth not long prior? Is the memory of New York so faded?"

 

Loki felt the atmosphere shift, and (y/n) went quiet for a long moment. When she spoke, she did so carefully.

 

"I know most people still hate Loki for New York and the rest, but some do feel it is only right to recognize his sacrifice in the fight against Thanos along with all the rest. Thor and the others felt the same, I think, and that’s probably why they told the public anything at all."

 

Loki licked her lips, venturing carefully. “...And you?"

 

"Me?"

 

Loki's voice was the bitter edge of a knife. "What is your opinion, (y/n)? Do you think this monster should be included in the memorial of heroes?"  

 

(Y/n)'s fingers slowly gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles went white, her eyes growing hard and distant. It was clear this was not a new point of conversation for her. Finally, she spoke, voice low and thick with conviction.

 

"Loki was a bastard for what he did, I will concede to that, but everyone should have a chance to redeem themselves. He did not get that chance; or rather, the Thanos fight was his opportunity. For whatever reason, Loki chose to risk, and relinquish, his own life for a chance that the universe might be saved. You don't have to like him to recognize that much, at least. ” She flicked her eyes over at Loki for a moment, unwavering. “...So, yes, his name well belongs on that list." She smiled gently, speaking kindly. “Perhaps, let’s not talk about that, yeah?”

 

Loki was quiet as she registered (y/n)'s words, unsure of her own feelings on the matter. ' _ _Mortals are so strange,__ _ _'__  was her only thought for the rest of the drive.  

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

****(Loki’s POV)** **

Loki and (y/n) arrived at her modest home around the time she estimated. Inside, Loki noted her small personal library, and (y/n) let her choose a book and settle on her back porch to read while she unpacked her car. She joined Loki when she was finished with a piece of Midgardian technology she called a “laptop”, and they watched the sun come up together. A couple of hours later, Loki rose to stretch, and (y/n) took the chance to show her the notes she had been taking.

 

“These should give you a good start,” (y/n) told her as Loki examined the list of numbers and names, resource information for the wayward woman. “Women’s houses, transportation, COMF, it’s all there.”

 

“COMF?”

 

“Coalition for Missing Families” Loki gave her a droll look and (y/n) raised her hands helplessly. “I don’t make these things, don’t look at me. Still, they’re probably your best bet in finding your family or anyone else you need to get in contact with. I can drive you around today if you need, but I have to go back to work tomorrow…”

 

Loki understood the unspoken “so you’ll be on your own” (y/n) was too polite to say. “I am certain today is all I will need.”

 

A couple of hours more and they were both showered, dressed, and out the door. Other people were about as well, though not as numerous as Loki expected. The population had not yet recovered from The Snap well enough to fill what was empty; as such, the city felt deflated, like a child wearing a parent's coat. __‘I__ _ _was under the impression mortals reproduced faster than this,’__  she thought with bemusement as she watched the boarded windows and sun-bleached “closed” signs slide past.

 

Loki followed (y/n)’s lead as she took them around the city, and by the fourth stop at an office, Loki was fed up with the whole charade. __‘Bear it a little longer, God of Mischief, you’ve suffered worse,’__  she told herself repeatedly over lunch. As was becoming habit, (y/n) spared her a reassuring smile when she sensed what she perceived was Loki’s anxiety. The god-turned-mortal returned the expression.  _ _‘At least the company is tolerable, and easily fooled.’__

  

****(Your POV)** **

Lani was hiding something, you were sure. It was not anything, in particular, she said or did, just a gut feeling you had at the cabin that was now more tangible. On one hand you wanted to permit her the obscurity she clearly wanted, but on the other hand, it wasn't getting either of you any closer to finding somewhere for her to stay in the long-term. By the time the two of you returned to your house, you were already wrestling with the idea that you might have tripped yourself into a roommate. The thought made you grimace. You had nothing against Lani personally, per se, but you had your home and life ordered and scheduled exactly as needed, and you despised anything that disrupted that. Besides, she was clearly from the upper-class; how could your quality of life match up?

 

You were too tired to languish. After dinner, Lani settled in again with her chosen book and you prepared your infrequently-used guest room that doubled as a home office. The bed was simple but would suffice for now, and Lani appeared grateful for whatever you had to offer.

 

“I’ll be gone until mid-afternoon tomorrow. I’ll leave the spare key on the kitchen counter. If you need to leave, all I ask is that you lock the door behind you. I’ve set a few outfits and shoes in the closet as well.” Lani nodded to you in that almost dismissive way that was her own, and you gave her a half-smile. “I do hope you’re able to find something tomorrow.” The look in those green eyes told you she understood your meaning. There was nothing else to say. You set your alarm, buried under your covers, and tried to sleep.

 

Your phone screeched at you far too soon. You checked the time through bleary eyes and found it was, unfortunately, time to get up. Muscle memory and habit swept you through your morning routine with relative ease. You listened at the guest room door for a moment before leaving and found Lani was still asleep. __‘Good__ _ _, I didn’t wake her.__ _ _’__  A short drive across town to your office later and you were fisting your hands in your hair with frustration as you listened to the morning teleconference.

 

Yours was a technology contracting company that had merged with Stark Industries just after The Snap to stay afloat. As was usual, the parent company treated you and your team like they were second-rate add-ons until they converted to Stark. You had been on-boarded not that long ago, and now you had to listen to their program manager condescend to your former co-workers who were still with your original company. You already tried speaking up about it but were quickly put in place. If you wanted to keep your job, you would keep your head down. You tried to explain it to your former team, worked to pull them up to equal footing and recognition, but you knew they still resented you, and others like you, for your silence. __‘Such is the life of contract work, government or no.’__

 

A new project was rolling out to continue repairs to the communications infrastructure in one of the major office buildings downtown, and your blended Stark-Contractor team was assigned. This meant you would be on-call for the foreseeable future. The end of the day couldn't come soon enough, and you were out of the office before your boss even realized you had logged off the company messenger application. As you idled at a light, you took a moment to glower at the work computer in your passenger seat. The job was more than worth it, after all, it allowed you to maintain the house you lived in and send money to your family, but sometimes you really hated it.

 

Home, you kicked off your shoes, plopped the laptop bag on the kitchen table, and glanced over the menus you had stuck to the refrigerator. You didn’t feel like cooking tonight. __‘I should probably ask Lani what she wants before I decide, though.’__  A quick tour of your home revealed she was not there, and you felt a twinge of disappointment, but it didn’t last for long. She returned soon after you sat down with the sandwich shop menu to decide what you wanted. She looked worn; a manila folder tucked under her arm. You spared her a friendly expression.

 

“Welcome back. Any luck?”

 

“Unfortunately, no,” she sighed, removing her shoes at the doorway per your request. “I do not think progress will come as soon as you would like.”

 

You hummed. “Let’s figure out dinner first.”

 

Food was ordered, and you glanced through the paperwork Lani brought home as you waited for it to arrive. There were no leads on any of her family or friends, no employment openings for her skill set, though there were a few places she could go while she trained for something new, and she had circled a couple workshops of interest. It wasn’t much, but it was a plan. __‘Maybe__ _ _another week, perhaps two. I can handle having a guest for that long.’__

 

****(Loki’s POV)** **

Loki spent most of the morning walking the city streets, seeing what there was to see and listening in on conversations. She kept the disgust from her face somehow. __‘The slums of Asgard were cleaner and of a higher-class than this place…’__ she thought haughtily, and she took it as another good sign of her recovery. She ran her fingers together, feeling for an indication that any of her power had returned and found none. __‘I assume it spent itself to preserve and deliver me here. I have only been awake for a few days; surely it will return soon.__ _ _’__  She had to believe this. The thought of remaining as little better than a mortal in this place for the rest of her long years turned her stomach.

 

Eventually, she visited the offices (y/n) had taken her to the day before in a lackluster attempt to find something of use. As far as Loki was concerned, however, she would not stay in this city long enough for any of these efforts to matter. The day after and the next, she did the same. She knew she was trying (y/n)’s patience by delaying, but it seemed her mind was still dulled from her recent ordeal, for she could not plan as she once did.  

 

It took skimming idly through brochures at the library to spark a glorious idea: Norway. It made too much sense now that she thought about it, and she scolded herself for not having considered it sooner. _ _‘Odin called it “home” that day, there must have been a reason. Perhaps there I can find a way to restore my power, a way to get off this forsaken rock.’__

 

It was so simple. Loki frowned, suddenly apprehensive. Perhaps...a bit too simple…

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Loki researched all she could without alerting (y/n). Unlike most mortals, there was a knowing in her eyes that was beginning to make Loki feel exposed, and there were moments where she could swear (y/n) was looking to her very soul. It put the Jotun on edge in a way she hadn’t experienced with a human. _‘The_ _sooner I find a way home, the better. I’ve no desire to be scrutinized by a mortal woman.’_ Loki thought stubbornly, _‘And_ _yet.’_   

 

(Y/n)’s attentions were less disconcerting than the persistent memory of the titan’s hand crushing her throat. Loki felt it each time the deep bruises twinged like a ghostly memory from what had been just over a week prior. Stranded on Midgard, (Y/n) was a known factor to Loki at least, and something known was comforting right now. __‘As for Norway...__ _ _’__  

 

If Loki learned anything in her many years, it was that if something appeared unexpectedly easy then chances were it would be anything but. To her chagrin, the adage held true. What she discovered she would need was beyond her understanding of the mortal world. Without her magic, she was dependent upon and constrained by its workings. She would need (y/n)’s guidance until she learned enough to act on her own. With this concession, Loki carefully planned how she would approach the topic with (y/n) over dinner that evening. All went exactly as planned.

 

“You will need a job before anything else, Lani…” (y/n) pointed out, attempting to temper Loki’s expectations.

 

“I am well aware the trip will require a significant amount of funds, and I do plan on finding employment.” Loki ran a hand along her arm, feigning anxiety. ”Unfortunately, the fact is that…”

 

(Y/n) made the presumption Loki hoped. “…You’ve…never actually had to work before, have you?”

 

Loki pursed her lips as though attempting to preserve her dignity in the face of failure.

 

(Y/n) laughed. “That… That explains so much!” She shook her head. “Your family has to be Stark-levels of rich, for you to be so sheltered.” She laughed again even as Loki grimaced. Then, her voice went sober as she came to a realization. “…But that’s just it, isn’t it? You’re hiding from them.”

 

Loki straightened her shoulders, still refusing to answer.

 

“That’s why you want to go to Norway,” she ventured. “Not because your family is there, but because they are not; you’re running away.”

 

Loki snapped a glower at (y/n) and hissed. “I am __not__  running away!”

 

(Y/n) narrowed those discerning eyes at her in turn. “Then what is it?”

 

Loki bit her lip, realizing her shallow game had turned on her, but she had not lost just yet. “It is…that I cannot face them. Not right now; not yet.”

 

(Y/n) leaned back in her chair and sighed. “Whatever happened, whatever you did; they’re still your family. They deserve to know you are alive at the very least.”

 

“If they knew, they would stop at nothing to track me down.”

 

Loki watched contemplation settle across (y/n)’s features. She was silent long enough that the green-eyed woman returned to her dinner. Finally, she spoke again, her voice low and heavy with an authority Loki had not heard from her before.

 

“Lani, who are you really? “

 

Loki swallowed the bit of vegetable but did not look at (y/n). "For your sake, I cannot and will not say. Please, trust me."

 

The woman across the table canted her head at Loki, still considering. Another long silence passed before she straightened and picked up her fork again.

 

“So… Norway, huh?”

 

Loki offered her a relieved smile. __‘Perfect__ _ _.’__

 

****(Your POV)** **

You knew it; you'd known it since the cabin: Lani was hiding something. From the sounds of it, it wasn't something as simple as a family squabble or a misdemeanor charge. Your mind rolled through the possibilities ranging from extortion to felonies to drugs to murder. If any of those were the case, could you bear to have her in your home? Was now the prudent time to ask her to leave? You were half-way to considering her your roommate as was, but that conversation left you indecisive.  

 

After dinner, the two of you settled in the living room. Lani on the couch with a book and legs folded neatly, and you caddy corner on a chair with your laptop. You stared at the screen, scrolling through an article without taking in the words. You glanced at her now and again. __‘She__ _ _even looks like some kind of royalty. Surely there is someone in her circle of influence she can turn to; she doesn’t have to stay here,’__ you thought.

 

You scrolled back to the top of the article to try and read it again. Formless thoughts kept your attention, however, and your gaze followed as Lani tucked a bookmark into the pages, bade you ‘good night’, and disappeared into your guest room. She seemed so delicate and vulnerable. What weight did those pale shoulders carry? Was it her own doing or the fault of others?

 

You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. You couldn't force her out of your home, not now. How could you pluck her from the maw of the wilds, comfort, and care for her, then turn around and drop her on the roadside? __‘Damnit.’__ You closed your laptop and slipped into a bath, hoping it would ease your mind. __‘Stupid conscience, making me do stupid things that are just going to leave me strung out and hurt again.’__

 

You snagged your phone from the stool you kept beside the tub and opened a new browser tab. It was just morbid curiosity. __‘Let’s see here… “Lani name etymology”. What does your name mean, Lani; where are you from? … Hawaiian, meaning “sky” or “royalty”; but she doesn’t look Hawaiian. What else, what else…’__  But there was nothing; just the reference to Hawaii. You chuckled. __‘Probably another diversion from her true identity. Still, it kind of fits.’__

 

\---

 

The agreement was simple. You would assist Lani in finding a job that didn't require much if any, paperwork to pay her. New identities were beyond expensive, and this way her family could not track her. In return, she would see to the mundane chores you often had to put off until the weekend due to fatigue. Lani scrunched her face in response at first, but you made it clear that if she was going to stay, she would contribute.  

 

"Once you're working, you can choose to continue the chores or pay rent. It'll be your call, but every dollar you give me is a dollar that doesn't go toward your travel funds."

 

Lani pursed her lips in that entitled way again and curtly agreed. You couldn’t help but find it cute and withheld a chuckle. It was official now: you had a roommate again.  

 

The first thing you did was take Lani shopping for her own wardrobe. While you were close enough in stature, her body shape was just different enough that your clothes didn’t fit her quite right. You were quickly reminded of her upper-class taste when she angled for one of the stores with active guards. You gagged on the overwhelming mix of exotic perfumes and colognes as you followed her. Only your sense of etiquette kept you from covering your nose. Amusingly, Lani seemed to have the same response to the smell, and you watched the corners of her lips curl downward as she quickly strode through the invisible cloud. Either due to the smell or the clothes, you two didn’t stay long.

 

The next few stores were the same, and soon you had to move to a different shopping strip. Lani seemed bored, almost bewildered by the fashions offered, and you could only laugh.

 

She smirked at you from the passenger seat. “And what, pray tell, do you find so amusing, (y/n)?”

 

“Watching you shop makes me realize what my mother had to go through with me, that’s all.”

 

Finally, you found a store that had something agreeable. Lani was still dissatisfied but decided this was the best she would find. You loaded the haul into your backseat and headed home, drained. You helped her clip tags and hang her new wardrobe, finally registering what she had chosen. You gave her a bemused look.  

 

“You do realize there are other colors?” __‘Oh my god, I sound like mom…’__

 

Lani straightened, seeming almost insulted. “What’s wrong with green and black?”

 

“Won’t you grow tired of wearing the same colors every single day?”

 

Lani poked through her closet and pulled the sleeve of a pale gold blazer for you to see, as though it disproved your point.

 

“Oh, yes! Of course, how could I miss that?” You laughed, sarcastic. “Three whole colors, much more acceptable.”

 

Lani’s expression was unreadable for a moment, and you panicked, thinking you had offended her; but then her lips curled and those green eyes glinted mischievously. “Shall I judge your wardrobe next? I wonder, exactly how many shades of black and blue can one own?”

 

You blinked, not used to having your jokes thrown back at you. Things were tense for a breath. Then, as if on cue, you both began to laugh.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've had a story flow as well as this one since I first started my other work XD. Let me know how I'm doing or if there's a direction you think it should go! I have a rough idea, but there's room for other stuff, too. 
> 
> Thanks for dropping by!

****(Loki’s POV)** **

Things had to change if Loki was going to live here for an extended period. (Y/n)'s habit of keeping food chilled for days on end was only the first. The smell and texture of the re-heated foodstuffs made her nauseous if one could call what sat in the clear container "food".

 

“It’s that or you can cook.” (Y/n) shrugged, mixing spices into her own portion.

 

Loki decided it would be the latter and rose to examine what was kept in the cold box and dry pantry. Bread, cold butter, eggs, pork, a few fruits too close to spoiled to matter, and other various ingredients. Loki frowned slightly.

 

“Where is your fish kept?”

 

“There are cans of tuna in the cupboard next to the chicken.”

 

Confused, Loki searched for and drew down a thick metal disc with what could be called a drawing of a fish on its side. She did not understand how this could contain food until (y/n) employed a hand-held contraption to remove the top layer. Inside was a sloshing mass of shredded something. Could one even call it meat? The smell was less than appealing, and Loki scrunched her nose as she stepped away.

 

“Sorry, princess,” (y/n) teased, “it’s the best you’re going to get here.”

 

Loki flinched, but let the titling pass. “Is there no way to obtain fresh fish in this city?” she condescended.

 

(Y/n) shrugged. “They have fish at the store, but I wouldn’t call it fresh.”

 

 _ _‘It__ _ _must be better than whatever that is,’__  Loki thought as she watched her living companion drain and scrape the contents of the can onto a slice of bread. “You aren’t actually going to eat…that,” Loki waved her hand at the abomination, “are you?”  

 

"Um...yes?" (Y/n) smirked apologetically. "It's open now, so…”  

 

Loki’s eyes widened with horror, and she excused herself before (y/n) could take the first bite.  

  

****(Your POV)** **

__‘I know she’s been pampered, but seriously, not even canned meat?’__  The expression on Lani’s face, which you recognized as disgust, remained for the rest of the evening. At her request, you made a stop by the grocery store the following day for a serving of “fresh” salmon and a few other things to go with it.

 

“Lani, I’m home,” you called, kicking off your shoes and dropping your laptop off in its customary spot. She appeared as you were tucking the groceries away and watched from the edge of the kitchen area. “Here,” you said, setting the plastic-wrapped pink meat on the counter in front of her. She eyed it curiously. “Salmon, from the store.”

 

Lani smirked triumphantly and began unwrapping it. One whiff was enough to scrunch her face, as you expected, and you chuckled. “See?”

 

Her lips drew into a line as she wrapped the meat up again. “I will concede, it is not “fresh”, but I dare say it is better than whatever was in that container you showed me yesterday.”

 

You shrugged. “I wouldn’t get used to it, better or no. Fish is still more expensive than it used to be.”

 

“Why not simply catch it yourself?” Lani’s tone was that of a parent to a child. “It seems so odious to depend on someone else only to be given something that is near spoiled.”

 

You resisted the urge to sneer at her simplistic entitlement. “We aren’t near anywhere that has fish worth eating, for one. For two, even if we were, I don’t have a fishing permit for this area, only for the lake near the cabin.”

 

Lani’s eyes lit up. “Will you be returning there in the near future?”

 

“We only go once a year, I’m afraid.” The disappointment on her face panged in your chest. “…But I think I have some time off coming up. I’ll have to clear it with Aunt Emily. Technically, the cabin is hers since Uncle…” The memory of watching your uncle disintegrate in Emily’s arms stole your voice, and your eyes slowly dropped to the floor.

 

Lani took a tentative step toward you. The tips of her long, dark hair caught your attention as she dipped a bit to meet your eyes. For the first time, she offered you a kind, reassuring smile. “I think it would be a worthwhile venture. Without your nieces to corral, you could finally relax and actually enjoy being away from the city. ”

 

You ran the idea through the usual checks of feasibility and expense-versus-return, and finally nodded. "I'll call Aunt Emily tomorrow. It's too late today." You followed Lani's gaze to the salmon still sitting on the counter. "So, how do we want to cook this?"

 

Lani took a step back as though the fish would bite her. “I am not eating that.”

 

“It’s that or the can,” you teased.

 

After a moment, Lani sighed, relenting. “Fine,” she smirked at you, “but I do not trust your ability to prepare it correctly. I suppose I will have to.” 

 

Flabbergasted, you stepped out of the way as Lani strode boldly into the kitchen and began searching through the various cupboards. “I…don’t know if I am insulted or not,” you laughed.

 

“You can decide after dinner.”

 

Lani glanced over her elegantly swept shoulder, those green eyes meeting yours and melting you with a simple smile. You swallowed hard.

 

“I look forward to it.”

 

Dinner was enjoyable, though you didn’t have the heart to tell Lani she had used too much lemon juice. She was as proud of herself as she set the table and buttered a bit of bread, watching you expectantly as you tried a bit of everything on your plate.

 

“It has a good sear,” you commented before taking a sip of water to dilute the lemon taste.

 

Lani beamed, almost haughty, and you braced as she took a bite of her own serving. The smile faded and she grimaced.

 

“Too much lemon,” she said quietly after a tense moment.

 

“Too much lemon,” you agreed.

 

****(Loki’s POV)** **

The months trickled by faster than Loki could notice they had passed. The mundane routine of this temporary life bored her to no end, and she soon came to realize that fortune must have had a hand in (y/n)’s finding her. The mortals she was forced to interact with to earn her funds were deplorable, loud, ignorant, uncultured, and filthy. (Y/n), however, was different. Her pulse did not match that of mortal society; it beat at its own rhythm and in its own fashion. She saw it in the way (y/n) interacted with the masses as well. Always kind and polite, but watchful, mindful, and determined when she chose to act. While others reacted instinctively, (y/n) acted with intention.

 

And she defended Loki in both subtle and overt ways. Many a time Loki was accused of being arrogant or rude with her words, but (y/n) was there to smooth things over or justify them. Loki was also quite aware of the roaming male gazes, suffered the stumbling attempts at flirtation, and recoiled from the unsolicited contact. (Y/n) again was always there, either supporting Loki’s rejections or responding before Loki had a chance. She laughed at the goddess’s insults, applauded how she easily turned their words against them, and several times moved to physically repel an overly enthusiastic pursuer.

 

(Y/n)’s humor and temperament complemented Loki’s quite well, and the two enjoyed many of the same activities and opinions. Even when they differed, (y/n) easily found compromise, or stated plainly why they did not agree. Loki was used to such differences leading to arguments, but with (y/n) they became discussions. Were this any other circumstance, had she met (y/n) perhaps on Asgard, Loki would dare to consider calling her "friend" with sincerity, for that was what they were becoming

 

 _ _‘Can__ _ _I not now?’__  Loki considered as she assisted (y/n). They were constructing the frame of Loki’s new bed and moving the office items into (y/n)’s own room. ‘ _ _Is this not the same way Hogun and the others behaved with me before the incident on Jotunheim? Perhaps it is similar, but this is only to ease the burden of close quarters. Simple as that and nothing more.’__  The goddess almost frowned at (y/n). __‘Isn’t__ _ _it?’__  

 

Doubt crept into Loki’s mind, and her thoughts plagued her as she noted everything her roommate did for her. When (y/n) worked from home, she would make coffee and breakfast for the both of them, and she continued to tinker with the brewing process in an attempt to find a method that produced something Loki agreed with. She ensured the dinner ingredients were ready for Loki each day, always thanked her for the chores she did around the house, and even bought a new set of shelves to fit the extra books Loki wanted. If the goddess mentioned offhandedly that something displeased her, she soon found the issue rectified without pomp or circumstance.

 

__‘This is all far more than easing co-habitation, yet I cannot see her profit in any of it. I am here only by a temporary arrangement, so why? Why put upon herself without need or request? '_ _

 

One evening, Loki noted that their seating arrangement during their evening ritual felt wrong somehow. Try as she might, she could not pinpoint the cause, but knew the solution. She closed her book for a moment as (y/n) made to settle in her chair and gave her a kind smile.

 

“There is an entire half of couch open, you know,” Loki said.

 

The other woman paused and blinked, standing back up. “Oh..I just.. I thought you would want the room, since you’re nearly as tall as I am.”

 

“I am quite comfortable myself,” Loki stated, tucking her legs a bit closer, and (y/n) accepted the invitation.

 

She settled on the opposite end of the couch, laptop on her knees. She reconfirmed with Loki several times that this arrangement was agreeable. Loki was not lying or twisting the truth, either, having (y/n) nearer was indeed comfortable.

 

(Y/n)’s near-pampering continued. Loki’s room was soon trimmed as near to her former princely quarters as she could manage on Earth, her wardrobe extensive and refined, and (y/n) went so far as to alter her working hours to drive Loki to work in the morning. It finally was too much, and Loki could stand it no longer. She had to know.

 

Seated on the couch for their evening ritual, she closed her book and glanced to the opposite end of the couch where (y/n) was settling.

 

“(Y/n), might I ask you something?” Loki asked quietly.

 

“Of course, but I can’t promise I will have an answer.” (Y/n) glanced over.

 

“Why are you doing all of this?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You seem to be attempting to install me in a permanent fashion, despite being aware of my impending departure, and address issues most friends would not care to bother with. Why?”

 

“I don’t see a reason why you can’t be comfortable while you’re here,” (y/n) shrugged.

 

“At what expense?”

 

(Y/n) chuckled. “I’ll spend my money how I please, thank you.” She paused, then turned to Loki, uncertain. “Or are you mentioning it because it makes you uncomfortable?”

 

Loki fixed her attention to a spot on the wall. “Not exactly.”

 

“…Lani, when I decided to let you stay, I knew it wouldn’t be a permanent thing, but I don’t see that as a reason to treat you like a guest the whole time. This is your home, too, now, for however long you want to stay.” Her voice dropped, betraying her vulnerability. “Besides, I don’t exactly have a lot of friends, and we seem to get along well. Why not just enjoy it while it lasts, you know?”

 

A heavy silence fell between them, Loki working through her words and (y/n) fidgeting with her device. Eventually, she closed it and set it aside, bidding Loki ‘good night’ with a nervous smile before disappearing.

 

Loki propped her arm on the side of the couch and rested her temple against her knuckles. She was momentarily suspicious of (y/n)’s intentions, despite them being pure for all she could tell from the very beginning. How else could Loki explain why (y/n) went out of her way to maintain Loki and her plans? Mortals had not the tenacity and vigor required to deceive the Goddess of Mischief, most especially when she was in such close proximity and for so long. Loki had seen (y/n) confuse and mislead others, had even taught her a few new methods, but it was a behavior Loki had come to recognize in the other woman, and she had never observed it being used on herself.

 

Loki sighed, realizing she was putting too much thought into it and seeing things that weren’t there. She simply had to accept that (y/n), the simple human that she was, genuinely enjoyed her company and…

 

No, Loki realized that (y/n) did indeed have motive behind it all: she wanted Loki to be happy. The realization turned her blood to ice and knotted in her stomach. It was simultaneously incomprehensible and frightening. Why did the thought mean so much to her?

 

Loki rubbed at her eyes, wishing she could call to Heimdall to bring her home and be done with this. She preferred her brother’s inevitably overbearing reaction to discovering she was still alive to the sensations coiling in her chest.

 

She set her book aside and made for her bedroom, but paused at (y/n)’s open door. She was curled on her side half-way under her blankets, the shallow rise and fall of her shoulder conveying the depth of her slumber. Quietly, Loki padded to her bedside, examining more closely this woman that had opened her home and heart to a stranger.

 

 _ _‘It__ _ _will be many months yet until I can afford to escape. Perhaps (y/n) has a point; why not simply enjoy this while it lasts, whatever ‘this' may be? It is but a moment in time. She will soon forget me once I leave, and I her. It will be fine. Until then,'__  Loki flattened a crinkle in the edge of (y/n)’s sheet, __‘this__ _ _is home.’__  

 

The following afternoon, Loki chose to lounge in the common area instead of her room, waiting for her friend to return. Precisely on time, (y/n)’s call came from the front door. Loki rose and made her way over, meeting her with a genuine smile and voice of silk.

 

“Welcome home.”

 

(Y/n) blushed.

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why sections I have italicized in formatting are not displaying that way in the published version. Please assume anything withing single quotes are meant to be italic as thoughts.

****(Your POV)****  

The responding call from Lani became as routine as kicking off your shoes every day you came home. She cooked with the ingredients you brought and you washed the dishes. She was determined to ensure such a travesty as canned or reheated foods never occurred again. It was endearing, and you didn’t mind in the least, most especially because Lani seemed to enjoy making you try her unique dishes, and what made her happy also made you. 

 

You were especially fond of the sort of fruit soup she made now and then, even as she bemoaned the lack of the fresh berries she preferred to include. You gloated to one of your co-workers every time she made it, because it made them jealous. They had never tried anything like it, and you refused to share. It was something special between friends, and something Lani took particular pride in making. You were unsurprised to discover it was actually a traditional dish in Finland, Norway, and Sweden. In fact, now that you thought about it, most of the “experimental” dishes she made were Scandinavian. When you pointed that out to Lani, she jokingly feigned ignorance.

 

“What a coincidence! I had no idea.”

 

“Oh, no, of course not,” you jested back. “Is this your way of trying to acclimate your palette, then? Or do you just enjoy using me as your guinea pig for the recipes with pretty pictures?”

 

She gave you a coy smirk, and it sent pleasant shivers down your spine.

 

“Well, I __do__  enjoy using you.”

 

You kept your thoughts to yourself.

 

You finagled time off from work during prime fishing season and somehow convinced your aunt to let you spend some time at the family cabin on your own. When you hinted that it had something to do with missing your uncle, she sobbingly relented. There was some truth to it, so the white lie only left you feeling a touch guilty, and just for a moment.

 

As the day drew near, you checked off the list of supplies and needed preparations. Lani gladly accompanied you to ensure you purchased the proper replacements for the myriad of worn equipment at the cabin. It was entertaining how she behaved as though she knew best about the most random things, even if it annoyed you now and again.

 

This time was no different as you walked the aisles together in business casual wear, her in heels, and she imperiously judged the available stock. You did your best to ignore the various glances from others in jeans and flannel, refusing to let them make you feel out of place even as Lani pursed her lips at what you placed in your basket. She commented about how all the contraptions only served to overly-complicate what was a truly simple task that a child could accomplish. This earned the two of you a few offended glowers, and you ushered her quickly away from the camping displays and into the fishing section.

 

Bait, lines, hooks, rods and reels, Lani seemed uncharacteristically familiar with most of it, but what truly caught her attention were the nets. To say she was displeased with them as well was an understatement.

 

“I crafted better than these when I was yea high,” she declared as she indicated her waist, and she appeared offended on your behalf. “Do they honestly expect you to give them money for such an eyesore?”

 

You ignored her second comment. “Hold on, you know how to make fishing nets?” 

 

“Among other things,” she chuckled at the growing confusion on your face and gave you a sly smile. “I’m a rather deft hand at knots, as well.” 

 

You bit your lip to keep from blushing.

 

As you followed her to the aisle with weaving supplies, you realized you were guilty of presuming too much. Thinking on it, you couldn’t remember her indulging in any of the stereotypical “spoiled rich girl” behaviors. She did not wear make-up or fuss about her appearance over-much, she didn’t whine or complain uselessly, her inclinations were principled but practical, and did not lend to waste. She was an enigma; and you loved it. 

 

You stopped yourself right there. ‘ _ _No. All joking aside, we are friends at most, that’s all.’__  

 

You repeated this to yourself again and again until it sunk in. Just as it did, there were soft fingers pressing gently against your arm. Lani wore a concerned expression. 

 

“(Y/n), are you alright?”

 

Your eyes were dry, and you realized you’d been staring into space. You gave them a quick rub to re-wet them. 

 

“Of course, sorry, I was just thinking. Do you have everything?” 

 

Lani nodded and you both returned home to pack and prep the new gear. Instead of reading that night, Lani sat with a shuttle and cord, weaving away. It took her three days of work, but by the end of them she had created a sizeable, sturdy, and even net. You didn't bother trying to hide how impressed you were.  

 

“I guess you’re good for something after all,” you teased with a chuckle, fingering the edge. 

 

For a moment, she was taken aback. Her expression quickly melted into a broad smirk as she hummed at you. She said nothing else and did not otherwise respond to the comment, and it left you with a foreboding. The next morning, you discovered why.

 

You were permitted, thankfully, to work from home again since your only assignment was to review and approve installation diagrams. As you stirred your morning coffee and yawned, you ran through the mental list of tasks for the day. Waiting for your laptop to boot, you took your first sip.

 

You promptly spat it back into the cup, retching.

 

‘ _ _Wha-? What the hell? What happened to my coffee?!’__  

 

You returned to the kitchen and poured it out before examining each piece of the brewing process. ‘ _ _Filters are fine, grounds are good, and the percolator doesn’t have any build up. Everything was fresh and clean this morning, what could-’__ you reached for the sugar bowl and hesitantly tasted a fingertip of it. ‘ _ _Salt. How did salt get in the sugar dish?’__  You knew the answer already; there was only one other person who could have done it. 

 

“Lani...” you growled; and from her room, you heard the gentle ring of her sleepy laughter. You realized she was waiting for exactly this. ‘ _ _If this is how you want to play…’__ you thought, already planning your revenge.

 

 

 ** **(Loki’s POV)****  

So began their game. (Y/n) met Loki trick for trick, quickly learning to anticipate what she would not expect as well as how to make Loki doubt what she would do next. While she considered the incidents simple and obvious, the Goddess of Mischief was nevertheless thrilled. They restored a sense of normalcy to her displaced existence.

 

Loki had a sufficient working understanding of the mortal world now to care for herself, so she could have struck out on her own, but it did no harm to remain. Besides, (y/n) was too much fun.

 

The week at the cabin was quite agreeable.

 

Loki taught (y/n) how to fish with a net, since she only knew bait and tackle. She was pleased to see the woman had not the aversion to such things that afflicted most other city-faring mortals Loki encountered. Watching her hurling the net into the water the way Loki showed her, the intensity and focus in her eyes as she waited for the right moment to pull it in, the elation on her face as she presented her catch to her friend; it all pleased the goddess and instilled a sense of pride. Together they caught enough to have a small surplus, and Loki promptly salted these to bring back to the city.

 

(Y/n) taught Loki how to play a strategic Midgardian board game called "Tak", which was deceptively complex. Loki was a quick learner, however, and (y/n) wondered aloud if Loki truly had not played it before. Time and again, Loki left her friend exasperated and grumbling. While she quite enjoyed taunting and teasing (y/n) during play, she claimed her victories gracefully, and (y/n)’s skill improved with each round which kept the game fresh.

 

Until now, she didn’t realize how slowly she was healing. She continued to feel more of her strength return, and her mind and reflexes sharpen. It was pleasing, but frustrating, for she still could not feel the familiar warmth of seidr in her fingertips. At this point Loki concluded it would not return until she resided in the place Odin had called “home”, but one thing needled at Loki’s mind. In the past when she had used all her sorceries, a hollow sensation remained akin to a spilled glass waiting to be filled again, but try as she might she could not find it anymore. ‘ _ _Perhaps I am simply not at that stage yet,’__  she thought, even as she doubted.

 

“I don’t think staring at the board like that is going to let you develop telekinesis, Lani…” (y/n) said, bringing Loki’s mind back to the game at hand.

 

“Worth a try, I suppose,” she responded wryly as she made her move.

 

The game continued, and Loki's distraction cost her. For the first time in days (y/n) gestured in victory, and she inadvertently knocked her glass of wine. She cursed and they both reacted, moving to catch it before it shattered on the floor. It took a moment for either to realize the tangle of fingers around the glass and (y/n) quickly withdrew when she did.  

 

“A little enthusiastic tonight, aren’t we?” Loki asked, distracting herself by leaving to fetch a towel.

 

“With how often you beat me, can you fault me for being excited that I finally won?”

 

Loki laughed, but inside she was cringing. What had that sensation been that now knotted in her stomach and warmed her lower belly? Why did her fingers tingle where (y/n)’s had touched? Loki of Asgard was no stranger to carnality, but this was something else; something different. When she returned with a towel, (y/n) took it from her.

 

“Here, let me, it’s my mess.”

 

Loki watched her mop up the splatter on the floor and table before holding her hands out for Loki’s.

 

“Let me see. It didn’t cut you, did it?”

 

The goddess allowed her to examine her fingers and hands, now realizing what the shudders across her own skin meant.

 

“I-I am uninjured, I assure you,” she stammered and folded her hands against her belly.

 

“If you’re sure…” She didn’t believe Loki. “It’s getting late anyway, for me, at least. I think I’m going to tuck in for the night.” (Y/n) smiled before quickly turning away and disappearing into the bathroom.

 

Loki realized the other woman’s face was flushed, but not from the alcohol. The physical response must have been mutual. The thought made her throat run dry.

 

‘ ** _ ** _No_**_** _ _!__ ’ she scolded herself, ‘ _ _I berated Thor for this very thing!’__ She’d let the situation grow out of hand, allowed herself too much comfort and developed an attachment. ‘ _ _To a__ ** _ ** _mortal_**_** _ _no less!’__  she thought with disgust. When Loki finally chose to bed down, (y/n) was already asleep. Loki stretched out on her own bed, scowling at nothing. This could not be permitted to worsen. She would have to find a way to be rid of this sentiment and rebuff (y/n). With those thoughts, she slipped into restfulness.

__

__A biting wind whipped around Loki, causing him to wrap his arms tightly around himself. He realized he wore only a pair of frayed black breaches, had returned to his male form, and was still without his magic. He was on Jotunheim, and in the distance, he could see the towering reach of Utgard. The frozen wasteland stretched on for miles, but it was the only path he could take, and so he stumbled forward. Starting at his toes, his skin began turning blue, and his Jotun designs rose across his skin. Something cracked behind him, and he twisted to see what it was. Red eyes met fellow red and Loki reeled away from the undefined monstrosity. The ice broke under his feet, and he fell._ _

__

__The air grew warm as he tumbled._ _

__

__A familiar shattering screamed through his bones as he crumpled on something metal, and he cried out. Sparks flew from unseen cables, a hunched form he knew was Thor sat in shadow, as helpless as he. Loki tried to sit up, to see where he was, but he already knew. Heavy footsteps reverberated through the metal floor and he panicked. He knew what was coming; who it was. As the titan’s shadow fell over him, the enormous gloved hand reaching for him, Loki gritted his teeth and rolled. Every movement was excruciating._ _

__

__“Undying fealty indeed. Why do you try to evade fate?” The beast’s voice hadn’t changed. “I told you once; no resurrections. You cannot escape my will.”_ _

__

__As the hand came down on him, the metal floor dropped away, and Loki plunged deep into warm, sapphire waters. Above, golden light; Asgard. He kicked and flailed with his broken limbs, slowly rising toward the surface, but not fast enough. Air escaped him, water burned in his lungs, and his vision began to blur. An elegant silhouette fell across the water just as he lost the strength to continue struggling. A graceful hand baring a golden ring he could not mistake slid into the water and took him by the wrist, pulling him up. Floating above the surface, he was at the mercy of a kindly smiling Frigga._ _

__

__Tears fell from his eyes and froze along his cheeks and neck. His apologies were endless; for Thor, for Odin, for letting her die._ _

__

__“I should have been there, mother!” Loki sobbed. “I could have stopped him, I could have saved you!!”_ _

__

__Sadness touched her face, and Loki knew without knowing what was about to happen. A black-and-red iridescence shape formed behind her, a blade sliced forth from her chest. She smiled even as her body dissolved into cloud and he slipped from her fingers. Loki screamed again; in rage, in terror, in heartbreak; but it was silent. His pain didn’t matter, and neither did he as he sank into sapphire once more._ _

__

****(Your POV)** **

You scolded yourself as you washed your face, as you brushed your hair and changed, and a final time as you tucked into bed. ‘ _ _Just friends. Nothing else. No matter what I might feel, she doesn’t feel the same, and I can’t expect her to; not when she’s just going to leave. Don’t forget that: she’s leaving.’__  You hugged your pillow as you let the minor influence of alcohol urge you to drift.

 

You woke to Lani’s screaming.

 

You sat bolt up, eyes darting to her bed. She was contorted, writhing, but still laying down, and shrieking as though someone was gutting her alive. You were on your feet and at her side before you could register the cold of the room.

 

“Lani! Lani, wake up!” You pulled the blanket away and took her arms in your hands, trying to steady her. “ _ _Lani!__ ”

 

Her eyes snapped open and she gasped for air, eyes fixed on a formless horror.

 

“Lani?” you ventured softly, calmly. “It’s okay, it was just a dream.”

 

You let her sit up, still staring straight ahead, sweat dampening her clothes and sheets as her chest continued to heave. You pressed a reassuring hand to the back of her shoulder. She finally caught her breath and realized where she was, that it had only been a dream. She did not cry as you had come to expect from someone waking from a nightmare. Instead, and much to your surprise, she allowed herself to fall  against you. You wrapped your arms around her shoulders and tucked her head under your chin, stroking her hair and making soothing sounds.

 

You didn’t know how long you sat like that with her before she began to slump, falling back into sleep. You gently laid her back down and pulled her blanket up, tucking it around her. As you turned to step away, you felt her fingers catch your wrist.

 

“Please,” she whispered, voice reminiscent of the day you first met her, “do not leave me alone.”

 

Your heart jumped. You turned back to her, gently removing her fingers. “I won’t. I’m right there, see?” You pointed at your bed, not far away.

 

Her eyes finally moved, flicking to meet yours as quiet tears slithered free. “Please…”

 

You now understood what she was asking for. The beds in this room were too small to share, so instead you heaved yours next to hers. You tucked back in, both of you facing each other, and you offered her a comforting hand. She took you by the wrist in a way that reminded you of a commanding regent and pulled it against her chest. You fought to keep your fingers in check as they pressed into her soft warmth. Like this, Lani quickly fell back to sleep.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why sections I have italicized in formatting are not displaying that way in the published version. Please assume anything withing single quotes are meant to be italic as thoughts.

****(Loki’s POV)** **

The first thing Loki realized when she woke was that her fingers had gone stiff. Cracking her eyes open, she found them locked around (y/n)’s wrist, who had pushed her bed against her own and was sleeping peacefully nearby. Slowly, she peeled her fingers away, noting the deep red impressions they left. (Y/n) woke almost immediately, took in the world, and then gave Loki a reassuring smile.

 

“I thought you were having another nightmare,” she said softly.

 

Still dazed, Loki sat up and shook her head.

 

“Shall I make coffee?” (Y/n) asked kindly, and Loki nodded silently.

 

(Y/n) slipped away and Loki drew her legs up to her chest, resting her forehead on her knees. She was exhausted, filmy, shaken, and thirsty. From the pounding of her head, she had cried during the night. She could not recall it, however, or when (Y/n) had pushed her bed next to her own. That nightmare, though… Her fingers touched at her sore throat, and her eyes began to burn as she recalled Frigga’s smiling face and her own screaming. She eased to her feet and wandered to the shower; cleaning up would solve several of her unspoken problems.

 

Afterward she sat on the bed, picking through her hair with a comb. (Y/n) slipped in with two steaming mugs, setting one on the bedside table within reach for Loki. The goddess could sense her desire to speak, most likely to ask her about her nightmare, but instead (y/n) sat on the bed next to her, politely quiet for a long moment.

 

“Would…you like me to do that for you?” (y/n) asked, and Loki realized she had been fighting with a gnarl and losing.

 

Lacking the strength to deny her, Loki handed the comb over and turned her back to (y/n). She set her coffee aside and began carefully running the comb through her dark hair. Shivers ran up and down her spine as (y/n) smoothed it along her back.

 

“It’s grown much longer than before. I wish I had hair like yours…” she said sweetly.

 

“I promise, you do not. It is often unruly.”

 

Loki cringed at the sound of her own voice, still rough from her screams, even as (y/n) giggled.

 

“Kind of like you, I suppose. Doesn’t change my mind.”

 

A corner of Loki's mouth twitched, as though trying to smile but could not quite make it. The snags were gone, but (y/n) continued to run the comb through as her hair dried. Each pass swept a bit more of Loki’s unrest away, replacing it with calm and a sense of security.

 

The coffees had long gone cold by the time (y/n) rose from the bed.

 

“I think breakfast is in order.”

 

Loki caught her wrist again as she passed, meeting her gaze. “Thank you.”

 

(Y/n) twisted her hand to grasp Loki’s wrist in return. Neither needed to speak; their thoughts and feelings were easily communicated like this. (Y/n) tugged questioningly, and Loki let her pull her to her feet. They held each others' wrists for a moment more before breaking away, and (y/n) moved swiftly to return to the kitchen.

 

“Bring the mugs, would you? I’ll make some fresh,” she called.

 

Loki ran her fingers along the shallow impressions in her wrist, and her thoughts from the evening prior returned. ‘ _ _This cannot happen. I__ ** _ ** _must_**_** _ _maintain distance.’__ Still, she could not bring herself to regret her actions thus far. She plucked up the mugs of tepid brew and returned them to the kitchen where (y/n) had already set to work on new coffee and food. She settled herself in one of the squishy chairs in the common area and watched, elbow on the armrest, temple against her knuckles, legs tucked properly.

 

‘ _ _She is below me; a human animal; a dull-minded mortal like the rest of her kind. Before I realize, she will be nothing more than dust, and this pained breath of my life will have passed into obscurity.’__

 

Loki ran these thoughts through her mind time and again, observing said human animal with a passive expression, but she could not convince herself. She was becoming caught in her own flimsy web the same as she had several times in the past. This time, however, she could neither fight her way out nor flee. The trickster goddess was trapped.

 

****(Your POV)** ** **_**** _ **

You decided to give Lani some space. If you were to judge from the soreness in your wrist, whatever her nightmares were had cut deep. You ensured you were always within her field of vision and noticed Lani flicked her eyes around more often today. You suspected she was still rattled from her dreams, but she calmed when she spotted you.   

 

You waited for her to show she was open to interaction, but a clear indication never came. For the last day, she was as distant as when you first brought her home. What memories had her nightmare brought back, you wondered? You would be lying if you said seeing her like this didn’t pain you, and you were torn between respecting her need for silence and wanting to comfort her.

 

The first leg of the drive home was awkward. Lani stared out the window, thoughtful, and you chewed your lip and fidgeted as you fought the urge to question her. The silence was unnerving. Something in you needed to feel connected with her now, and her cold shoulder was becoming unbearable. You took advantage of the break in it when you stopped for gas to engage her.

 

“So, how’s work going?” you asked, “Anything new?”

 

She didn't look at you but did respond. "Abhorrent, as always. These people are so exhausting-ly tedious"

 

“How much longer do you think you have?”

 

“Two months, perhaps three.”

 

Your heart sank, but you tried to sound happy for her. “So not much longer; that’s something at least. Have you started looking at ticket prices again?”

 

“I have not.”

 

“I would suggest you do sooner rather than later. Seasonal deals come and go.”

 

She hummed at you and turned in her seat to pluck up her bottle of water.

 

“What about places to stay?”

 

“The area I desire is available.”

 

“Mm.” Then a thought struck you, and you almost kicked yourself for not thinking of it sooner. “Lani, do you have a passport…?”

 

Her confused expression told you she did not. You resisted the urge to sigh deeply.

 

The rest of the drive was a complicated conversation of how to acquire travel documents for Lani. She was looking at you now, actively engaged, and despite the frustrating nature of the discussion, it put you at ease again.

 

Neither of you had come up with a solution by the time you reached home. Groggy, you both dropped the bags off in the walkway to unpack later, cleaned up, and went straight to bed. You were asleep almost before you finished pulling the blankets over your shoulder.

 

You woke in the late morning, stiff from the depth of your slumber. As you shifted to find a new, comfortable position, you realized there was a weight on your bed pressed against your back. Blinking, you took a glance. On her side, the dip and swell of her form mirroring your own, was Lani. She was wrapped in her own blanket, her hair braided and tossed up so it wouldn’t catch between you.

 

Unwilling to disturb her, you laid back down. You could feel her breathing along your shoulder blades, felt her every minor shift. It sent shivers through your body, warmth pooling in your lower belly and settling in your core, your heart thumping. She was so very near, the scents of her conditioner and body wash all around you. You were a solitary sleeper by preference, and so should have felt crowded. It was Lani crowding you, though, and you couldn’t bring yourself to begrudge her the solace she clearly desired; or the closeness to her that you so craved.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why sections I have italicized in formatting are not displaying that way in the published version. Please assume anything withing single quotes are meant to be italic as thoughts.

****(Loki’s POV)** **

Neither Loki nor (y/n) spoke about the cabin or her sleeping in her bed. They did not speak about how they stood and sat closer to one another, how they exchanged blushing or coy smiles more often. Neither said anything about how Loki stretched her legs between them on the couch, or how (y/n) ran her fingertips along her feet and ankles. Both understood the intangible thing that existed between them now was delicate, taboo, and that it would disintegrate if examined too closely. It was newly-fallen snow on a naked blacktop, the spots of color in one’s vision, not to be chased or meddled with.

 

Their daily routines became rituals that cycled depending on if (y/n) worked from home, or if Loki was working late. Neither failed to adhere without some sort of recompense. The structure, in truth, was almost oppressive to Loki, but she found comfort in their playful games and carefully planned pranks. One such prank thrilled Loki with her anticipation of its execution. Not only because she could already see and hear her friend’s reaction, but because it was a diversion for Loki’s true intent. The goddess had no shame, it felt exquisitely delightful to scheme again.

 

Using the information she weaseled and swiped from the COMF office and women’s home resources, Loki followed a promising lead on obtaining her necessary travel documentation. Tonight she was acting on it. For (y/n), she left a lovely gift box for with a short apologetic note signed simply with “L”. Instead of the usual trinket or treat, inside she had rigged a glitter bomb. Loki knew (y/n) despised glitter. It would take hours for her to clean herself and the room, and Loki was counting on her growing frustrated enough to simply go to sleep and forget that Loki still was not home. She could almost hear (y/n) roaring her name already.

 

‘ _ _It will still be in her hair when I return.’__  The thought made her laugh as she pulled on her coat, gathered her required items, and locked the door behind her. She timed it so she would not encounter (y/n) driving home as she made her way toward a residential area on the other side of town barely fit for even a chitauri.

 

It was dark by the time she arrived.

 

The scent of the neighborhood changed and her humor faded. The daughter of Asgard pulled her long black coat more tightly around herself, eyes and ears sharp as she searched for the house she needed. Everything about this place wept of neglect and made Loki’s skin crawl. She felt filthy being here, but it was necessary.

 

Finally, in the struggling light of a streetlamp, she found the flaking numbers of the address she sought on the rounded curb of a driveway. In it sat a polished black vehicle, probably the most cared-for thing in the neighborhood. The front yard was fenced in, the grass unkempt and half dead. A burly hound with sharp ears and a square head came bounding to the fence, snarling and barking. Loki recoiled, nervous that the fence would not hold such a beast, but relaxed when she saw the chain around its neck pull taut.

 

She caught the slightest movement in the window as she continued up the drive to the front porch, carefully navigating the crumbled stairs. She rang the bell and crossed her arms, holding a fold of large bills clearly visible in one hand, a manila folder of papers in the other. She bounced a bit as she waited, as though fending off the chill of the night. Finally, the inner door opened a crack, and a large brown eye glowered at her.

 

“The fuck you want, bitch?”

 

Loki smiled. “I’m looking for someone who can help me with what I need.” She held the top sheet of one of the information forms against the screen for the man to read.

 

“You got money?” the man grumped.

 

Loki fanned the bills in her hand just so, pleased when the huge man unhitched a chain and opened the doors. He threw something from a bucket by the door into the front yard, silencing the hound as it ate, and locked the door behind Loki.

 

“Lemme see that shit.”

 

The man snatched the folder and bills from Loki’s hands, all but shoved her on a broken and stained couch, and ordered her to stay put as he slipped into another room. Loki quickly took in the pertinent details of the common area where she was. The carpet was stained as well and had small, round burn marks here and there. A wood table sat in what had to be the cramped dining area under a cheap chandelier and bore gouges, stains, and burns of its own. There were two doors to other rooms branching off the common area, one closed and one cracked open where the man had slipped through.

 

She listened to the voices in that room. The language was profane, uncultured, but she could still understand that they were deciding her money was legitimate and her paperwork in order. The first man returned, accompanied by another scrawnier man. He examined Loki with beady eyes, her folder open in his hands.

 

“Well well… Good evening, Ms. Hall-“

 

“If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather skip the formalities,” Loki said impishly.

 

“Woman of business; I like it.” The scrawny man grinned, his stained teeth on full display. “Leaving the country, are we?”

 

“I am. Sooner rather than later, if I have my way.”

 

“Well, sweetie, these things take time. Printing alone can take hours.” The man shrugged. “And you aren’t the only person requesting these; it could be a while.”

 

She laughed. "Surely there's a way to hasten the process," Loki maintained her jaunty demeanor, ever-grinning, ever charming.

 

“Well, I suppose I could let you pay the expedited service fee,” The larger man flicked through the bills he’d taken from Loki, both men counting, “but it doesn’t look like you have enough.”

 

“Name your price.” She reclined leisurely on the couch.

 

The men turned away for a moment, whispering, but Loki could hear them deciding on an amount before they faced her again.

 

“$5700,” the scrawny man declared. It was clear he expected her to argue.

 

“For such a price, I would insist on inspecting the product before paying. I can’t part with so much for something that may be no better than a student ID.”

 

The enormous man blustered beside the smaller, who raised a hand to hold him at bay. “Demanding, aren’t you, kitten?”

 

Loki canted her head just so, a corner of her lip curling into her signature smirk.

 

“Are you going to show me, or not?”

 

The smaller man considered the mouthy woman on his couch for a moment before calling for a third person. This one appeared from the second room, and Loki surmised he could be no older than an adolescent. He was nervous, flinching often as he produced a few finished examples of passports and driver’s licenses for Loki to examine. Satisfied, she turned her doe-y green eyes to him and smiled gently.

 

“These are well done. You must take great pride in your work.” He blushed, scratching the back of his neck. “Do you think you could make me one of each tonight?”

 

The scrawny man spoke before the boy could. “That’s not for him to decide, and you still haven’t paid the rest of the money.”

 

Loki glanced between the grown men before rising from the couch. “Ah, yes, I knew I was forgetting something.” She pushed the boy into her seat as she stepped away.

 

The scrawny man held out his hand expectantly. Instead of money, Loki placed her hand in his. He had only a moment to be confused before Loki had palmed his nose, his jaw, and his diaphragm, crumpling him to the floor. The larger man had barely enough time to realize his companion had been attacked. Loki ducked smoothly away from his grasp, slipping behind him and knocking him cold with her fists. He fell atop the bleeding man, pinning him. The boy on the couched screamed, scrambling to press himself into the corner of it and throwing his arms up protectively.

 

Loki brushed her hands off and moved to him, shushing him and patting his head.

 

“You’re alright dear, don’t worry. As long as you can give me what I need.”

 

As he worked, she bound and gagged the older men, locking them in the basement after reclaiming her money. Exploring the house, she found multiple stacks of bills left simply lying about. ‘ _ _How careless,’__  she thought as she tucked a few into her coat. Loki had to wake the boy several times through the night, promising he would be safe as long as he continued working. The horizon was beginning to lighten as she examined the finished products, comparing them to the ones she had inspected before.

 

“You’ve done very well,” she cooed, stroking his face with the back of her hand. He kept his eyes on the ground, trembling. “Now, if you’ll return my paperwork, I’ll be on my way.”

 

He attempted to argue, stating something about policy, but the princess always had her way in the end. Halfway home, she transferred her items to a small bag she had kept hidden in her coat, and disposed of the long black article. (Y/n) would still be asleep. Loki could slip inside without her knowing anything had ever been amiss.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why sections I have italicized in formatting are not displaying that way in the published version. Please assume anything withing single quotes are meant to be italic as thoughts.

****(Your POV)** **

“Lani, I’m home!” you called cheerfully.

 

When there was no response, you glanced around for the customary note, finding one on your bedside table accompanying a lovely gift box the size of your hand. At first, you were touched, running your eyes across the elegant script that was Lani’s handwriting.

 

“ _ _(Y,n),__

__I will be home late tonight. Please do not wait up. I apologize that you will have to feed yourself. I will make it up to you in the morning._ _

__\- L”_ _

 

You’d grown used to her one-letter signature and set the note aside, examining the box. Green with gold ribbon, Lani’s colors. You couldn’t help but smile as you picked it up. Noting the weight, your smile faded slightly. ‘ _ _Lani, what have you done?’__  you thought, apprehensive, but excited. As inconvenient as some of her pranks were, you couldn’t help but look forward to them. You knew it was how she showed she cared. You drew a breath and opened the box.

 

A small fan began to whir, showering you, your clothes, your bed, and your floor in fine rainbow glitter. You stood there, stunned for a moment, watching the cloud of it settle. You knew Lani was aware of your hatred of this abomination. It clung to absolutely everything and was nigh impossible to remove! Now, it was all over you and your bed!

__

__‘Breakfast had better be that of the gods, or I am going to fucking kill her…’_ _

 

You reiterated your intention until the words became sounds without meaning as you employed your vacuum, tape, and wet paper towels to rescue yourself and your room. By the time you had removed the bulk of the glitter from your person, bed, floor, and bedside table, your eyes were growing heavy. You couldn’t sleep yet, however, not knowing you could dispose of more of this horrible stuff. You cringed at the thought of tracking it through the rest of the house, but you needed coffee if you were going to continue to clean. You winced as you made your way to the kitchen.

 

Noting the time, you groaned. You’d been at it for nearly four hours, and it was dark out. As you waited for the coffee to finish, you frowned. Even working late or running an errand, Lani should have been home by now. ‘ _ _Perhaps she missed the bus and is walking.’__  That only served to worry you more; and you hadn’t known Lani to use the bus system, claiming it was a cesspool of degenerates. You rolled your eyes at this every time.

 

You were certain she would be home any moment now, so sat at the kitchen table with your coffee, waiting even though her note said to not. One cup, two, three. It was 12 AM, 1 AM, 2. You were finding it difficult to stay awake, and you didn’t even have the energy to be concerned anymore. Against your greatest protest, you felt your forehead press against the cool table and the world slip away.

 

You woke to Lani’s hand running along your shoulders, her silken tones murmuring your name. You sat up with a start, coming around quickly. Your cup of coffee was gone, light was spilling in through the windows, and Lani was in her pajamas, hair pulled back.

 

“I thought I told you not to wait up,” she teased, setting a plate in front of you.

 

“Yeah, I…um…” You rubbed at your eyes. The previous night came back to you, and you turned a stony eye to her. “Yes, Lani, I __did__  find your note,” you growled.

 

Lani’s lips drew into a thin line as she tried not to smile. “I see the stars are still in your hair.” She was barely withholding her laughter as you glared daggers at her.

 

“Oh, yes, the ‘stars’ are all over my room now, thank you not at all.” You pulled the plate toward you and jabbed your fork at the eggs. “These had better be the best eggs you’ve ever made…”

 

Lani finally laughed, slipping into the other chair, elbow on the table and her chin in her hand imperiously. “Oh? Or what? What will you do, (y/n)?”

 

You shrugged. “Who knows. Maybe some of your slacks will find their way into my whites.”

 

Her smile fell slightly and she chuckled. She started to respond, but the smirk on your face gave her pause and she sat back, doubtful. “You wouldn’t dare.”

 

You shrugged again.

 

She canted her head, narrowing her eyes with that impish grin. “Oh, that’s a nasty move.”

 

“Not as nasty as a friend that’s gone ‘til past 2 AM and doesn’t call,” you mentioned offhandedly before taking and chewing a bit of toast.

 

The cheer left the room, and you could almost hear Lani deflate. “…I…”

 

You swallowed and looked up at her. She resembled a child being scolded. Seeing her like that made you uncomfortable, but you didn’t relent, you couldn’t. You kept your voice calm as you continued. “I was really worried about you. I didn’t know if something had happened, if you had run away, what.”

 

Lani’s head snapped up, offense crossing her features. “Why would I run away?”

 

“I don’t know, Lani! Maybe your family got too close and spooked you, how would I know?” You leaned forward, more aggressive than you meant to be and hissing. “And you wanna know the real shit thing? I can’t even call the police to look for you because you don’t really exist.”

 

Lani blinked at you, taken aback.

 

“You could be dead in a gutter somewhere, or worse, and I would never know. No one would. I have no picture, no real name or social to give anyone, and even if I did I wouldn’t because it would chance your family finding out; so even if you __were__  found and returned home safely, we’d have a whole other problem to deal with.”

 

She clenched her jaw, shoulders squaring in that proud way she had about her.

 

You drained the venom from your tone. “I couldn’t bear that, Lani… Please, don’t do that again.”

 

You slid a hand across the table, palm up for hers. She fixed her eyes on it as though afraid it would bite her.

 

“Please; promise me. Don’t go anywhere I can’t follow you. At least until you leave for Norway…” You dropped your eyes at that thought, and you felt your heart wrench.

 

“Why worry yourself over when and where I come and go? I return home safely each day, do I not?” Her tone was rhetorical, dismissive.

 

“Because I lo-!” You stopped yourself just in time and sighed heavily. “Because I care about you; a lot, okay?”

 

You could feel her eyes narrowing at you, could almost hear her lips pursing. Fear gripped you. You’d done it now, you’d crossed that line. You hadn’t said it, but Lani wasn’t stupid; she knew what you meant, how you felt. The seconds ticked by like years of agony. Exposed and feeling foolish, you drew your hand back.

 

Lani caught you, grasping your forearm with a strength you didn’t know she had. You returned her hold in kind and dared to glance at her again. The look in her eyes; you didn’t recognize it as she stood and pulled you to your feet. Clasped arms crossed between you, she pulled you into a one-armed hug that you mirrored, and she pressed your forehead into her shoulder.

 

“It was not my intention to cause you concern,” she said quietly, the apology was in her voice.

 

“Then promise me, please.” You tightened your grip, pleading.

 

She was quiet for a moment, then tightened her hold as well.

 

“You have my word.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why sections I have italicized in formatting are not displaying that way in the published version. Please assume anything withing single quotes are meant to be italic as thoughts.

****(Loki’s POV)** **

Why? Why did Loki say that? What possessed her to make a vow to (y/n)?! If anyone in the Nine knew the binding power of such things, it was Loki; so why?

 

‘ _ _Have I truly fallen so far from grace? I should know better than this. I__ ** _ ** _do_**_** _ _know better than this! Attachments are weaknesses, they will serve only to confine me! It nearly killed me the last time I gave in; so why can I not stop myself now? Why do I concern myself so over her words? Why does the very thought of her thrill me?’__

 

‘ _ _Because she loves you,’__ a kindly voice whispered in the back of her mind.

 

Loki knew it was not real, but the words lingered nevertheless. ‘ _ _No,’__  she thought, ‘ _ _(y/n) loves Lani, not I; not Loki.’__  A familiar misery gripped her. By her own design, Loki was once more in the shadow of someone else. She scowled at her reflection as she combed her hair, torn. She knew her current plan was optimal, but the opportunity to have even a little more time with (y/n) was tempting. It mattered not that her love was for a lie, that doing so would agonize them both, or that the goddess was being egregiously selfish.

 

 _ _‘It is her folly for allowing herself to develop an attachment despite!’__  Loki thought halfheartedly. A walk; that would clear her head. (Y/n) was still at work, so she locked the door behind her before taking to the sidewalks. She knew them well enough by now to avoid tripping on the gaping breaks in concrete and asphalt, knew which turn to take based on the fade of the missing persons’ posters on the various poles, the state of the abandoned cars she passed, and the shattered designs of the empty shop windows.

 

‘ _ _It is her own fault if this pains her,’__  Loki continued to think, trying to place as much blame at (y/n)’s feet as she could. The goddess knew it was a defense mechanism; she was simply hiding from her own feelings. These “necessary evils” usually came second-nature to her as means to her ends, such as when she attempted to hand Thor over to the Grandmaster on Sakaar. __‘The reward truly would have set me up nicely for quite some time…’__  she thought bitterly. With Thor out of the way, Loki could have fashioned herself as the lone savior when she arrived with the ship she intended to steal anyway to extract the Asgardians. Thor did manage to give Loki a bit of advice that day, however. She had grown complacent with the success of her designs, and had not realized she had become predictable.

 

 _ _‘The same old tricks bare the same bitter fruits,’__  she considered. __‘Perhaps even the oaf can have a moment of clarity now and again. Perhaps…a bit of change, something different, would do me good.’__  Loki smiled. ‘ _ _And (y/n) has mentioned several times how she would enjoy a vacation outside her home country. Her continued insight would be useful, certainly I would be foolish to deny myself such an advantage.’__

 

Despite the practicality of her plan, Loki knew it was all a ploy to keep in her friend’s company a while longer. So long as she did not say as much, however, it would not be known. So long as it was unknown, Loki would not need to bear the weight of such sentiment.

 

She decided.

 

When (y/n) returned home that day, Loki had sketched out a rough itinerary for Norway on a pad of paper for her to review. The mortal scrutinized it for a moment before turned a confused eye to Loki.

 

“I… I’m not quite sure what this is supposed to mean, Lani. Are you taking someone with you? Why is there a return trip on here?”

 

“I thought, perhaps, it would be reckless to, as you say, leap without looking. It is one thing to view an image, something completely different to walk the halls of an abode. And you have mentioned many a time how you long to visit somewhere other than this country, especially with all the long hours you have been forced to work. Perhaps a vacation is in order for you.”

 

(Y/n) simply blinked, slowly taking in Loki’s meaning. “A vacation; with…you?” Loki nodded. “To Norway?”

 

Loki smiled. “I have already calculated the additional costs and determined the prime travelling season.”

 

The other woman laughed. “Um, yea, I see that here. I usually spend the Snap Day holiday with my family…” she trailed off when she saw Loki’s saddened expression. “…But I think enjoying the festivities elsewhere might be good all around.”

 

Loki lit up again. “It is agreed, then? You will come with me?”

 

(Y/n) sighed and threw up her arms. “Fuck it, why not? Let’s visit Norway!”

 

Loki could see the pain slithering beneath the surface of (y/n)’s contrived gallantry, but chose to ignore it. She was a rational woman of great fortitude, surely this trip would be a simple enough thing for her to brush off.

 

***

 _ _‘You’re being stupid, you’re being selfish, you’re being childish; knock it off,’__  you told yourself in the mirror every morning leading up to the trip to Norway. __‘This is to help out Lani, as a friend and nothing else. She’s already gone, so just let it go!’__  

 

But you couldn’t, not when she was every day in your head, in your house, bringing delight and security at every turn. Before, it had been a simple construction of wires and drywall and rooms, a place to survive the hardships of a world rent asunder by the whims of an other-worldly being. In no time at all, Lani made such a place a real home, reminiscent of the times before.

 

The thought of letting her go was acid in your veins; but so, too, was the abhorrent desire to hold her prisoner here. The strings of your heart were tightropes, and you had no idea which way you were going to fall.

 

***

Loki had not considered that mortal air travel was little better than packing one of those cans of “fish” and hurling it at its destination. She was grateful to (y/n) for purchasing seats in the “First Class” section, but the extra space and comfort did little to alleviate her anxiety. Loki rather enjoyed flying, but only if she or another competent pilot was in control. When they finally landed in Oslo, (Y/n)’s wrist and forearm had bruises with Loki’s fingerprints.

 

“I still can’t believe you’ve never been on an airplane before, Lani,” (y/n) laughed.

 

“Nothing so unwieldy,” Loki clarified. “At least, not where I was not piloting.”

 

“Yet another of your hidden talents.”

 

As she had traveled more often, Loki followed (y/n)'s lead through the airport navigating the multilingual signs, managing their rental car, and finally taking them to their temporary residence. (Y/n) had insisted on surprising Loki with it, and at first, she was not terribly impressed, even if it was a preferable cabin-style home. Space, however, was limited compared to what either woman was used to, not even half the size of (y/n)’s family cabin with all the amenities crammed inside.

 

“Air BnB for the win, I suppose…” She tried to joke, and Loki gave her a humorless side glance.

 

Both of them were already feeling cramped, a sensation exacerbated by the stale film on their skin from the long trip. (Y/n) insisted they stay awake until sundown, despite their fatigue, to counteract something she called "jet lag". Loki was too exhausted to argue and took her shower first. After nearly a full day in a metal tube, she felt disgusting. When she finished, she discovered (y/n) had prepared a plate of sliced fruits and tea for them in the small kitchen. Loki helped herself and gave in to her curiosity while (y/n) took her turn in the bathroom.

 

While the living space was hardly fit for a servant, Loki understood why (y/n) had chosen this place when she explored the exterior. A small table and a pair of chairs sat on the narrow veranda, further down was an open shower and steps leading down to a band of green and wildflowers. Beyond was the rocky lake shore. To the left and right of theirs were similar abodes. Gazing out over the view, Loki was struck by its beauty. Fertile and snow-capped mountains rose gently on either side and in the distance where the vast lake disappeared. The sky was clear and open, unobstructed by mortal trappings or forest canopy. The scents and sounds of the city Loki had grown used to were absent, allowing her whole being to give a sigh of relief as she took it in.

__

__‘Odin was right,’__ she thought, ‘ _ _this is home.’__  

 

(Y/n) quietly joined her at the lakeside once she, too, was clean and dressed with tea in hand.

 

“This time of year, the day-night cycle is fairly even. The days will grow longer here soon and there won’t be nighttime. I thought you’d want to see it while there was still darkness.”

 

“And why is that?” Loki glanced at her.

 

(Y/n) just smiled. “You’ll see if you stay up with me.”

 

Loki decided to indulge her.

 

The weather and temperature in Oslo was similar to (y/n)’s home this time of year, but the lake made it cool and moist. They pulled blankets and spread them on a flat section of rock at the edge of the lake, lounging comfortably as they watched the wisps of cloud glide lazily across the blue and other visitors bustle about their own cabins or dive into the water. A few swam over to the reclining women, all blonde hair and blue eyes, fascinated by the visitors. They attempted conversation in a language (y/n) didn’t recognize, but Loki did. ‘ _ _It is very near to Old Asgardian. I should not be surprised.’__ (Y/n) simply accepted yet another of her companion’s hidden skills.

 

The day quickly waned and the air grew cold. (Y/n) pulled another blanket for them to huddle under. Loki followed her motion to the darkening sky, and they both watched as it filled with a sea of stars. Loki couldn't help but be reminded of the view she once had from her balcony on Asgard. Once again, she found herself struck by nostalgia, and she almost looked away too soon. It began as a flicker and then bloomed in great serpentine ribbons across the sky. Greens, purples, blues, and reds bled like watercolors, fading and repainting themselves as soon as Loki had the chance to truly appreciate their designs. The sky reflected in the water, and it reminded her of the Bifrost. Homesickness pricked at her.

 

****(Your POV)** **

It was bittersweet, watching Lani stare in awe at the Northern Lights. She watched the sky and you watched her, the rainbow designs shimmering in her eyes and making it all the more exquisite. You etched this moment in your memory, trying to capture every fleeting detail. You knew that, all too soon, this would be the only part of her you had. You felt your eyes burn and you dropped them to the lake surface, leaning back on your hands. As much as you wanted, you couldn’t bear to watch her anymore.

 

‘ _ _What the hell did I think was going to happen, coming here with her?’__  you scolded yourself and tried to shove your selfish attachment into a deep, dark place where you wouldn’t feel it; at least, for a while. You were doing well, started breathing freely again, and then Lani chose to recline as well. Her fingers laid across yours as she leaned on her hand. You bit your lip until you tasted blood, fighting down every sentiment that tried to boil back to the surface. Your body betrayed you, though, and your fingers slipped to lace with hers.

 

__‘Well…_ _ __Fuck…’_ _ __

 

Just as you thought you would break, Lani’s head began to droop, and you were thankful for the distraction. You felt the exhaustion clawing at you as well. You sent her inside while you cleaned up, letting the solitude clear your head. By the time you bedded down, she was already asleep, and you happily followed suit soon. You were proud of yourself, though. You’d made it through day one without incident.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: This chapter is Fem/Fem lemon after Loki's dream. If that isn't your thing, then skip after that part.)

****(Your POV)** **

Lani seemed to be walking on clouds as you navigated the strange country to examine her prospective homes. Something about this place resonated perfectly with her, and she easily communicated in both English and Norwegian with the locals. Seeing this made you realize quickly that she belonged here; not in (y/c), not with you. Strangely, it gave you the strength to continue your happy facade.

 

For the second time that day, Lani scrunched her nose as she closed her car door, crossing another home off her list.

 

“What was wrong with this one?” you asked.

 

“The common room windows face east,” she stated, as though it should have been obvious.

 

“And that is a problem…why? You can always put up curtains…”

 

She scoffed. “It is the bedroom that should face east, my friend, to greet the sun each morn.”

 

You quirked a brow. “You do remember that the day-night cycle here is not as stable as it is back in (y/city), right? I don’t think such a minor detail will wind up mattering all that much.”

 

Lani gave you a condescending look. “I thought we were looking at homes to suit __me__.”

 

You just laughed at her haughtiness. “Alright, alright, it’s no good. Where to next?”

 

The next two homes yielded similar results, but the third showed promise. You still could not quite grasp which details were most important to Lani, but were happy she had found at least one that was agreeable. There were still two more days of this, hopefully she would find another so she could feel she had a real choice. You looked ahead to the homes scheduled for tomorrow as she conversed with the realtor in Norwegian, and were vaguely aware they were glancing at you here and there while the realtor was on the phone. The impish grin on Lani’s face when she motioned that it was time to leave made you suspicious. In the safety of the car, you scrutinized her.

 

“Does that smile mean this one is still up for consideration?” you ventured.

 

She hummed an affirmative at you in a way that hinted there was more to it than that. “Perhaps that is enough monotony for one day.” She turned her small notebook for you to see, pointing at an address you didn’t recognize. “This shouldn’t be too far from where we are lodging.”

 

You rose a brow as you typed it into your phone’s navigation. It was the only 5-star restaurant in Oslo that had managed to stay in business.

 

“It’s not too far, no,” you said cautiously. “…Lani, what did you do?”

 

She feigned innocence. “I merely took the initiative to ensure we had somewhere comfortable to spend tomorrow evening.”

 

It dawned on you. Lani avoided phones whenever she could, she must have convinced the realtor to make the reservations for her, thus, the phone call.

 

“That’s…um…very kind of you, but I didn’t bring anything that fancy for this trip, did you? And I refuse to show up there in what passes as business casual back home.”

 

She dismissed your concern with a wave. “There is an apparel shop within walking distance of where we took lunch earlier.”

 

“And how exactly are you going to pay for clothing that expensive? You spent nearly all your money on your half of this trip.”

 

She smiled sweetly at you, batting those long, dark lashes. Your momentary irritation at her presumption melted. You knew you had the savings to cover both the dinner and the clothes, but it was more than you had planned on spending this trip. Still, you couldn’t find a good reason to deny her. ‘ _ _And I wouldn’t mind having a nice dinner with a friend on such an anniversary. I wonder if she booked it for Snap Day intentionally.’__

 

You two were the only customers at the shop when you arrived. The attendants were ecstatic to see you, and you politely urged them through body language to fawn over Lani, who reveled in the attention. While she put them to task, you examined the some-what limited stock. Without demand, there was no need for supply, so it didn’t perturb you, and you did manage to find something you liked. You winced at the price tag, but tried it on anyway.

 

The dress was equal parts elegant and simple, an off-the-shoulder Venus cut of deep blue. With a rippling hem several inches long and half-bell sleeves, it fit you perfectly, and was surprisingly comfortable. Lani made her approval of the silver brocade along the bodice well known, and sent one of the attendants to assist you with shoes and accessories.

 

You cringed more and more with each piece you accepted as reasonably necessary for the outfit, but when you saw Lani fully dressed, you all but wept, and the price tags were forgotten.  

 

She had chosen shimmering pale gold sleeveless blouse with a styled, but modest, neckline that tucked into a flowing floor-length black skirt. Crystals hung from her neck like stars and topped the clip she used to hold her dark locks back from her face. Tying it together was the long, green, sheer shrug with golden edging that clung to her shoulders and spilled down her back. You had never been religious, but in that moment you found reason to believe, for your goddess was here on Earth.

 

She took a turn about the short catwalk, beaming down at you.

 

“Will this do?”

 

You could only nod and hand your card over to the cashier.

 

Back at your lodging, you both hung your finery with upmost care. Lani insisted on laying out again to watch the lights, but you excused yourself due to fatigue. While Lani enjoyed the auroras, you took a calming bath. __‘It’s not a date, it’s not a date, it is__ ** _ ** _not a date!!_**_** ’ you told yourself again and again, dunking under the water to scream it once or twice. It wasn’t, it __couldn’t__  be!! But damn if it didn’t seem like one. ‘ _ _It doesn’t help that she’s even__ ** _ ** _acting_**_** _ _like a fucking girlfriend!’__  By the time the water went cold, you had yourself convinced that Lani’s greatest pleasure was tormenting you. She knew how you felt, about her, about her leaving…

 

You shoved the thought away, knowing it would keep you awake. You drained the tub, dried, dressed, and burrowed under your blankets, intent on being asleep before Lani came inside. You focused on the comfort of a bed occupied only by you, which smelled only of you and the fabric softener. This was how your life had been since you graduated high school, and it was contented. There was no need to disturb it more than you already had. Lani was temporary, a visitor, a guest. She would soon be gone and you would be alone again. You tried to recall the bliss of your solitude to no avail. Right now, you just couldn’t.

 

The next day was tainted by the anticipation of your dinner with Lani. Anything that ate up time was fine by you, so long as it meant you saw the houses Lani wished to see before calling it quits for the day. You had several hours left before the reservation when she finally did, and she insisted you both visit the salon to have yourselves made up properly for the evening. The suggestion was just another thorn in your heart.

 

You chuckled, trying to remain pleasant. “Lani, I admire your enthusiasm, but, we’ve already spent enough money on tonight, and…” ‘ _ _And it’s not a date, so why bother going so far?’__  You shook your head. “Doesn’t it seem a little excessive?”

 

Empathy lined her face. “Perhaps, but this day is no less significant simply because we are vacationing. I know it is usually spent with your family, and you have been generous enough to instead assist me. If the stories you’ve told of those you have lost, and those that remain, hold true, then you would honor them both by taking the rare opportunity to polish yourself to the finest on such a night.”

 

You wanted to curse her silver tongue…but you knew she was right. You checked your savings account with a heavy sigh. This time when you relented, there was no sense of victory from Lani. You got the feeling what she said had come from the heart, and considered that, perhaps, this was also an excuse for her to honor those she had lost.

 

“Have anywhere in mind?” you asked.

 

“Actually, I do.”

 

You made a quick stop to pick up your outfits for the evening before heading to the salon. Your time there was a blur as you focused on keeping centered. Between the usual heartbreak of today and your feelings for and about Lani, you were an exposed wire. Hair, face, nails, make-up, Lani insisted on everything. When she passed from one station to the next, she took a moment to squeeze your hand or shoulder, almost as though she could sense your need for comfort. You chose not to question it, accepting the strength for what it was.

 

Once everything was complete and paid for, the beauticians allowed you to dress in one of the back rooms. You couldn’t understand their words of adulation, but read it in their expressions and tones. To be honest, it felt nice. Lani’s dark hair was curled back to dance along her shoulders, and you had your (y/hair style). As you gazed at yourself and Lani standing side-by-side, you felt almost ethereal. There was no way this was real…or perhaps you had simply forgotten how pretty you were when you chose to polish up even a little, let alone to this extent.

 

“You look lovely, my friend,” Lani said earnestly, slipping her arm around your waist in a careful embrace. Her touch was, again, comforting, her words flattering, and you blushed.

 

“As you do.”

 

It felt somehow right and proper with the two of you like this, cheered, glowing, and together. It lasted only for a breath, and you let it dissolve as the both of you slipped carefully into the rental car and made your way to the restaurant. You wouldn’t entertain any further sense of comradery with her. Your heart just couldn’t take it. Lani belonged here, after all, and you belonged…

 

Well…

 

Elsewhere.

 

***

Loki could have been comprised purely of seidr for how elated she was. It was as near to her princely life on Asgard as she could achieve, and having a friend to share this familiar state with pleased her. __‘All I am missing is my horned helm,’__  she giggled to herself. She led the way after the waitress to their table, seating herself as light as a feather and relaxing into her autocratic nature. (Y/n)’s manners and posture were not as refined or exact as Loki’s but she did not fault her companion; after all, she had been raised a commoner. That she made the attempt to raise herself above and emulate her betters was enough for the goddess. ‘ _ _She is still superior to the vermin on this planet,’__  she thought, smiling at (y/n) and gesturing permissively at the bread and butter between them.

 

“I took the liberty of requesting a wine to be let to breathe for us. I do hope it is to your liking,” Loki mentioned, and her companion nodded. “It has an under taste of chocolate, I am told.”

 

“Your taste is more refined than mine, I’m sure I’ll enjoy whichever you chose.”

 

As though on que, the waitress returned with water and said wine, pouring a sample for each lady. Loki considered it on her palette and found herself pleased, but (y/n) took a moment longer to decide. Loki’s smile faded just so.

 

“Is it not to your liking?”

 

She shook her head slightly. “I like it just fine, only I am not finding any of the chocolate you mentioned.”

 

Loki motioned and the waitress showed her the label. It was the correct bottle. She frowned just slightly.

 

“What do you taste, then?”

 

(Y/n) smiled, reminiscent. “Clove.”

 

“…Will it do?” Loki asked, unsure. In the moment, she did not worry for why (y/n)’s approval was of concern.

 

(Y/n) nodded decisively, and Loki gestured once more to the waitress, who poured their glasses and left the bottle in the ice bucket nearby. They were each silent for a short time as they glanced over the limited menu, and Loki began conversation once their orders were placed.

 

“I think I will quite enjoy living here.”

 

“Anywhere is nice when someone else is footing the bill,” (y/n) teased before sipping her wine.

 

Loki chuckled. “Your contributions are well noted and appreciated, but I assure you they have not factored into my opinion of the place.”

 

(Y/n) hummed, not quite convinced, but she let it pass. “Do you have a preference of any of the homes we’ve looked at so far? Keep in mind, there are two more scheduled tomorrow.”

 

Loki took up a bit of bread and eased a thin layer of butter over it. “I was quite taken by the one that overlooks the harbor, but it was the same one whose common room windows faced eastward.”

 

“The one near the park had bedroom windows facing east, like you want.”

 

“True, but I found something about the architecture displeasing. I preferred the grander space of the home just beyond the markets.”

 

“The one that was three times the cost?”

 

“Was it? I hadn’t noticed,” Loki shrugged lightly, as though it was of no consequence.

 

She examined the spread of butter for a moment and noticed (y/n) had not taken a slice for herself when Loki offered. She felt it improper that she should have the first bite, considering all (y/n) had done and would do on her behalf. She placed it on her appetizer dish and slid it toward (y/n) in offering. The mortal woman’s eyes flicked between Loki and the plate, hesitant and confused. Then she cleared her throat lightly and daintily drew the plate near, a slight blush rising across her cheeks.

 

“Thank you, Lani.”

 

Loki nodded. As they continued bantering on about housing details, Loki buttered another slice for herself and watched (y/n) pick delicately at her own. It was odd to see her struck demure, but as she seemed to be enjoying herself, Loki attributed it reverence of the day. They were quiet when the soup arrived, neither wanting it to go cold, and afterward (y/n) urged Loki to consider future employment in Oslo.

 

“It is more expensive here than back in (y/city), Lani, especially if you insist on having your fish fresh. A job similar to what you have now may not be enough.”

 

Loki sipped her wine, unperturbed. “It is an issue I will see to in good time.” She hoped it would force the subject to pass, but (y/n) continued to all but stare her down. “My friend, why concern yourself with such a small detail? I will see to it. You know I am more than capable.”

 

“Yes, you are, it’s one of the reasons we get along so well; but, you are also over-confidant at times and can overlook important details where these things are concerned.” She glanced down at her dwindling bit of bread, plucking another piece of crust off. “This seems to be where you want to be, and you’ve been happy here so far, so I don’t want to see you set up for failure.”

 

Loki slowly canted her head, considering the woman across the table. When she poised herself, most especially in her sumptuous attire and disposition, she appeared to be a creature misplaced. The princess thought for the briefest moment that (y/n) was better suited to the ranks of the wise matriarchy Loki had been raised by, not the plebeians on this slum of a world. It was pure coincidence, she was certain, but Loki wondered nevertheless.

 

“Tell me, (y/n), why did you choose this specific dress for tonight?”

 

(Y/n) blinked, blindsided by the non sequitur. After a moment, she touched a hand gently to the brocade of her bodice. “My parents…” She shook her head and began again. “It’s the color scheme of my family coat of arms. I thought if there were any colors I should wear tonight, it should be these. It keeps them with me.” She gave Loki a kindly smile. “The hoodie I gave you to wear the night I found you was blue and light gray. I bought it for a similar reason.”

 

Loki tried to think back, but could not for the life of her recall any such detail about the ragged thing (y/n) had thrust upon her. She felt no shame in that, but noted the significance of the parallel, and the symbolism. She set her arm just so, lightly resting her chin on a finger.

 

“Tell me about them.” Surely there was something of note or interest about the sires of the creature that had managed to enthrall someone like herself.

 

Her companion laughed. “They weren’t much anything of note. Parents just like any others, you know?”

 

Loki smirked impishly. “While modesty wears well on you, I highly doubt __your__  parents were as common place as you say.”

  

(Y/n) took another sip of her wine to delay. As though answering a silent plea, the waitress appeared with their main course to provide distraction. Loki’s dish was fine, but (y/n) poked at hers a bit, looking unsatisfied. The waitress tarried expectantly.

 

“Is something wrong?” Loki asked.

 

“No no, I suppose I misread the menu. I thought this came with capers, not olives.”

 

She attempted to dissuade Loki to no avail. The princess would endure not a single imperfection this night. A simple exchange in Norwegian, and the waitress swept the dish away, looking quite embarrassed.

 

“Lani, what did you say to that poor woman?” (Y/n) asked, nearly mortified. “I can live without capers and eat around the olives. It isn’t like I’m allergic to them.”

 

“That is not what she thinks.”

 

(Y/n)’s amusement shined through her vexation, and she hid her face behind her hand until she regained her composure. Her corrected dish came quickly enough, and Loki approved it only when she was certain (y/n) was satisfied. She attempted to speak, but her words failed her. Finally, she sighed.

 

“Thank you, Lani.”

 

“You are welcome, (y/n).”  


	13. Chapter 13

Over dessert, (y/n) found it within herself to grant Loki’s earlier request. She told her about her father, the nurse, her mother, the artisan, and how they had built the cabin (y/n) and her family visited every year. Loki gestured for her to continue, if she wished, and so she did.

 

“They passed away before The Snap,” she mentioned, answering Loki’s unspoken curiosity. “Hazards of my father’s job, I suppose. They both were quarantined before I caught whatever it was, and I…never saw them again.” She wore a smile even now, finding cheer somewhere in her memory of them. “I think…they would be proud of me, were they alive today. At the very least, mother would be glad I haven’t fallen victim to some radical new virus like she and father did.”

 

Loki chuckled along with (y/n), but it was sympathetic, not humored. The waitress came and cleared away their dishes, and Loki propped her chin up on her hands, hoping to turn the mood.

 

“You haven’t asked anything of me yet…” she offered.

 

(Y/n) drew a deep breath, considering her words, and Loki could almost see the anguish slither beneath her skin again. “Mmm… I’m not really one to pry. If there is something you would like to tell me, though, I am happy to hear it.”

 

The goddess knew she was lying, but an announcement from the maitre D’ prevented her from confronting her friend. (Y/n) waited for the man to stop speaking before looking to Loki for a translation.  

 

“We are invited onto the deck to view the fireworks memorial, and are encouraged to take a glass of champagne along the way.”

 

“That’s kind of them. Shall we, then?”

 

They accepted the invitation, spirits as well, and (y/n) snaked them expertly through the crowd to an empty place along the banister so they would have a clear view. The cool night air was refreshing, and they waited only a short time before the show began.

 

First, a rainbow of colors without designs lit the sky. As it burned and faded, the crowd gave a toast, and Loki followed (y/n)’s lead to join them. When the sky darkened again, the next round began, and Loki urged her companion to share a half-embrace, one arm of each around the others’ shoulders. Themed patterns and colors danced, symbolic likenesses of the fallen Avengers and their allies. In a well-practiced intonation, (y/n) named each one.

 

“Doctor Strange…Winter Soldier…Prince Loki-” The sound of her true name, especially from (y/n)’s lips, send shivers down her spine. The princess laid her head against (y/n)’s shoulder, and she responded by tightening her embrace. “Spider-Man…Scarlet Witch…King T’Challa…”

 

On and on the fireworks flew, above and beyond what either visiting woman could recognize. The natives knew what they meant, however. Many began to weep, others drained their flutes and absconded. One by one they filtered away until only Loki and her companion remained. (Y/n) sniffled, and Loki tightened her embrace in support.

 

“They aren’t truly gone,” she offered, and (y/n) nodded as though to say she understood.

 

To her own horror, Loki considered revealing the truth then and there. The words came so close as to well in her chest, and she wanted to scream __“I yet live!”__ so someone, anyone, would know Loki of Asgard still graced this universe. She swallowed the impulse and words down like the bile they were. Letting them free would ruin everything! Where had Loki’s discipline gone? __‘It is not the world I wish to know, but (y/n). Only her, at the very least her; but…why? How has such a thing come to matter to me?’__  Before Loki could be tempted again, (y/n) spoke.

 

“I can’t believe it’s been a year…”

 

Loki made a questioning sound.

 

"Since I found you; it'll be a year tomorrow. I guess you were lucky. You could have wandered any which way, yet you came toward our cabin. I still can't figure out how you knew where to go. That forest is a maze."

 

Loki smiled. “A more superstitious person might call it ‘fate’.”

 

(Y/n) laughed, and Loki felt her sneak a soft kiss atop her head. Loki hid the resulting blush by leading (y/n) back inside.

 

The bill awaited them on their table, which (y/n) handled. A short drive later and they were delivered safely to their temporary homestead. (Y/n) could not seem to stop yawning, so Loki allowed her to ready for sleep first. While she waited, Loki collected one of the blankets they had used outside previously and spread it on the grass near the veranda steps. She was not yet ready to retire, even if her friend was. When she was able, Loki readied for bed as well, bade (y/n) pleasant dreams, and went to lounge beneath the stars. Here, she allowed her mind to wander as the thrill of the evening slowly faded.

 

Where was Asgard now in that great expanse? Where were her people? What would her place be when she returned? Had Thor chosen to take the throne permanently? If not, who now was the ruler of Asgard? She reached out with her inner senses and felt the pulse of what would become her home. There was indeed magic here, and the tingling in her veins filled Loki with glee. Surely, this meant at least a few drops of her seidr were returning to her, at last! She could not form it at will yet, but it did not dampen her hopes.

 

‘ _ _The rest will come once I have settled here for a time, I’m sure of it,’__  she thought to herself, and she entertained ideas of all she would do with it until sleep claimed her.

 

\-----

__Loki’s dreams were myriad and chaotic. Among them, a coherent vision; or was it a memory? Above and separate from his body, Loki watched._ _

__

__His body below floated on the currents of the cosmos, gliding down, down, down toward the roots of Yggdrasil where the river that led to Hel waited to carry him away. The golden threads of fate tangled about him, halting his descent. They crossed and coiled, forming a web, and he twisted his body around to begin climbing. With each grasp and each step, glittering seidr dripped and gushed from his veins and fell to feed the World Tree. He could live again, but there would be a price…_ _

__

__He glanced to each branching realm and found the splinters of where Asgard once was. Jotunheim was within his reach, as were Vanaheim and Alfheim if he so wished. He could live a relatively comfortable and normal life on any of those, but he was known unkindly in each. Loki could feel the malicious gaze of beings beyond comprehension searching for him still; felt the cold grasp of Hel lapping at his heels and threatening to drag him down to that other world._ _

__

__Anywhere else, and he would be found... Life once more, but a half-life; was it worth all he had endured, all he would sacrifice, to breathe the clean air once again?_ _

__

__The Son of Frigga chose his fate, and grasped the branch of Midgard. He screamed as his magic was ripped away, root and twig, leaving no hollow behind. He felt Frigga smiling upon him, felt her threads guiding him into the forest where he awoke. She had seen, she had known, and now the golden goddess willed him here._ _

\-----

 

Loki snapped awake on her blanket, momentarily confused. Her clothes were damp and her skin chilled; how long had she been asleep? Slowly, the meaning of her dream-Memory? Vision?-sank in, and she felt suddenly brittle.

 

Her magic was full and truly gone, and it would never return…

 

She wrapped her arms around herself as she sat up, afraid her form would crumble without the support. She flexed her hands, heartbroken that she still felt the absence of seidr, but only because she had once known its sweet warmth. Whatever the tingling she felt before falling asleep had been, it was not her magic. She cast her gaze to the sky, searching for something, anything that might tell her she was mistaken. The stars seemed to judge her for attempting to circumvent the terms of her celestial accord.

 

 _ _‘Is this mother’s doing, then?’__  she wondered. It would explain both of her dreams. She did not doubt the possibility despite the queen’s deceased state. Loki knew Frigga had been much more than her mother and queen of Asgard. Frigga was a proper witch, a weaver and seer of fate itself, with power and magics beyond anything Loki had yet accomplished. She could cast visions to where and whenever she desired, and Frigga knew all that was to come when she chose to know.

 

“Did you look forward into my future?” Loki whispered, pleading though she knew there would be no answer. “Is that why I am here? Is that why (y/n) found me? Frigga, mother, what did you see? What have you done? What did you see!?”

 

The stars above continued to glint in a silent, berating chorus. Loki could not escape this. Seidr had been Frigga’s first gift to her daughter, and this new life in exchange was the last. What Loki made of it would be her choice, though, and she already knew the first thing she needed to do. She laughed wryly as she let everything slip from her grasp; Thor, Odin, Laufey, Asgard; even dear Frigga.

 

‘ _ _None of it matters anymore, not now. I will find my own way as I always have. I will have to learn to live without magic.’__

 

Loki of Midgard rose and gathered her blanket, finally retreating inside. She trembled not from the cold, but from the sensation of her reality once more shattering at her feet. She felt embryonic, anchor-less, and she shamelessly sought out the last remaining safety and comfort she knew. Mumbling something about the cold, Loki slid into (y/n)’s bed and folded into her welcoming arms. At long last, she allowed her tears to fall. She knew her friend would not question her if she noticed. Everyone wept on this day.

 

(Y/n)’s alarm sounded in the morning, waking them both. After silencing it, she rose to leave the bed. Loki caught her by the wrist and held her fast before she could. While the sun had risen full and bright, to Loki the world was everdark in the shade of her mundane fate. She was not yet ready to face such a world, but neither could she bear solitude.

 

“What’s wrong?” (y/n) asked with a touch of concern.

 

“...I…” was all Loki could manage. How could she ever hope to explain, even in a twisted truth?

 

(Y/n) laid down again without another word, seeming to understand Loki’s anguish. She held the once-goddess firm in wordless comfort, and tucked her head under her chin.

 

“I’ve got you, it’s okay…Shhh….”

 

Loki, Lani, they were both the same in her mind at this point. Earth was Loki's home now, where she would spend the rest of her long years. Seidr would not atone her, for that was the price of her return to the realm of the living. Thor would not see or hear, and thus would not come to whisk her away to whatever Asgard had become; nor did she want him to now. She was powerless here, but she was also hidden, safe.

 

She was aware of (y/n)’s hand running along her back in soothing strokes only when it ceased, and her friend spoke softly.

 

“If we are going to make our appointment on time, we need to get up here soon. There are only two houses to look at today, so it shouldn’t take long.”

 

Loki unfolded slowly from her companion’s embrace and rose to her feet to ready herself. She passed through the motions, nibbled a bit of breakfast, and forced a pleasant mask for the realtors. It was easy to find disqualifying details in both homes, and by lunch they were finished with the core purpose of this vacation trip. Over lunch, her companion finally spoke up concerning Loki’s demeanor.

 

“You seem out of sorts today. Is… Is this normal for you on this day, or is something else going on?”

 

Loki nodded a bit. “It is a difficult day, as usual.”

 

(Y/n) nodded in return, immediately granting Loki emotional distance. At her companion’s suggestion, they spent their unexpected free time at the botanical gardens, admiring the significantly smaller, but still well-tended, foliage. Loki followed the path behind (y/n), hands clasped properly at the small of her back as she examined each bloom. It was a calming experience, and by the end of it Loki felt a touch more enthused about life.

 

“I overheard one of the families inside discussing the Viking Ship Museum. Cliche, I know, but perhaps there is time yet?” Loki asked.

 

(Y/n) checked her watch and frowned. “Unfortunately not. We have enough time to pack and relax a bit at the cabin before we need to be in bed. We have an early flight tomorrow, remember?”

 

 _ _‘Ah, yes, I must return to (y/city) for a time.’__  So comfortable was she in Oslo that Loki had nearly forgotten she could not stay. With little fanfare, the ladies returned to their abode, packed, and settled in for bed.

 

“I’m sorry if this last day feels wasted,” (y/n) said as she pulled her blankets up.

 

Loki waved away her concern. “We accomplished what we came to do. I can explore what else interests me when I settle here.”

 

(Y/n) went stiff, smiling against the sadness so clearly written in the rest of her form. She bade Loki ‘good night’ and settled on her side, back to her. It was a simple, meaningless gesture, but the once-goddess found it…uncomfortable. It spoke of a distance and disregard that put her on edge. She did her best to brush it from her mind as she, too, attempted to force slumber.

 

Two days later, Loki and (y/n) were returned to their shared (y/city) home and dragging about it in an attempt to adjust their waking times again.

 

They returned quickly to their routines, and Loki found her companion no less amenable than before. While the matters of materialism were seen to as always, Loki struggled with personal matters of the mind and heart. She gradually accepted fully that this realm was her permanent prison, but the thought that she would soon have to face it without (y/n) disturbed her more and more.

 

It was not long before Loki of Midgard recognized that she could not face this new existence alone lest she go mad, but it would be months more before she realized and accepted with whom she wanted to spend her foreseeable years.  

 

You.


	14. Chapter 14

Following the Oslo trip, life at home returned to normal as much as was possible. In the back of your mind, you knew every hour she worked and dollar she made was hastening Lani’s departure. You had struggled, fought, and begged yourself to be reasonable, but you could no longer ignore it. You were in love with Lani. You wanted her here with you, comfortable and happy, wrapped in your loving embrace each night and greeted each morning with her soft kisses.

 

It became more and more difficult to be around her, to hear her respond to your call each day when you returned home. In just a year and a few months she had become such a natural part of your life, gave your grind of an existence spark and a hint of meaning; and it was something you could not keep. You broke down in the parking lot of your office after work, sobbing into your steering wheel and asking it repeatedly why Lani couldn’t just stay here with you. Of course, the inanimate circle of leather and circuitry gave no answer.

 

When you were finally able to drive home, you said nothing as you kicked off your shoes and headed for your room. Lani was on the couch watching a documentary and was startled when you came around the corner.

 

“Welcome home!” she offered.

 

All you could do was wave in acknowledgement and disappear into your room. You cried again as you washed your face, staying in your bathroom until you were composed. When you emerged, you could smell that Lani had begun preparing dinner. You sat in your customary seat at the dining table, but did not watch her today. Instead you crossed your arms on the table and leaned on them for support.

 

“Was your day especially taxing again?” she asked.

 

You bit your lip, doing your best to sound normal. “Something like that, yea. I can’t seem to get the electrician to understand why we need as much wiring as the order called for. I don’t know why they’re arguing about it; more wire means longer hours means more pay.”

 

“There is no pleasing some people,” she consoled, setting a glass of juice on the table near you. A moment later, you felt her warm hand on your shoulder.

 

“Is something bothering you?” she asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

 

You couldn’t keep it inside any longer. You drew a deep breath to calm yourself, not wanting to break into tears again, and replied evenly.

 

“I don’t want you to leave.”

 

You swallowed hard as her hand fell away, leaving a patch of cold behind. Without response, she returned to the kitchen and continued preparing dinner. You kept your eyes on the table, and on your food when it came. During the evening ritual on the couch, Lani kept her legs tucked close to herself, and you kept your eyes fixed on your laptop. There was an uncomfortable something between you for the rest of the night. When you could no longer stand it, you closed your computer, mumbled a ‘good night’ and went to hide in your blankets.

 

This was not the last occurrence. The following week, something similar happened, and again the week after that, the only a few days following that one. You were crying in front of her now, begging her not to go. You didn’t give her reasons, knowing she already knew what they were. Lani knew you were her best friend, that you loved her, that she filled your life with happiness and comfort and meaning.

 

She followed you into your bedroom tonight and sat beside you. She said nothing, but her eyes spoke worlds. She was struggling, too. You grasped the sleeves of her pajamas and pulled her close. You wept wantonly into her shoulder, again begging her not to leave. She wrapped her arms around you in return. When your tears were spent and you were quiet, she finally spoke.

 

“Come with me.”

 

You must have misheard her. Sniffling, you sat up and away to look at her.

 

“What?”

 

She smiled gently. “Come with me. I saw, you were as happy there as I was, and you took to at least one of the homes I found acceptable. Surely there is something Stark Industries can put you to work on in Oslo.”

 

You frowned. “What…what about my family?”

 

“What more can you do? Your nieces are nearly out of school and have lives of their own; your cousin the same, and your aunt there is nothing you can do about or for. You know this, even as you go through the motions of standing at the ready to assist.”

 

You sniffled again as it sank in. You really had nothing tying you to this place but your sense of duty to your family and Lani. If you wanted, you could leave. You’d grown up here, though, so there was a sense of abandonment you felt at the thought of moving away, but… Lani… She spoke again, as though reading your mind.

 

“I want you with me, (y/n).”

 

You met her eyes again. Not a single part of her was contrived. She placed a hand gently on your cheek, and you could hold yourself back no longer. You pulled her close and pressed your lips to hers. The moment you waited for her to react was a moment of pure hell.

 

Then, she wrapped her arm around your neck and slid until she was sideways in your lap. You coiled your arms around her, crushing her against you. Her lips parted, and you immediately dominated her mouth. She made a pleased sound and leaned to push you back.

 

You growled. You would have none of that.

 

In a single motion, you slipped your free arm under her knees, twisted and pinned her beneath you. She blinked up at you for a moment, either unsure or surprised. It didn’t matter which. Hunger lit in those green eyes, and her hands were in your hair, pulling you back down for a ravenous kiss.

 

You lost track of what was where as you each growled and clawed and shoved and pulled, hearts pounding as tussled. Bright red ribbons appeared across your bodies, and you could restrain yourself no longer. You grasped the band of her pajama slacks and questioned her wordlessly. Her answer was equally wordless, but unmistakably agreeing.

 

You pulled, peeling her out of her pants..

 

Good god, you could smell her wetness, and it was the sweetest thing you had ever known. The human animal at your core howled with victory. Finally, FINALLY, you had Lani in your bed, biting her lip with anticipation as those green eyes watched you dip your head to kiss the inside of her knee. Every touch, every word since you two had returned from Norway conveyed her feelings. She trusted you, depended on you, wanted you. You didn't care if you ended up leaving with her or having to watch her disappear; this moment was all that mattered. To have her, to taste her, to feel her.

 

You ran your fingers along her thighs, skin smooth. You crawled onto the bed over her, and she walked herself back to the pillows. Now you both had room to move. You crushed your lips against hers, accepted her tongue and nipped back, then down to the apex between her thighs.

 

__'Green panties; why am I not surprised?’_ _

 

Lani had no hesitation, no shame. She grabbed your hair and dragged you back up to claim your mouth again, her fingers slithering like serpents up your shirt and along the buttons. A quick shrug and the shirt was gone. Her fingers crept along your collarbone and down your chest to trace the curve of your bra. You shrugged out of that as well and Lani tossed it away. The chilled air of your room made your nipples tighten. You groaned as her smooth fingers framed them, pinching just so.

 

You grabbed her hips, thumbs digging into the dip just inside the bone. Lani broke the kiss and arched against you, moaning sweetly and grasping your breast with her fingers.

 

You walked your fingers softly up along her belly, swirling around her navel and along the curve of her ribcage. Her breathing quickened. You didn't bother trying to unfasten the buttons of her pajama shirt, pushing it up over her head to hold her arms hostage. As she struggled with it, you dove down to nuzzle your face between her legs.

 

Lani gasped your name, still struggling as your tongue ran up and down the narrow cloth, pressing at her apex to seek out her clit. Apparently, you found it. Lani bucked against you, and you wrapped you arms and hands around her thighs to hold them open and keep her still as you nudged her panties out of the way. Her fingers were in your hair again, grasping, directing. You dipped your tongue at her slick folds, curling the tip up into her hood and over her clit.

 

Holy fuck, the sound she made! You teased her a bit more like this until she mewled with a desperation that matched your own.

 

"(Y/n), please!! Torture me no more!!" she cried.

 

You sat up just long enough to rip her panties off, leaving her dripping core exposed. Even her lower lips were beautiful, molded by Aphrodite herself. Again holding her thighs apart, you dove. You found her clit easily, wrapping your lips and flicking your tongue back and forth in a slow rhythm. She had begged for no more torture, but you were far from done with this woman that had caused you so much pain, panic, frustration, and pleasure. You fingers dug into her legs as they trembled, desperately trying to close around your head as she writhed, but you wouldn't let them.

 

You left her clit for now, running your tongue down along her lips. Her wetness was like nectar, and you couldn't stop yourself from plunging your tongue deep within her folds like a starving bee. You felt her nails along your shoulders, around your neck, her hips rocking against your rhythm. Her cries pleas echoed but you paid them no mind as you supped. Only when you felt her walls clench around your tongue did you pull away.

 

You gazed down at her as you wiped her wet off your cheeks. Her face was flushed, eyes glinting with delight as you both quickly shed your remaining clothing and you dove again, this time to claim her mouth. Her body was so fucking warm against yours, breasts heaving as she suffocated on your kiss and fingertips mapping every swell and dip of your form. You took a nipple between your teeth, flicking your tongue along the bud as you ran your fingers down her belly to her core. She was still dripping wet and offered little resistance as you slid a finger inside.

 

Lani clawed at your headboard, her murmurs incoherent. In and out, slow and even. Then, another finger. You really feel her tightness now. You pressed your thumb against her clit and ran circles over it as you curled your fingers firmly against her walls. Her core was so hot you thought your fingers would melt, but her sobs of pleasure drove you on. You added another finger, sliding all three in a little, then pulling them back out. You pushed them in a bit further, then pulled them back out. As you pushed them back in again, Lani bucked, driving your fingers deep within her with a hungry groan that rumbled deep in her chest.

 

She rocked her hips as you pumped your fingers. You ducked to wrap your lips around one of her buds, suckling sweetly. Her breathing hitched; she gasped for air. You felt her convulse and arch, fingers again tangling in your hair as she finally screamed your name.

 

You waited patiently for her to relax before removing your fingers, sitting up on your knees so she could watch you lap her cum from them. The look on her face... you wanted to see it every single night for the rest of your life.

 

It didn't take long for Lani to catch her breath. The tables turned immediately, and she lunged up at you. You gave in to her kiss neither noticing nor caring as she rolled you onto your back, straddling you. It was your breath hitching this time as she ran circles around your hardened nipples. She kissed and nipped between your breasts, up to your collar bone and along your neck. Finally she took your lips in hers, fingertips pinching your buds. Then, you felt her teeth sink into your neck, a possessive snarl vibrating as she forced a leg between yours.

 

You were drunk on her scent, her sounds, her touch. The world blurred together, your sweating bodies tangling, grinding, clawing, biting. Somewhere in the haze, you thought you heard her growl in your ear; "mine". The last thing you could remember before submitting to exhaustion was Lani clinging to you, nuzzling under your jaw and placing tender kisses as she, too, melted into sweet bliss.  

 

****\-----------** **

Your life became a romance novel.

 

You returned home every day, called to Lani, and she appeared to welcome you sweetly. On the days she worked and you were at home, it was you that responded to her call, drawing her close and showing her how you'd missed her. She slept in your bed now, tucked against your chest in a protective grasp. She seemed somehow freed. Lovemaking and other, smaller, bits of affection were exchanged more often; fingers trailing along shoulders as one of you passed the other, a quick kiss of the hair, a momentary linking of fingers. She never spoke the words themselves, but you could feel that Lani loved you as you loved her.

 

‘ _ _Every now and then, though, she feels so distant and contrived. There is a sadness to her like a piece of her heart is elsewhere…'__  You shook the doubt away. She loved you; witty, mischievous, dangerously beautiful Lani __loved__  you. Despite your fears, you chose to have faith in her. She had not in the past and did not now prove herself to be undeserving of it, so, you held to it tightly. Knowing Lani was at your side gave you strength and confidence, a spark of greater ambition, and a razor edge you never knew you were capable of. Surely, these things would be impossible were she were at all insincere.

 

The months passed quickly in this way. Your savings account recovered from the Norway trip and swelled to a sizable amount, and you had the all-important conversation with your family to let them know what you were about. To your great surprise, they encouraged you. When you told them about Lani, they congratulated you for finally allowing yourself to love again.

 

While you were financially track for an international move, you had yet to do anything about employment in Oslo. You'd kept your ear to the ground for any opportunity you could take advantage of, and eventually came up golden. The Stark Industries CEO would be visiting (y/city) in a few weeks to inspect the finished building downtown you'd been working on. The news came on the day you and Lani had planned for your semi-regular date nights, and as you two prepared, you shared your plan with her.

 

“When he shows, he’ll want to see the blueprints and installation plans we used. That’ll be my chance to catch his attention and bend his ear, or at the very least get a word in with his assistant.”

 

Lani wore a twisted expression. “I’ve heard Stark can be disagreeable at the best of times. You will have better luck with that assistant, I think.”

 

You chuckled. “Perhaps. I’ll play the field as it comes, I suppose. What do you think; suit or dress tonight?”

 

You and Lani were both comfortable in either. She tossed her slacks on your bed and pressed against you as she reached to finger through your selection. “Wear this one for me, would you?” She pushed the other clothes aside to reveal her favorite (y/dress). You were more than happy to oblige, especially since it complemented the elegant black-on-black suit and deep green tie she had chosen for tonight.

 

Lani helped with your fastenings, and you helped her with her tie, vest, and cuff links. You were both more than capable of dressing yourselves, but you each treasured these intimate moments, for they left behind the thrill of budding desire.

 

You drove, as usual, to the restaurant Lani had chosen. The staff there knew the two of you by now and greeted you by name. That was the last thing to go well, however.

 

“Ms. (Y/l/n), Ms. Hall, welcome back! Your table is prepared, and the wine is breathing. Please, this way.”

 

You offered your arm for the usual link, but tonight Lani strode ahead of you instead of at your side. It caught you off guard, but you maintained a pleasant countenance as you followed and settled into the chair the waiter pulled out for you. Lani was already in her seat, menu open.

 

“Is something on your mind?” You asked, trying to keep the disappointment out of your tone.

 

“No,” she replied with a direct and final intonation that stung..

 

You chose to keep a smile for now. Perhaps she was nervous? No, she wasn’t displaying her usual anxious tics. Had you said something to upset her? You knew her to be passive aggressive sometimes,even when her point of irritation was not you. If that had been the case, however, you would have felt her displeasure long before you arrived at the restaurant. Something had happened between the car and the entrance; but what? You hid behind your menu, brow furrowed as you tried both to ignore and to puzzle out what was eating Lani.

 

****(Loki’s POV)** **

The evening began like any other. (Y/n) came home and the women began polishing for their usual date. They bantered and jested, preened and smoothed at each other, and slipped into the vehicle to be on their way.

 

That was when Loki saw them; glimmering strands tangled between (y/n), herself, and someplace near the restaurant. How was she able to see the strands of fate; and why? Paranoia gripped Loki, and she grew suspicious of anything and anyone those strands were coiled anywhere near. She led the way to the table tonight, protectively watchful of anything amiss. She would permit nothing to harm herself or her paramour. Her eyes scrutinized the restaurant and its patrons, and she was passingly aware of (y/n) asking if her mind was occupied. How could Loki explain such a thing to her? She was not like other mortals, so Loki was confident she could understand if the time was taken to explain, but where to even begin? Again, her name fell from (y/n)’s lips, concerned.

 

Loki flicked open her menu, wishing she could explain, wishing (y/n) would understand. “No,” she answered more sharply than she intended, but those threads floating and twisting had Loki on edge.

 

Every person, every interaction was suspect. So distracted was Loki that she failed to notice how her actions pained her companion. It wasn't until they were making their way back to the car to return home that the strands faded. Internally, Loki panicked. Why had they disappeared? Had the event they were tired to already transpired? Had it not been related to Loki and (y/n) at all? For a moment, Loki breathed easily.

 

(Y/n) bit her lip as she ran her fingers along the key fob and unlocked the car. She didn't see the hooligan slip from the shadows as they opened their doors, but Loki did. She understood now. The strands had faded because the event was at hand. The aggressor was little more than a desperate street urchin, something Loki knew well how to handle. Practice overruled emotion, and she grinned as the bedraggled man clasped his hand over (y/n)'s mouth and pressed a knife to her throat.

 

“Purses and jewelry, on the ground, now!” He demanded.

 

“Oh dear, what do we have here?” Loki chuckled.

 

She strode leisurely around the vehicle and leaned on the driver’s side of the car where the man held her paramour hostage. (Y/n)’s eyes were fixed on Loki, seeking assurance, but Loki offered her none. If they were to escape this encounter safely, Loki could show no attachment, and she was confidant (y/n) would understand that in the end.

 

“I’ll cut her, I fucking swear I will!” The man pressed his knife harder against (y/n)’s throat, demanding their valuables once more, but (y/n) made not a sound. She wouldn’t let him know he had harmed her, that she was scared.

 

 _ _“Well done, my darling,’__  Loki thought with a hint of pride, ‘ _ _Hold fast. I shall end this in a moment.’__

 

Loki slid her hands leisurely into her pockets, giving the man a mocking smirk. “Is it money you’re after? I’m sorry to say our diamonds are but Swarovski crystals; hardly worth even pawning. Though if you’re desperate, I’m sure you could sell this little tart to your friends by the hour. She does scream so sweetly…”

 

Doubt flickered in (y/n)’s eyes, but Loki ignored it. She had no choice.

 

“I’ll kill her, I swear!!” (Y/n)’s eyes scrunched shut as red crept its way from the blade’s edge and slid along her defined clavicle.

 

Loki laughed. “Well, get on with it, then. You’d be doing __me__  a favor.” She felt her heart wrench as tears began falling from (y/n)’s eyes, but she convinced herself it was due to the twinge of the cut. Loki pushed off the car and crept closer. “Come now. You keep saying how you’re going to hurt her, kill her. Be a man of your word for once in your life.”

 

“S-Stay back!” The hooligan pulled (y/n) behind him and thrust the knife out protectively, more concerned with Loki than his hostage now exactly as she knew she would be.

 

Loki grimaced audibly. “Can’t do it, can you? Pathetic.” She grinned broadly, pulling her hands from her pockets as she felt madness tickle through her veins. “I don’t care what you have the gumption to do with her, but I would rather prefer the keys to the car. These shoes aren’t especially comfortable, and I do have a ways to walk home.”

 

Loki lifted a hand expectantly and the man hesitated. It was all that was needed. Loki’s heart swelled with pride as (y/n) seized her opportunity and slammed her head into the man’s face. He released her to check his wound, and she quickly moved out of his reach. Something Loki could not name screamed through every fiber of her being and she lunged, grasping the miscreant by the throat, easily taking his legs from under him, and slamming him into the asphalt in a single, smooth motion. The sickening crack of his skull pleased her, and she stamped the heel of her finely polished shoe against the man’s throat to hold him still.

 

“You never should have touched her…” Loki hissed. She flicked her wrist expectantly…but no dagger met her fingers. In her passion, she had forgotten she no longer held the power of magic, and thus her daggers were lost to her. Instead, she cracked her knuckles into a fist and shifted her full weight onto the man’s throat to intimidate him further.

 

He struggled and gasped, clawing at Loki’s slacks, and she smiled, relishing his suffering. This was his reward for daring to harm what was hers. One way or another she would send him to Hel for his sin; she had that power still, at least.

 

Fingers curled around her elbow and Loki snapped around, hand raised for a strike. It was (y/n)… Black ran down from her eyes as her tears made her eyeliner run.

 

“Lani, please… Let’s just go,” she insisted, pulling Loki toward the car, but Loki could not ignore the crimson smeared around that splendid throat of hers, nor could she so easily forgive the one that had drawn it. (Y/n) tugged again, harder this time. “Lani. Please. Now.”

 

There was that rare authority in her tone again, the one that belonged echoing from a golden throne…

 

Loki returned to reason, blinking down at the man under her foot. She canted her head, considering, and then released him.

 

“By her mercy alone, you live,” she hissed.

 

She allowed (y/n) to direct her to the vehicle, the two of them slipping inside, locking the doors, and tearing out of the parking lot. (Y/n)’s knuckles were white as she drove them home, tears still flowing down her cheeks. Loki could only seethe, glowering at the darkness beyond the headlights. It was not that (y/n) had been harmed which bothered her, but how she had grown to mean so much to Loki without her realizing.


	15. Chapter 15

 

Neither Loki nor (y/n) spoke until she parked them in the driveway and turned the machine off.

 

Silence fell. Loki watched her lover's shoulders tremble with her silent tears even as she put on a brave face and climbed out of the car. Loki followed a moment later, every clack of (y/n)'s shoes like a serrated edge against her heart. Inside, (y/n) sat on the edge of her bed, staring blankly ahead. Loki settled beside her a moment later, examining their feet. She could feel the disappointment, the fear. She reached for her lover's hand but was denied. Loki's heart wrenched again. There were two points of note this evening, and she knew which had shocked her stalwart paramour so thoroughly.

 

“(Y/n)… Please understand. My words were necessary, otherwise worse would have befallen you; or us.”

 

(Y/n)’s voice was empty. “Something you learned from your previous life, I assume?” She chuckled, deep and sardonic. “Something _ _else__ you can’t tell me?”

 

Loki winced, the accusation cutting her deep, but she could not deny its accuracy. “…Yes...”

 

(Y/n) breathed deeply for a moment, then slipped a hand between them, and Loki grasped her wrist tightly. The once-princess narrowed her eyes at the floor, unable to meet the other woman’s gaze, but still needing to explain. She couldn’t-wouldn’t-allow such a minor misunderstanding to rip from her the one thing she had come to depend on; the last thing she had in this life to value.

 

"The manner in which I reacted, it was the most efficient at that moment to ensure you remained uninjured and to bring the interaction to a favorable conclusion. The words were meaningless. They are still bitter on my tongue." (Y/n) did not respond, and Loki turned toward her just so. "Please, (y/n), __believe me__. He would have died before further harm could come to you, I swear it.”

 

Loki watched her hand lift to her throat, and she suddenly remembered that (y/n) was wounded. Loki pressed her fingers to the shallow cut, again trying to will a power that no longer resided within her.

 

‘ _ _I forgot… My seidr has is gone…’__  Of course now when she desired to employ it for another, it was missing. How ironic.

 

She could not heal her paramour, so she rose and fetched the first aid kit, kneeling before (y/n) and pleading with expression and touch to allow her to tend to her shallow wound. Lips trembling and posture as rigid as a noble, (y/n) allowed Loki to clean and bandage her as the mortal had once done.

 

Loki kissed away the fresh tears, murmuring sweetnesses. (Y/n) finally broke, clutching Loki close as she wept away her fears. Loki stood tall and solid, cradling (y/n) against her chest and burying her face in her hair.

 

“Forgive me, my love. It is alright now. You are safe here in my arms.”

 

Loki murmured these things again and again. When (Y/n) eventually grew weary from her weeping, Loki laid her comfortably in their bed, curling around her protectively.

 

“Mine,” she growled, grasping her lover as though fearing the Dokkalfar themselves would appear to steal her away. Loki smoothed (y/n)’s hair from her sleeping face, ran her knuckles along her tear-stained cheeks. “Mine.”

****

****(Your POV)** **

You woke to find Lani curled around you protectively, trapping you in her iron grip. Your face itched from the tears and old make-up, and slowly the events of the previous night came back. You lifted a hand to your throat to find bandages where the man’s blade had split your skin. At least Lani had been decent enough to tend to your wound…

 

You tried to sit up against Lani’s arm, rousing her fitfully. When she saw all was well she relaxed and smiled up at you. The expression didn’t cheer you as it once had, and you pulled away when she reached to run her knuckles against your cheek. She frowned.

 

“What is it?”

 

“I need to bathe,” you stated blandly, crawling off the bed carefully since you were still in your dress.

 

Usually, you and Lani were perfectly comfortable around each other in various states of undress, but you couldn’t bear the thought of being so exposed around her this morning. Lani called after you, but you shook your head at her. Your mind was still muddled, confusing your heart. You loved her, oh how you loved her, but last night was a slap in the face.

 

You found yourself soaking in a hot bath instead of showering as you ran through what Lani had said last night. You tried to rationalize it all, to excuse her behavior, but you couldn’t. You’d seen her be misleading before, but this had been different. You’d seen none of the tells that she’d been lying.

 

__‘I still don’t know who she really is, where she comes from, anything. I shouldn’t be upset when there are surprises, but, this is different. No one is naturally that callous and persuasive; it takes practice, and she’s had plenty, it seems. …Or…she meant every word…’_ _

 

That last thought rang in your head. You drew your legs up and hid your face in your knees, unable to hold back the audible sobs. What if she __had__ meant it all? Was her affection for you fabricated? Was she faking everything? That would mean every sweet word and act of kindness was meaningless, and she was playing you like a stage.

 

The water shifted as Lani slipped into the tub behind you, wrapping her strong, elegant arms around your shoulders. The feel of her made you forget your sense of vulnerability, and grasped her forearm, seeking assurance.

 

“Why?” you sobbed,” Why did you say those things? Even if they were lies, how could you-” You shuddered and gasped for air, distraught. “How could you even think them enough to say them?!”

 

Lani ran her fingers along your arms and legs, letting you calm again before answering. Her voice was distant, like the one you'd heard from soldiers telling their war stories or people from the early Snap Day support groups.

 

“In the life I once lived, I had to be convincing with every word and action despite my personal feelings in order to survive. How I wish you knew, so you could understand; and yet I am glad you do not. I would not desire such a life for you.”

 

You dug your fingers into her arm, trying to find something real. “Lani, who are you?” It was rhetorical, and Lani knew it. She reclined in the hot water and drew you to lay against her, head on her chest, her fingers in your hair. For once, she gave you an answer.

 

“I am Lani Hall, your beloved. Does anything else matter?”

 

“That counts for nothing if I can’t believe you.”

 

Her arm around you tightened. “You know why I keep my secrets, I have explained already.”

 

You scoffed. “To protect me, so you’ve said, but I wonder if it isn’t instead to protect yourself.” You pulled her arm away so you could sit up, twisting to face her. She was wearing an impassive expression, but you could see the anger in her eyes.

 

“You also said you couldn’t face your family after whatever it was you did. I still don’t know what that was. I don’t mind not knowing who your family is, but I need a little confidence from you in return.”

 

Lani sat up and sneered at you, whispering sharply. “You want I should pen you an autobiography? Should I include all the tantalizing details? My first love? My first folly? Every argument with my father?”

 

“What? No!” You shivered, realizing just how cold the water had gone. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

 

“ _ _What__ , then, (y/n)? What is it you want from me?”

 

Somehow, the water went even colder, your fingers turning blue, and you turned away to pull the plug and drain the tub. Lani stood and wrapped a towel around herself before stepping out. You remained sitting, watching the water swirl down the drain.

 

“I just want a little faith in return, Lani. I want to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you trust me as I do you, that I can depend on you. I need to know that this last year and a half hasn’t all been a game…”

 

Lani said nothing as she left.

 

You managed to shower, dry, and dress without crying again. Your head was pounding, so you took a couple of pain killers, filling your empty belly with all the water you had wept away. You found Lani seated imperiously at the kitchen table. The chair opposite her was pulled out and a mug of coffee was set out next to a plate of toast, presumably for you. She didn't look at you, but commanded you to sit with a gesture. You slipped into the chair and crossed your legs, wrapping your fingers around the cup to absorb its warmth.

 

Lani stared hard at you for a long time and you stared right back, sipping your coffee as you waited. Finally, she sighed heavily and looked away.

 

“It began twelve years ago…”

 

You listened intently as Lani explained.

 

“My brother and I have always fought, as siblings do, and where the family inheritance was concerned, it was no different.”

 

“You have siblings?”

 

“Had, yes, a brother. We will call him ‘Tait’ for the purpose of telling a tale.”

 

‘ _ _That name even sounds bitter; Lani must not care much for her brother,’__ you thought.

 

“Tait and I had a particularly violent row that day involving our father. To ease my own mind and allow things to calm more quickly, I went elsewhere for a time. When I returned, I found Tait had moved his girlfriend at the time into our home.” Lani sneered. “Not so disagreeable in its own right, but she had recently stolen an item of great value. Tait knew this. In fact, his true intent was to shield her from discovery and repercussion behind our walls. This was not discovered for quite some time, either by ourselves or the people she had stolen from. When they did find out, Tait and I were away from home. We could do nothing when they came to recover what was theirs. Unfortunately, our mother had taken a liking to the woman, and so tried to protect her.”

 

Lani licked her lips and rose gracefully to pace, hands clasped behind her.

 

You set your coffee on the table as you understood what Lani would not say. “She didn’t make it out, did she; your mother?”

 

The lines on her face told of Lani’s lingering heartache, and she paused to take a deep, calming breath before continuing.

 

“She was avenged, in the end, but the cost was great. In doing so, we attracted the attention of a rather influential man. He decided what my family possessed and was capable of should be his. We, of course, disagreed. As I reflect on those events, I see now that the years following were little more than Tait and I squabbling amongst ourselves in an attempt to gain father’s favor. We cared little for safety of our family then. That fact cost us our father as well, this time, by my failure.”

 

She ran her fingers along the edge of the table as she passed by. “This would be the case once more when I attempted to assassinate our adversary. Tait succeeded in his own attempt, and in the resulting chaos, I…” She paused, searching for the word. “…I absconded.”

 

Lani reclaimed her seat across from you and met your gaze. “To the best of my knowledge, I am presumed dead, and I prefer to keep it that way. In the end, you were correct: I am indeed running away.”

 

Her face was pained, her shoulders tensed as though expecting you to yell at her. You sat for another moment, letting the weight of all she said settle. You saw none of her deceptive tells, but neither had you last night. What you did see that made you believe her was the war within herself that showed any time she was being painfully honest. You tapped your fingers against the table slowly as your words formed. Out of everything you now wanted to know, you had only one question that really mattered.

 

“Lani,” you said pointedly, “are you from the __mafia__?”

 

She pursed her lips, and you understood her answer in the silence and sighed.

 

“Oh my god…” You set your elbows on the table and pressed your face into your hands, suddenly nauseous. “Oh my god, I’m dating a goddamned mafia princess… What will they do if they find you?”

 

She hesitated. “I do not know.”

 

This was insane! But everything fell into place. It made too much sense now, and you knew you hadn’t been crazy all this time! Lani flinched when you started to laugh. You laughed until you cried, then sat back to catch your breath.

 

“Are you quite alright, (y/n)?”

 

You could only nod. Your stomach and sides hurt from laughing, your head was pounding again from dehydration and crying. You thumbed your temple, hoping to stem some of the pressure and pain.

 

“Do you understand now? Why I- why we have to leave? Why I have hidden so much?”

 

You sighed. “Yes; and I believe you.”

 

Relief washed over Lani, and she rose to embrace you where you sat so tightly that you thought she would crush you. You held her tight as she nuzzled your hair, sniffling. You didn’t know how long the two of you remained like that, but your stomachs eventually demanded attention. You both chuckled when the mood broke, and Lani slipped back out of your arms.

 

“I’ll make breakfast today,” she said. She set a knuckle under your chin, tilting your face up for a soft kiss before stepping away. Not wanting to dampen her relief, you did not point out how she had already made you toast and coffee, which was breakfast enough.

 

You turned in your chair to watch her dance around the kitchen, your brain chewing through everything she had told you and what you now needed to do. If your beloved was avoiding the mafia, you knew it would be best if the two of you moved sooner rather than later.

 

Ensuring your name was all over the installation project downtown turned out to be the best move you could have made. When the CEO of Stark Industries arrived for the inspection, __she__  was not what you had expected. Young, short, and spunky; and last you had heard, the CEO was a man. It filled you with pride and awe to watch a fellow woman dominate that rank. Despite her age, she was brilliant, and she quickly caught on that you were the driving force behind the efficiency of the project.

 

“I got a few other constructions I think you could make shine.”

 

You laughed, deciding to take a gamble. “Anything in Norway, by chance?”

 

She smirked. “Yea, actually. We’ve been on it for a while, and now we need swiss army knives to bring it home; like you”

 

“I’m not sure I understand?”

 

“I looked at your skill set already; you got a bit of everything, and you’re good at what you know. That’s useful.”

 

“…You’re… you’re serious, aren’t you? You really think I would be good on the Norway project?”

 

She crossed her arms, and you finally took noticed of the soft glow coming from under her shirt. “Do I look like I joke?” she sassed.

 

"N-no ma'am, I just wasn't expecting it! I’d be happy to get started whenever you like."

 

“That’s what I like to hear! I’ll have Happy shoot you the details.”

 

You weren’t sure who this “Happy” was, but you weren’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. “I look forward to it. Thank you, Ms. Williams.”

 

It wasn't even dinnertime when you received the e-mail containing the information Ms. Williams promised, and you took the time to read it over while Lani cooked.

There was a massive constructional undertaking Williams was gathering talent for somewhere between Bergen on the sea and Oslo. The foundation was complete, but they needed a variety of skill sets to complete the rest; electricians, infotech specialists, metallurgists, and chemists just to name a few. Stark would cover 75% of the relocation costs and provide an additional stipend for the first three months. You read and re-read the details to ensure you hadn’t misunderstood.

 

Lani slid an arm around you when she came to read over your shoulder.

 

“Something interesting?” she asked.

 

You motioned at the e-mail and waited for her to read it through.

 

“This looks a little too good to be true, (y/n),” she cautioned.

 

You shook your head. “I’m not going to argue with the CEO of Stark Industries. If she want to pay for everything, so be it. Less strain on us.”

 

Lani blinked. “’She’? I thought Tony Stark was CEO.”

 

“He retired a bit ago, both as CEO and as Iron Man. Riri Williams took over both positions.”

 

Lani was quiet for a moment before returning to the kitchen. “Interesting…”

 

There was a distance in her voice you couldn’t quite place, almost as though she had known the Iron Man personally. It wasn’t important, though, so you didn’t ask. You understood now that Lani’s secrets were secrets for a reason, and you trusted her to keep only those that were necessary.


	16. Chapter 16

 

The following weeks were strained as the two of you began packing for your move. You continued to work, brought home the usual groceries and now packing supplies, and spent your evenings and weekends picking through your belongings and tucking them away. You took the opportunity to par down, finally getting rid of things you’d meant to toss out years ago and donating what you no longer wanted or needed.

 

Lani kept busy as well. You didn’t question how she was able to afford and acquire a fully established new identity as Lani Hall, including all the required documentation. It was official now, though, Lani existed in more than just name and a questionable passport. She overcame her aversion to phones enough to take charge of selecting your new home and arranging for someone to secure inside the boxes you would send ahead of yourselves.

 

While it was a sensible plan, it ended up being problematic and causing a fair bit of tension. It was too easy to mistake which box was meant to stay a bit longer and which was ready to be mailed, whether they were taped shut or not. You were already on the edge of panic if you couldn’t find something you needed, but now there was the uncertainty of if it was lost or just sent off.

 

“We can make do,” Lani would try to calm you.

 

“That isn’t the point, love. I keep losing track of stuff and it’s driving me up a wall!”

 

“They’re just things, (y/n). They can be replaced easily.”

 

“Maybe, but they’re _my_  things, and I’d like to keep the ones I can.”

 

Lani sniggered and rolled her eyes. “Your attachment to material items has always bordered on maudlin, darling. They’re just tools, nothing unique or irreplaceable.”

 

“Like you would know,” you snapped, but regretted it immediately when you saw her lips purse. She knew it was a stab at her previous lifestyle. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t fair.”

 

She turned away without a word and busied herself again with packing. You sighed and followed her, not wanting to let this fester as the two of you sometimes did.

 

“Lani, dearest, I’m sorry. I know this is stressful for you, too. You just handle it differently.”

 

She didn’t respond to you, continuing to wrap delicate items in packing paper and tuck them into her box on the floor. You knelt behind her, running the back of a finger along her spine. She harrumphed and you tried again.

 

“La---ni---…” you sang her name, and you saw a corner of her lips perk up, even as she turned away again. You slid your arms around her waist, nuzzling into her neck and decorating it with tender kisses. “Forgive me?”

 

She gave an exaggerated sigh. “I suppose I have to. You’ll starve if I don’t feed you.”

 

“I could always just eat you,” you cooed in her ear, and you could feel the shiver run through her.

 

“Do not tease, darling.”

 

“Alright, alright, I won’t,” you said, but nipped her shoulder lightly before pulling away to return to your own task.

 

Lani had other plans for you, twisting and lunging to pin you by your shoulders as gracefully as a panther.

 

“I said: Don’t. Tease,” she purred.

 

You grinned up at her, slipping your fingertips along her arms. “I’m not.”

 

Whatever intentions either of you had for the rest of the evening were forgotten, and Lani took full advantage of your need to earn her absolution.

 

**(Loki’s POV)**

The cycle of argue-beseech-atone continued until Loki and (y/n) left (y/city). Loki was no more pleased than before to be once again crammed into a rickety metal tube and flung across the ocean. She was glad, however, that this was the last time she would need to endure it. Additionally, (Y/n) had struck a deal with someone at the company before leaving concerning her vehicle. In exchange for donating hers for use in her home country, Stark would furnish her with one in Norway. This was the vehicle she loaded their baggage into and used to drive them to their new home.

 

Once they left the main roadway, the countryside took over quickly and gave the illusion of being further from the city than they were. Trees sprouted up around them, flanking other homesteads like the one they had chosen. Just beyond the tree line, it stood waiting for them. (Y/n) pulled them into the driveway and sighed with relief before stepping out to stretch.

 

“I don’t know if I can get used to everything being reversed,” she moaned, popping her back as Loki came around to stand beside her.

 

She slid an arm around her lover’s hips, and they grinned as they stepped inside to take in their new home. Loki had specifically chosen this one for the space and location. It was removed enough to be peaceful, but not so far as to complicate (y/n)’s travelling for work. Multiple bedrooms and an open common area ensured they would not feel cramped as they had during their vacation and meant they could each have a private room for their personal designs. The rear sported a covered patio that gazed out over the verdant landscape with a clear view of the sky and a beaten path that led to a small lake nearby.

 

It was as close to perfect as Loki could manage without commissioning the design herself. She watched (y/n)’s reaction as she examined each detail, shifting boxes around and adjusting furniture here and there.

 

“It’s even better than I thought it would be.” She smiled at Loki, who beamed with pride.

 

“I knew you would like it,” she shimmied into her lover’s arms and set a kiss on her neck. “Welcome home.”

 

(Y/n) did not have to report to her new manager for another three days, so she and Loki used that time to hastily arrange their personal items, toss up trinkets and decorations, and stock their pantry. They explored the area around their home, were introduced to their neighbors, and timed the walk along the gravel road to the nearest essential markets on the edge of town. They found a quaint little coffee shop and bakery and took a rest. As Loki sighed with pleasure, (y/n) pushed around her pastry.

 

“I can hear your mind working, my dear,” Loki prodded.

 

“You always can,” she smiled, still hesitant.

 

Loki nudged her treat out of reach so she could no longer distract herself. “What is it?”

 

“It’s a little embarrassing, but…I have a favor to ask of you,” she mumbled, sheepish.

 

“And that would be?”

 

“Could…um… Would you mind teaching me Norwegian? I know a few words, but I’d like to be fluent if I can.”

 

Loki blinked, then laughed. “That is your embarrassing request?”

 

“You don’t have to laugh at me for it,” she sniffed.

 

Loki shook her head. “I simply find it ridiculous that you would consider such a request in any way shameful.” She nudged the pastry back within her darling’s reach. “Det ville være en fornøyelse.”

 

(Y/n) gave her a questioning look. “And that means…?”

 

“It means ‘It would be my pleasure’.”

 

**(Your POV)**

For the first few months, you were assigned to report to the Oslo office for training and other such adjustments. Looking over the details of your new position, you were pleasantly surprised to find just how much your life had changed. ‘ _If this is my new salary, stipend aside, Lani won’t have to worry about working! She’ll be so relieved._ ’ Your new manager was similarly surprised when you were able to exchange morning pleasantries in the Norwegian Lani had taught you.

 

“I like you already,” he chuckled in English with a heavy accent before passing you off to the human resources team.

 

The anecdote amused Lani when you told her over dinner, and she muttered something else in Norwegian in response.

 

“You can’t use phrases you haven’t taught me yet!” you protested.

 

She giggled. “How else will you learn?”

 

“The same way a child does? A bit at a time, in context, and with practice?” you offered.

 

Lani waved a hand, relenting. “Alright, alright, have it your way. I will be kind with you.”

 

Something in the way she continued with her food told you she was going to be anything but. ‘ _What have I signed up for?’_ you cringed. For the following months, Lani drilled you relentlessly at home not only in polite conversation, but practical phrases. When you struggled, she patiently walked you through word by word, and you got the feeling she was enjoying your dependence on her for a change immensely.

 

All too soon, your indoctrination phase was over. Your comfortable routine was completely upended as your schedule changed to one of travel. You were going to spend one-to-two weeks at the site as needed, then return home for a work-free week. This disturbed you less than it did Lani, who did not at all fancy the idea of your being away for so long.

 

“If you would get a cellphone already, we could catch up easily every few days,” you offered. “Besides, that’d be the easiest way to continue our language lessons.”

 

Lani scrunched her nose at the idea and scoffed; then sighed. “Fine, but I refuse to participate in the superfluous ritual of the ‘selfie’.”

 

“Deal.”

 

When Lani did finally decided, she had settled on a flip-style phone. She argued that its durability, concealability, and lack of extraneous features made it ideal. You couldn’t argue her points and were just happy you were able to purchase and activate it before you left for your first stay at the work site. When it was time to leave, Lani bade you a loving ‘farewell’.

 

“Ha en trygg tur, min kjaere,” she said. “Have a safe trip, my dear.”

 

“I’ll be home before you know it.”

 

She stood at the door as you slid into your car and made your way down the gravel road. You watched her wave once more in the rearview mirror before retreating inside, and you settled in for the 200 mile drive out to the Middle-of-Nowhere, Norway.

 

**(Loki’s POV)**

Loki glanced around her now empty home but was not saddened. (Y/n) would return soon enough, and in the meantime, Loki could relish a bit of freedom. While she greatly enjoyed (y/n)’s company, having her around nigh endlessly made Loki feel as though her life was being put to record. For the former Goddess of Mischief, it was not a comfortable sensation.

 

As the weather was agreeable, Loki shrugged into a coat, pocketed a bit of currency, and set out on the mile-and-a-half walk into town. As she followed the streets and sidewalks, she took note of crevices, corners, dead ends, and alley ways. A fence here meant a possible trap, a loose plank there meant an easy escape route. Her trickster mindset was returning.

 

‘ _It will not be as much fun without magic, but I’m sure I could still play a worthwhile ruse or two,’_  she thought jovially.

 

She pulled her coat more tightly around herself, finding a chill had crept into her skin. Odd for this time of year, but not unheard of; perhaps it was due to the breeze?

 

A familiar sound caught her attention further down the way, and she followed it to one of the many empty storefronts. Unlike the other shops, the building from which the sound was coming had no windows, only a door. Loki listened at it for a moment before trying the handle; unlocked. It squeaked as she eased it open, glancing around before stepping inside.

 

Whatever this place had been before, there was nothing left to indicate. Instead, colored tape had been laid down to draw a large square on the wood floor. Outside the square stood a small handful of people; inside there were two. The sound that had drawn Loki here came from the pair as they danced, foils whipping between them as each attempted to best the other.

 

‘ _This seems a place Fandral would have enjoyed,’_  she thought. Those not engaged spared Loki a glance, but she waited politely near the doorway until the fencers had completed their round. Panting, they removed their protective epee masks.

 

“Hello, there,” one of them offered.

 

Loki nodded in return and approached. “I apologize for intruding, but I could not resist.”

 

“Do you fence?” another asked.

 

Loki eyed the foils and smiled politely. “Only when necessary.”

 

A foil was offered to her, and she was welcomed to take a turn within the square. ‘ _I suppose a quick spar could do no harm,’_  she reasoned.

 

She shrugged out of her coat, claimed a foil and mask, and made herself ready. While the fencers decided amongst themselves who would step in with her, Loki reacquainted herself with the feel of this blade. It was a far cry from her preferred daggers, but she found the sensation of a weapon in hand again pleasing, nevertheless.

 

Her opponent presented themselves, and they exchanged the proper gestures before setting. While her mind could hardly recall the finer points of plying a foil or saber, decades of practice meant her body remembered the dance. Light as a feather on her toes, Loki effortlessly maneuvered around her opponent, parrying, feinting, and striking with ease. Her points were gained quickly enough, earning her victory and the admiration of this band of wayward swordsmen.

 

“You have skill,” her opponent observed, gracefully accepting his defeat. “Perhaps you could teach us a thing or two, if you have the time.”

 

Loki all but purred. “While I would be delighted to do so, you should not so easily dismiss your own skill.”

 

So simple was it to charm these plebeians that Loki almost considered feeling guilty. …Almost… They invited her to return in a few days, when they would meet again, and Loki accepted. It was something she enjoyed that could fill the time when (y/n) was away and once Loki had tired of her other interests.

 

On her trip home, Loki found herself beset by a neighbor’s plea for assistance. She was an elderly woman who had lost her eldest daughter and youngest nephew in The Snap, whom usually assisted her in the planting, tending, and harvesting of her personal gardens and grove. While Loki wanted little more at that time than to return home and enjoy a hot bath, she knew all too well the utility of maintaining at the very least neutral relationships with one’s neighbors. For this reason, she spared her attention and time for this woman.

 

With her strong back and deft hands, she plucked weeds and inspected blooms, eased water into the roots, and piled a few sacks of grain in a shed. By coincidence, Loki’s patience was spent just as the woman ran out of chores with which to besiege her.

 

“I thank you, young lady. Feel free to come back any time. When the harvest arrives, I’ll be glad to share the spoils,” the hag said as Loki pleasantly excused herself.

 

‘ _While tedious, such a resource could be useful. I may have to suffer her requests in exchange,’_  Loki thought as she made her way home.

 

By the end of the first month, Loki was beginning to understand the Midgardian adage that ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’. She had not been separated from (y/n) for so long, and she was beginning to starkly note her absence. An all too familiar sensation returned to the once-princess of Asgard: loneliness.

 

When (y/n) returned again, Loki was elated and hardly allowed the woman out of her sight during her week-long sabbath. To Loki’s delight, (y/n) appeared to have missed her equally as much and was not bothered by Loki’s constant presence. It was childish and smacked of paranoia, but Loki knew there was little (y/n) or any other mortal could do to truly harm her. As such, she permitted herself to revel uninhibited in the forlorn longing and euphoria of companionship and…dare she say it…unbridled and genuine love.

 

‘ _It is only for a few decades, anyway. There is no harm in this indulgence.’_

 

Even as Loki assuaged herself with this thought, knowing that (y/n) would one day grow old and return to the dirt while she herself remained exactly as she was for centuries to come plagued her in the darkest recesses of her mind.

 

But there was nothing she could do…


	17. Chapter 17

 

 

**(Loki’s POV)**

Life fell into a happy rhythm between Loki and (y/n), despite her work schedule. Loki continued to attend the fencer’s she’d stumbled across, became known fondly in town, and further endeared herself to the neighbors. Things were peaceful, predictable, and it made Loki nervous. She could not keep from wondering if and where a storm was brewing, waiting to descend. She couldn’t have guessed that said storm would come from within herself.

 

Loki had been correct to think living in Norway would allow her power to regenerate, however it was not the power she desired. Instead of the seidr she no longer possessed, it was aspects of her Jotun origin which she had discovered years ago and immediately shunned. She felt its chill more often now but refused to acknowledge it. As the weeks passed it grew stronger until even (y/n) took notice of its effects.

 

It was during one of her lover’s weeks at home. They were lounged in the common room, (y/n) drawing nameless shapes along Loki’s back as she read aloud to her from a book in Norwegian. She slipped her hand under Loki’s shirt to run her nails along her skin and paused, then pressed her hand fully against Loki’s skin.

 

“Darling?” Loki at (y/n), whose brow was furrowed with concern.

 

She pressed her searing hot hand against Loki’s skin in several places along her back, then her neck, cheek, and forehead.

 

“Lani, honey, you’re freezing. Are you alright?”

 

In truth, Loki had not noticed the chill in her skin until it was contrasted by (y/n)’s heat and was quite comfortable.

 

“I am well.”

 

She was not convinced. “Are you sure you aren’t falling ill?”

 

“Kjaere, I assure you; I have never been healthier.” Knowing she would not let it be, Loki fetched the wool throw from the arm of the couch, returned to (y/n), and spread it over the both. “Better?”

 

(Y/n) wrapped herself around Loki to share as much of her warmth as she could. “For now.”

 

Still uneasy, (y/n) returned to reading. She took a moment here and there through the rest of the week to test Loki’s skin again, proclaiming there was no change.

 

“Have some soup or something, would you? Or take a hot bath. If your skin is this cold, I can only imagine your core is frigid; and if it’s lasted for this long, you probably have a bug. You need to keep warm”

 

Loki rolled her eyes. “There is no need. I told you, I am fine.”

 

(Y/n) pursed her lips just so, and Loki knew she would not yield. “Fine, I will soak; but you will prepare lunch in my stead.”

 

(Y/n) nodded, and Loki went to make good on their agreement. She tied up her hair and eased into the steaming water once the tub was full. ‘Such a silly little companion I have,’ she thought with a smile, ‘always fretting about this or that senseless thing.’ In the corner of her mind, though, Loki knew it was not a senseless concern. She examined her hands, searching for any hint of a blue tinge or a darkening of her nails. ‘Presuming this minor chill is indeed caused by my Jotun blood, is that blood strong enough to cause a change? It required the touch of another frost giant and the Casket of Ancient Winters to draw it out before… But at that time, I was still possessed of my seidr.’

 

Loki slipped a dry foot into the water, expecting to relish its heat, but found it had gone tepid. She tensed. ‘It has not been long enough for the water to go cold…’ Examining her skin again, she found no indication that her appearance had changed. For how long would that hold true, though? Was it her magic that had contained the nature of her parentage? If so, then why was this coming through only now, nearly three years after its loss?

 

‘Perhaps…it is because they were not permitted to mature. Even creatures born of fire do not exhibit traits in their infant years; they must develop. Is this similar? Am…Am I…?’

 

Loki pulled her knees up to her chest as the fear gripped her. If she was growing into her Jotun nature, it would not be long before she could no longer hide it from (y/n). Already she was exhibiting minor traits she could not control or conceal. Perhaps it was best if, for now, her beloved thought her indeed ill.

 

‘She is leaving again tomorrow afternoon. I can manage to fool her for that long.’

 

Loki would not enjoy lying to (y/n), but she loathed the alternative more. She extracted herself from the frigid water, dried and dressed, and wrapped herself in a fluffy robe, clutching herself and she made her way to the kitchen looking worn. (Y/n) took a single glance at her, then clicked her tongue.

 

“I knew it… Oh, baby, I am so sorry if I brought this home from work.” Loki let her kiss the top of her head. “If you want to go lay down, I can bring lunch in on a tray when it’s ready.”

 

“I think that would be best, thank you,” Loki sounded a touch breathless to sell the ruse.

 

She shed the robe and laid up in their bed, focusing with all her might to subdue her inner chill before (y/n) saw to her. This effort truly did exhaust her, and she did not need to pretend for her beloved when she arrived, as promised, with a tray of soup, bread, and cheese. She worried at her lip, smoothing and tucking the blankets around Loki in a way that reminded her of a mother bird.

 

“I am not yet dying, Kjaere, you need not bother yourself so much.”

 

(Y/n) pointed a butter knife at Loki in mock threat. “My beloved has fallen ill on the eve of my leaving for another two weeks. You don’t have to enjoy it, but you will permit me to fuss over you for my own peace of mind,” she commanded in her rare authoritative tone.

 

Loki could only laugh.

 

The following day, (Y/n) made a point to feed and set Loki up comfortably before leaving.

 

“Are you certain you wouldn’t rather I stay home? I’m sure I could work something out for a few days…”

 

“Your concern is appreciated, but I am well capable of tending to my own affliction.”

 

(Y/n) set a kiss on Loki’s forehead. “Alright, I’ll trust you. But call me if something changes.”

 

“I will.”

 

Loki listened from their bed as (y/n) gathered her things, locked the door behind her, and made her way down the gravel drive. Once Loki was certain she was well and gone, she peeled herself from the bed and stretched. She had only two weeks to figure out what was becoming of her as well as how to handle whatever it was.

 

‘I do not think there is an external trigger,’ she considered, releasing her hold on the chill at her core. It gripped her tightly and reached out toward her limbs and neck, farther than she had felt it before. She set herself comfortably on the lounge chair in her personal room, laced her hands to rest along her waist, and focused.

 

Time flowed without notice.

 

She cast her mind inward, carefully feeling every dip and swell and crease of her body. Even without the aid of magic, she could all but see the creeping frost within that slithered from her very core. She tested, urging it to retreat, but it would not. She urged more insistently until it finally gave. The effort to contain it all was more than she anticipated, and she quickly exhausted herself. It was akin to her flexing some muscle she had not before used. When she was unable to continue, Loki relaxed that inner muscle, and the chill flooded through her, making her head light.

 

She took her time catching her breath and gathering her strength. When she was ready, she repeated the exercise to a similar end; and again, and again. ‘There must be another way. Containing it fully is far too taxing.’ It was well into the night when Loki rose from the lounge, stiff and weary to her bones. She would continue this tomorrow. She ate only enough to quiet her stomach before falling into her comfortable bed and giving in to slumber.

 

The following morning, she returned to her exercise. This time, she brought with her the digital thermometer (y/n) kept with the first aid kit and a note pad. She recorded the results of each of her trials, finding correlation between how far she restrained her chill and the read out on the thermometer. Through trial and error over the following week, Loki found how far she could permit her chill to spread before her temperature fell low enough to be of concern. She practiced holding herself there, even as it continued to exhaust her. (Y/n) called and messaged to check in on her every couple of days, and Loki assured her she was taking care of herself and was not in danger. Not definitively a deception, but not an unmitigated truth, either.

‘I can weather this in the time (y/n) is home, but it is not sustainable. I must find another way; else this monster will roam free.’

 

**(Your POV)**

Despite Lani’s attempts to assuage you, it was impossible to not worry about her while you were gone. The moment you knew you could break away for your week off, you did. As had become custom, you called her before heading out. Worry grew with each ring, but just as you thought she would not answer, the line picked up.

 

“Hallo, elskling, darling,” came a tired satin voice.

 

You fell into Norwegian as best you could with her.

 

“You sound tired.”

 

“I did not sleep as much as I should have.”

 

“Are you still feeling unwell?”

 

“Not enough to be of concern.”

 

You hummed, wondering what she was not telling you. “I’ll be home in a few hours. Should I pick up anything?”

 

“No, darling, thank you. Do be safe.”

 

“Alright, I’ll see you soon then. I love you.”

 

“And I you.”

 

You hung up.

 

‘She sounded so weary… It truly must be something I brought home from work,’ you thought, feeling guilty. By the time you reached Oslo, you were still feeling responsible, and so stopped to pick up a bit of medicine and fresh oranges. Home at last, you left your suitcase in the car, wanting to look after Lani before yourself. You called to her, as usual, but there was no response. You padded through the house to find her slumped against the headboard of your bed, asleep.

 

‘She must have been trying to get up to meet me. My poor, sweet girl…’

 

You set the shopping bag down and strode to her side, shaking her gently awake.

 

“Lani. Lani, honey, I’m home.”

 

Her eyes cracked open with a soft groan, and she sat up to lean against you instead. You wrapped your arms around her and kissed her hair.

 

“What am I going to do with you, oh infirm one?” You teased.

 

“Worship me,” she muttered into your shirt.

 

You laughed. “As if I don’t already.”

 

You bartered with her to set herself up on the couch for a while. While she refused the medicine, she accepted the fruit, and you let her work at the rinds herself while you changed the sheets, showered, and dressed again.

 

“I’ll look after you while I’m home, but if you aren’t feeling any better by the time I have to leave again, I want you to go see a doctor. I’m sure Karina down the way wouldn’t mind taking you.”

 

Lani made a face at you. “I will make do without the help of those blundering fools that pass for doctors, thank you.”

 

You rolled your eyes. You were certain she would change her tune if she grew worse. Unfortunately, she did. Over the course of two days, Lani developed a fever, aches, and complained of severe fatigue. You made her as comfortable as you could in the bed, ensured she ate at least a little something to keep her strength, and read to her when she asked. Still, she tried your patience by refusing the medicine. You grew anxious when her fever did not break by your fifth day home. You put your foot down then, calling up that authoritative tone that seemed to be the only way to break through her obstinacy.

 

“Lani Hall, you will take this medicine, or I will cart you off to the doctor myself, here and now.”

 

She scowled at you like a petulant child but sat herself up long enough for you to administer the liquid. Either it knocked her out or she was too exhausted to stay awake, but she was asleep not long after. While she rested, you spent your time researching her symptoms and checking for any known outbreaks, seeing to your laundry, and slowly packing again. To your relief, her fever broke the next day. She didn’t refuse the medicine this time but would not admit it had been of any help.

 

Your time off ran out, and you were forced again to leave Lani nested in the bed. She insisted she would be fine while you were away, and you made sure there was enough medicine to last her the two weeks. Until you left Oslo proper, you considered calling your manager and asking to stay home for a while longer. You had the time available and you were certain the team would be fine without you, but your respect for Lani’s autonomy stayed your hand.

 

‘She said she’ll be alright, that she wanted me to go. I have to trust her judgement.’

 

**(Loki’s POV)**

The foul orange concoction (y/n) had forced Loki to choke down helped not a whit. Releasing her chill from its prison, however, did. She cringed as it once more slithered through her veins, this time reaching all the way to her fingertips and toes. With the cold came another physical change. Loki could feel the rune-like designs rising along her skin. This signified inarguably what she was, and the recognition of that made her nauseous. She was a monster, as much so now on the outside as she had always been inside.   

 

She knew without looking what her visage would be, and so avoided mirrors and other reflective surfaces in the following days while she remained in this form. If she did not attempt to restrain the chill, Loki did not fall ill. The revelation did little to comfort her, for she knew (y/n) would eventually discover the truth. This she feared more than that of her true identity. Again, Loki was torn.

 

She continued to practice restraining her Jotun aspects in the time (y/n) was away, trying her endurance to an extreme she had not before known. Her inner frost reached further and deeper each time it was released until it consumed her. Still, something innate to Loki refused it, and the effort to contain it once more continued to test her limits. The two weeks wherein (y/n) was absent were gone before Loki realized. Again, she found herself being shaken gently awake by her paramour. There was more in her features this time than concern.

 

“Lani, darling, I love you, and I respect your stance on certain things, but if you are not recovered in three days, I am taking you to the doctor whether you like it or not.”

 

The finality in her tone gave no room for rebuttal, and so Loki simply nodded. She expended every strength she knew to keep her nature hidden, to keep her inner winter contained. Her fever returned, her body pained her from head to toe, and each breath was near agony. (Y/n) remained by her side, again urging her to consume a variety of concoctions and remedies to ease her symptoms. It must have been the second day as Loki gave in to slumber again, for she could vaguely understand (y/n) reminding her of her oath to whisk her off to a healer in the morning. Mindless, Loki nodded, focused on her struggle to maintain even the most fundamental of normal appearances. (Y/n)’s voice was like a song as she read to Loki, the Princess of Midgard curled against and clinging to her. She allowed the waking world to slip from her grasp, and some floating inclination in her addled mind prayed she would not lose hold of her winter.

 

\-------------------

 

_The soft, dew-covered grass preserved Loki’s footsteps as he ascended the slope. It was still dark, but the kiss of dawn was on the horizon. The Northern Lights danced, though it was not their season, and as Loki crested the hill, he knew immediately where he was. He strode toward the edge of the cliff, to the collection of large rocks that nearly formed a bench. He sat on the far right as he had many years ago and gazed out over the sea._

 

_Kind hands rested on his shoulders. He knew without looking whose they were. He reached up and back to lay his own over them, and he nearly sobbed when he felt them firm in his grasp._

 

_“You are so much more than you know, Loki,” the golden queen said sadly “if only you would allow yourself to be…”_

 

_She slipped to settle beside him, poised as she always was in life. Loki averted his eyes; he did not deserve to look upon her, and he could not bear her disappointment._

 

_His hands were blue._

 

_He recoiled instantly, but Frigga’s hold was stronger. His face reflected in her eyes, and he watched his Jotun designs curl along his features. A hand released and traced the curves along his cheek and chin tenderly, lovingly._

 

_“You have always only been half of yourself, my beautiful one.”_

 

_“How can you call this form beautiful?” he spat in disgust._

 

_“Because it is, was, and always shall be you: Loki, my son.”_

 

_Frigga cradled his hands in hers. Ice crystals sprouted along his palms. Loki sneered and tried to wipe them away, but she would not let him._

 

_“You cannot hide from yourself forever.”_

 

_A soft non-dietetic beeping began to sound in the distance, growing sharper with every passing moment._

 

_Frigga rose as the first rays of light crept over the horizon. He let his icy hands lay in his lap as she tilted his sapphire face up to her and placed a gentle kiss on his brow before melting into the silvery dawn._

 

_“You were born to be a king, Loki. Bear your crown with pride, grace, and wisdom.”_

 

\-----------------

 

Loki heard the beeping coming from beside her, punctuating a melody she knew well. She groaned as she cracked her eyes open and squinted against the brightness of where she was. The melody stopped.

 

“Lani?” someone asked, daring to hope.

 

“Where…?” Was all she could manage.

 

Something fell to the floor and firm hands clasped around one of hers, warm and rough.

 

“Lani! Nurse! Nurse, she’s awake!” A woman called in Norwegian.

 

The beeping quickened as Lani roused and opened her eyes. The light came from a long and tall window to her right, where the voice also originated, and the beeping sounded from a mortal contraption on her left. She barely understood the bustling around her as someone touched her face, peeled her eye open and shined a light in it, and something sharp was removed from the top of her hand.

 

“You gave us a scare, there, miss. How was Valhalla?” The chuckling voice was male.

 

Lani sat up slowly, ignoring their protests, and rubbed her eyes clear. From images she had seen in mortal media prior, she understood she was in a hospital room. (Y/n) sat at her bedside, bedraggled and eyes red. Loki answered the physician’s questions and thanked them, and they stepped out to see to another task for her. Then, she narrowed her eyes at her lover as the woman bent to retrieve the book she had dropped.

 

“Why am I here?” she demanded.

 

(Y/n) gave Loki a heartbroken look. “Because I dozed off reading to you, and when I woke up, you were as cold as a corpse and wouldn’t respond to me. I swear your skin turned blue.”

 

Loki blinked, confused, but she had little time to sift through it all at present. As fresh tears welled in (y/n)’s (y/eye color) eyes, Loki beckoned her onto the stiff bed and embraced her.

 

“I thought I had lost you…” (y/n) wailed softly.

 

Having no words, Loki gripped her tighter, placing a soft kiss on her head before burying her nose in her hair. Despite her greatest effort to ignore them, Frigga’s words continued to echo in her mind.


	18. Chapter 18

 

 

**(Loki’s POV)**

Loki was released after a few more hours and a handful of nonsensical tests. Her temperature had returned to an acceptable range, the chill within had faded, and she felt no threat of her appearance altering. This only served to concern her. ‘ _It couldn’t have simply disappeared; what happened? Where did it go? Will it flare of its own accord?’_ On the drive home, she continued to ponder as she watched the scenery pass by, one hand clasping (y/n)’s and the other tapping her nails along her lower lip.

 

“Promise me,” (y/n) said, “promise you are alright now; that I can get some sleep and not have to worry about waking up next to a corpse again?”

 

As she turned to look at (Y/n), Loki caught sight of her reflection in the side mirror. Pale skin, dark hair, bright eyes, and gaunt. She realized now just how little she had fed herself in the past month.

 

“Baby?”

 

Loki gave (y/n)’s a hand a loving squeeze. “I believe I am fully recovered now, my dear, if you will forgive my grim appearance.”

 

She chuckled. “Even if you had tusks, the skin of a pinecone, and were bubblegum pink, I would love you.”

 

Loki shifted uncomfortably.

 

Gradually, their lives returned to normal and Loki came to a general understanding of her altered existence. Once she accepted the winter within, her ailments abated. It was no longer a matter of containment now, but control. She continued to practice while (y/n) was away, and the golden queen’s words continued to echo in Loki's mind. She knew that, eventually, she would be forced to face herself and reconcile her identity. It would be at her own pace, though.

 

Loki came to master allowing her inner frost to paint its designs across her skin and then tucking it away again. She spent increasing amounts of time sapphire and exposed, wrestling with the animosity so ingrained within. She decided it was in her better interest not to delay further. As the first snows of the season kissed the ground, she fixed herself in front of the dressing mirror in the bedroom. ‘ _Frigga said there was beauty in this form. Let us see if there is any truth to that.’_ The monumental task was instead a challenge now and Loki rose to it, closing her eyes and allowing herself to change. She drew a single calming breath and snapped her eyes open, forcing herself to confront the monster within.

 

Were it not for her clothing, Loki would not have recognized her own reflection. Bile rose in the back of her throat as her very psyche revolted against what she saw. She gazed as long as she could stand before tearing herself away, fists clenched, breath heaving against her rekindled rage. She was again on Jotunheim in the grasp of a frost giant; again, grasping the Casket of Ancient Winters and screaming maledictions at the Allfather. She forced her breathing to steady and her anger to pass. Slowly, she turned herself around and returned to the mirror.

 

Loki met her own gaze and searched desperately for anything at all recognizable in her scarlet eyes. She found nothing. ‘ _There is no beauty here, only the face of the monster I have always been; the monster that I am.’_ And yet Frigga had known and loved her all the same. Even denied, the Allmother loved her son, her daughter, exactly as she was. Loki grasped her shoulders, holding herself steady against the emotions and thoughts she could not reconcile, and which threatened to tear her apart. Day after day Loki returned to the mirror to grapple. She memorized her unique Jotun designs, slowly recognized features she acknowledged as being hers, and carefully altered her self-image.

 

Then, one day, it all fit together. Loki harmonized her core truths, and she could look upon herself in either form with equal approval. A notion occurred to her. If she could shift form to and from Jotun at will, then perhaps her ability to change her shape had returned as well. She focused and strived, to no avail. She could not return to her princely form, nor take any other. The sensation was akin to pushing on the force field of her cell back on Asgard. Against the strength of Loki’s will, whatever held her bound gave but did not break. Something she could not affect held her fast as Lani. It was a bitter pill that left her morose.

 

‘ _It was too much to hope for,’_ she consoled herself. ‘ _Besides, it matters not, either to myself or my beloved. To be as I am now is enough. **I** am enough.’_

 

As the snow piled high, Loki convinced herself to exercise the power she held. In the times where (y/n) was away from home, she trekked to a secluded place in the wilds and experimented with the ice and snow. The skill came naturally to her, and in a matter of weeks she had learned to create and employ spikes, spears, pellets, crude blades, and barricades. She learned how to make the snow on the ground and in the air swirl and dance on a whim. A new arsenal was now at her disposal; no longer was Loki of Midgard mundane and insignificant! The realization thrilled her mightily and brought to mind the words Frigga had spoken in her dream. Nearly fourteen years after her failed assault on New York, Loki again considered the middle realm.

 

‘ _This power is not seidr, but it is useful in its own right,’_ she thought with a grin, spinning snowflakes between her fingers. _‘It should be more than enough for what I would need, and the mortals' governments and armies are still weak and disorganized. It would be almost too easy!’_

 

‘ _What of (y/n)?’_ another voice whispered in the back of her mind.

 

Her initial thought was that (y/n) would assist her. She was sharp, capable, and devoted to Loki; but could she convince (y/n) to help her take this world and hold it in an iron grip? Loki frowned, the thrill of her power lessening. Loki knew (y/n) would understand it was in the best interest of her kind to establish a central power to guide and provide for the scattered aimless masses, but (y/n)'s mortal principles would rebuke Loki's methods of control.

 

And, it would require Loki to expose what she was, for she would not rule in this guise...

 

She did not know how soon she could bear to reveal herself, and (y/n)'s limited years meant she would never see the glorious culmination of Loki's conquest. Loki could not condemn (y/n) to live the rest of her life in warfare; but neither could Loki bring herself to consider abandoning her. In that moment, she hated (y/n). She hated how that woman had blighted Loki with her toxic sentiments, entrapped her in the brambles of intimacy and faith, how she had made Loki weak, turned her  _soft._

 

But her enmity melted with a sigh in the face of her unconfessed penchant for (y/n). Loki could never tell her, of course. To speak those words was to swear an oath that she did not know if she could honor; and to break an oath meant... Loki shook her head. There was nothing for it. She could never tell (y/n) she loved her, but she would remain at her side until she succumbed to her mortal nature. Surely, that would be proof enough in the end; and it would provide Loki ample time to perfect her newly matured abilities and solidify her plans to claim her throne. 

Frigga was right: Loki _was_ born to rule, and by the gods, alone or no, she would.

 

**(Your POV)**

Another week came to an end and you were dismissed to return home. This cycle wore you to the bone, but there was hope on the horizon. The urgency with which everyone had been made to work meant there were perhaps only two more months before this monster of a project was completed. Most of those involved in its construction would be retained to keep it in working order, including yourself. Thankfully, the same was true of the few co-workers you had befriended: Ingrid, Blake, and Clarice. It helped that you and the ladies shared sleeping quarters and had matching schedules. Ingrid had already stripped your beds of their hotel-style sheets by the time you arrived in the living quarters to begin packing.

 

"Thanks, Ingrid!" you chirped. In return, you pulled her suitcase from the storeroom along with your own.

 

You chatted lightly in Norwegian as you each counted through your items and packed them away, both of you more than ready for your time off back home.

 

"My son Bjorn wants to go hiking. I've seen more than enough of the country out here, but..." she shrugged.

 

"But how can you say 'no'," you laughed, finishing the phrase she invariably spoke each time you packed. "Are you going to bring him to Family Day next month?"

 

"Oh, yes, of course. He's been pestering me about my 'super-secret project' for almost a year now. What about you? Are you going to bring your friend? Lani, wasn't it?"

 

You nodded. "I plan on it. I think she would enjoy the trip, and you'd like her. She's actually the one that taught me Norwegian."

 

"Ah, that would be why it sounds so natural. I still wonder where you come up with some of your antiquated phrases, though."

 

You each waved as Clarice skidded into the room, clearly in a hurry to be home as soon as possible...or at least, that was what you thought. The excitable pixie of a programmer strode right up to you, craning her neck to look you in the eye.

 

"You will ask her this week," she instructed in English.

 

Ingrid blinked between the two of you.

 

You replied to Clarice in English. "Ask who what?" Then it clicked. "Oh! You're talking about-  Yeah, um...well..." You turned back to your packing to distract yourself.

 

Clarice knew you were considering asking Lani to marry you. In fact, you'd been considering it for months now, and Clarice always heckled you for dragging your feet.

 

Ingrid's English was heavily accented. "Ask what of whom, Clarice? (Y/n)?"

 

You flushed, embarrassed. "I just- I mean, I was thinking about..." You sighed. "I want to ask Lani to marry me, but I don't know how or when, and I don't even have a ring-"

 

Clarice smacked you lightly on your arm to stop you. "Excuses! You need to buck up and just do it already. There's no way she'd say 'no' after almost five years together and an international move. Ingrid, tell her!"

 

Ingrid's lips pursed, but she spoke politely. "You should do what makes you happy, (y/n). I wish you luck."

 

You could tell the idea was making her uncomfortable, so you changed the subject until she finished packing and left. Clarice all but pounced on you when she was gone.

 

"Seriously, (y/n), just do it. At the very least get a ring!"

 

"I actually have ideas about the ring, but I don't want to give the wrong impression..." you confessed.

 

At her insistence, you showed Clarice the test design for matching rings on your phone. It was a practical band design with three stones inset. Engraved on the inside would be the runes for love, luck, and loyalty. The only difference was the choice of stones. Yours had (y/ring), and Lani's had an emerald flanked by a pair of topaz.

 

"It shows you put a lot of consideration into it. I think it'll give the impression you want." Clarice patted your arm, because she couldn't reach your shoulder.

 

You sighed. “I hope so..."

 

"Tell you what, if you _haven't_ asked her by Family Day, then _I will_. You _are_ bringing her, right?"

 

Without giving you a chance to respond, she plucked up her pre-packed suitcase and all but skipped off to the parking lot. You frowned after her, unsure if she meant she would ask Lani on your behalf or... You shook your head. You'd spent too much time trading tricks with Lani. Though, you were curious to see how a mock proposal from Clarice to her would play out.

 

You made your way out to your car and waved at Blake from across the lot. You loaded up, strapped in, and dialed Lani on your hands-free as you began your journey.

 

"Hallo, kjaere."

 

The velvet of her voice soothed you. "Hey, baby, how are you?"

 

"Lonely. Karina refuses to speak to me unless I apologize," she mock-whined.

 

You smirked. "Lani, what did you do?"

 

"Nothing more than encourage her brother to finally tear down that rotting shed he despised. Apparently, she had other plans for it, who knew?"

 

"You knew, obviously. Damnit, Lani." You couldn't help laughing. "If you keep vexing the neighbors like that, they're eventually going to retaliate. Oh, but I'm sure the look on her face was priceless. I love you."

 

"I know."

 

You scoffed; and decided to test something. "Would it kill you to say you love me back?"

 

She chuckled. "It just might."

 

"Well, at least you would die happy."

 

"Yes, but I am not yet ready to pass. There is still much to be done."

 

You smiled. It wasn't the words themselves, but her language was affirming enough. This peculiarity of hers you accepted with all the rest, even when they angered you. They were each a part of her, your sweet Lani, your partner in crime. ' _Clarice is right, I need to just get it over with.'_

 

"Fair enough, I suppose. Would you mind if we talked about something over dinner?"

 

"And what would that be?"

 

"I'll tell you tonight."

 

She hummed with intrigue. "This should be interesting. I await you eagerly."

 

"I'll see you soon. Love you."

 

"As I do you."

 

You spent the rest of the drive thinking through how you would ask her; what you would do if she accepted, what you would do if she declined. That thought dropped ice into your gut. Once you crossed that line and asked, there was no going back. If she said 'no', would it make things awkward? Would she pull away from you, or choose to leave? You chewed your lip. _'Don't think, just do it. Don't think, just do it!'_ That was your mantra until you arrived home a few hours later. You didn't realize how tense you'd been until you parked and tried to take your hands from the wheel. You had to all but pry your fingers off before snagging your suitcase from the back and heading inside.

 

"I'm home, Lani!" you called.

 

"Welcome home, love!" she called back from the kitchen.

 

You could smell she was in the middle of making dinner so let her be. A quick shower and change, then you set up at the kitchen table with your personal laptop. She came over long enough to slip her fingers tenderly along your jaw and place a lingering kiss on your tired lips. It was the memory of these fleeting moments of paradise that got you through work while you were away.

 _‘Just do it.’_ You subtly turned the computer so Lani couldn't see the screen and launched your browser from the taskbar. ‘ _Don’t chicken out, it’s going to be alright.’_ You pulled up the page for the ring designer you used to create the proof you showed Clarice and accessed the editor. You wanted to see how one of your other ideas would look.

 

“How is your project coming along?” Lani asked.

 

“Rather well. I expect to be on this schedule for only another two months.”

 

“That will be a relief, I’m sure.”

 

“I’m looking forward to being home more.”

 

You worked on the design until dinner was ready. You were still pleased with the original one, and that gave you a bit of confidence. You moved your laptop as Lani set the table before joining you.

 

“So, darling,” she set her elbows against the table and rested her chin on her wrist looking right at you with that impish grin of hers, “What was it you wanted to discuss?”

 

Your mouth went dry and you tried to swallow. “Oh, yes, right, um…” You took a sip of water, but it didn’t help. You hesitated more, and Lani tilted her head just so in patient question. “I wanted to ask you something, actually.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I…” ‘ _Shit, I’ve already screwed it up. I can’t do this. Why? Why can’t I do this?! Plan B.’_ “I was hoping you might be willing to come out to my work site next month. They’re hosting a Family Day, and we are allowed to bring one or two members of our family to come see what has basically stolen two years of our lives.”

 

“Oh? That does sound interesting. I would be glad to come.”

 

You smiled. “Great!”

 

“What else?”

 

You blinked. “Hm?”

 

“There is else on your mind.”

 

“No, that was it.”

 

“(Y/n), you know you cannot lie to me. I do not understand why you insist on trying.”

 

You sighed. “I mean, yes there was something else, but I decided against it.”

 

Lani narrowed her eyes just so with a soft hum. You could sense her desire to press you, but mercifully she did not. She looked away from you to enjoy her dinner, and you realized you had been grasping the sides of your chair. You worked the ache out of them under the table before starting in on your own plate, cursing your cowardice with every bite.


	19. Chapter 19

 

**(Your POV)**

As always, your week off ended all too soon. Back at your worksite, you sat on the edge of your bed, head in your hands as Clarice scolded you.

 

“I can’t believe you choked,” she shook her head again.

 

“I know, I know,” you groaned, equally disappointed with yourself.

 

She sat down next to you and pat your shoulder comfortingly. “Did you at least get a ring?”

 

You nodded. “Yes. I mean, I placed the order, does that count? I asked someone in Oslo that still does custom jewelry, and he accepted. It’ll take a while for him to make them, so I figure I have until then to grow a spine.”

 

Clarice made a face at you. “(Y/n), you are one of the smartest, most decisive, and boldest people I know. If _you_ can’t manage to ask _your_ lover to marry you, what hope is there for the rest of us?”

 

You laughed humorlessly. “I doubt they’re trying to propose to a veritable goddess, but I take your meaning.”

 

She giggled and just gazed at you, grinning. After a moment, it became uncomfortable and you cringed away.

 

“What?”

 

“You really love her, don’t you?” Clarice beamed. “It’s written all over you.”

 

You picked at your nails, sheepish. “I don’t know what I would do without her. I think that’s why I couldn’t ask. I’m afraid of what will happen if she says ‘no’.”

 

She laid an arm around your shoulders in a half hug. “It’ll be alright.”

 

Clarice continued to assure you for the rest of the week but seeing Lani again drained all your moxie. She continued to declare she was happy here with you, living this way, but you couldn’t shake the feeling she was compromising. _‘Will any of this ever truly be good enough for her? Am **I** good enough?’_ Considering everything you’d done and risked for her, that thought stung. You shook your head viciously. No, Lani _loved you!_ She supported you, listened to and counselled you, heeded your own advice and concerns. If she considered you at all beneath her, she would not have bothered; and if she were only using you as a means to get to Norway, she would have already left you. You clung to this belief and sought out anything that proved it true.

 

‘ _If she would only say she loves me…’_

 

**(Loki’s POV)**

The weeks leading up to the fieldtrip to (y/n)’s worksite passed in their usual manner. Loki noticed, however, that her paramour began to act strangely in that time. Then, Loki came across a receipt from a local jeweler for an order she had neither seen nor heard (y/n) discuss. The purchase item read only “custom order”, giving no hint as to what it was. The glimmering strands of fate appeared once more and only for a moment, coiled around the bit of paper, Loki herself, and (Y/n).

 

“(Y/n), my love?” Loki showed her the receipt in question.

 

(Y/n) stiffened, taking it from Loki with a hasty smile. “It’s nothing, just an old receipt.”

 

She gave (y/n) a knowing grin. “Would that be why it is pristine?”

 

(Y/n) cleared her throat and tucked it away, overcoming whatever moment of panic had gripped her, but she did not answer.

 

“Oh, come come, darling,” Loki teased to hide her own uncertainty, “what is it for?”

 

(Y/n) just shook her head.

 

“You’re going to make me guess, aren’t you?” The other woman shrugged, and Loki chuckled, pacing a bit as she ventured, reading (y/n)’s answers in her physical tells. “Is it something for yourself? No. Is it something for me, then? …No? Is it a gift for…your aunt, perhaps? One of your nieces?”

 

(Y/n) gave not a clue, and Loki’s false humor began to fade. “…Is it for someone else…?” Her lover shrugged. Loki licked her lips, trying once more. “Don’t leave me wondering, pet. So large a purchase should be discussed, don’t you agree?”

 

(Y/n) set a quick kiss on the tip of her nose. “If you were meant to know about it, I would have told you, now wouldn’t I?”

 

Loki smiled again. “Oh, I see, it’s a surprise.” She leaned in, giving (y/n) a knowing grin. “So, it _is_ for me.”

 

Still, (y/n) would not say and Loki sighed. “Fine, don’t tell me. I suppose I’ll just have to root around your jewelry box to find what it is.”

 

“You do that. Could you toss me an apple, please?”

 

Loki furrowed her brow and plucked a fruit from the basket. Before delivering it, however, she took a passive aggressive bite.

 

“Wha- Really, Lani?” (y/n) cried in mock anger, clearly under the impression Loki was being playful.

 

Loki sassed her with a glance, obfuscating the doubt that began creeping into her veins. Was it possible that in her time away (y/n) had found another lover? It would only be natural and, for all Loki was concerned, acceptable. The Allmother and Allfather themselves kept several additional lovers to the end of their days for their own reasons. They both were aware of the others, of course, for that was only proper, and that was what sat ill with Loki: that (y/n) felt she needed keep it secret. Perhaps she was ashamed, or perhaps she did not wish to anger Loki. Either way, she was being silly, and Loki would tell her as much. (Y/n)’s peculiarities prevented Loki from saying so outright, and she gritted her teeth, knowing she would have to allow (y/n) to broach the subject in her own time.

 

Loki not help her curiosity, though, knowing that she and (y/n) would soon be off to the place that served as her second home. If she had another lover, they would be among the people there, and Loki was certain she would know them with a glance, for (y/n) was the only mortal that might could fool her.

 

When the day came, Loki was struck by the working conditions her kjaere had endured for the past two-and-a-half years. It was no longer a wonder that she was so grateful to be home; the drive to the site alone was an exhausting three-and-a-half hours! The site itself was situated on a lonely plain at the end of a long, winding road through the mountains. Aside from the living quarters constructed separately from the primary building, there was nothing of civilization anywhere to be found. She imagined one would feel quite isolated after only a few days spent here, let alone how long (y/n) had been made to stay.

 

“I believe in some places, conditions such as these qualify as torture,” Loki observed before she climbed out of the car with (y/n).

 

Her companion giggled. “It felt that way at first, but I suppose one grows used to it. Besides, the work and company keep me well enough.”

 

“Will I have a chance to meet this company of yours?” She fell into step beside (y/n) and took her offered arm.

 

“You should, yes.”

 

The broad concrete path leading to the entrance was sprinkled with other workers and their guests. (Y/n) greeted each as was appropriate, noting for Loki who and what their responsibilities were. The primary construction was unmistakably of a Stark design, not only for its walls of glass and highly polished metal edges, but for the company logo emblazoned above the entrance. Blurred memories flickered in the back of Loki’s mind, and she held firmly to (y/n)’s arm. She knew beyond doubt she did not resemble her previous form enough to raise suspicion, and it was nigh impossible that Stark himself would be here, but she felt exposed and apprehensive nevertheless. Inside, they were momentarily detained by a bespoke security guard, who recorded (y/n)’s credentials, Loki’s information as Lani Hall, and both were made to sign an agreement. Loki was provided a brightly colored badge and lanyard, which she cringed against being made to wear.

 

Formalities complete, (y/n) swept Loki inside, and she could feel her paramour’s own apprehension. Its cause, however, Loki could not yet pinpoint. The circular design of the building made for easy traversal of the halls, and they followed the wall counterclockwise at a leisurely pace. (Y/n) drew Loki’s attention to various notable features and items on each level, modestly identifying how they related to her own contributions. Loki understood now. (y/n) was attached to this monstrosity the way a sculptor was to their works, and she was seeking Loki’s approval. She gave it where she was sincerely able but could not help verbally scrutinizing the many incomprehensible designs shown to her.

 

“This isn’t like the office building back in downtown (y/city), unfortunately,” (y/n) bemoaned. “I know only the areas I’ve been given permission to work on.”

 

“Am I allowed to see these areas?”

 

“I can’t take you into them, but W.I.C.K.I.E. will show us.”

 

Loki frowned. “W.I.C.K.I.E.?”

 

“That’s the name of the A.I. here. I think her name comes from an old reference to lighthouses, or some such thing.”

 

“Odd, considering this location is neither on nor near any bodies of water...”

 

(Y/n) took Loki into one of the rounded alcoves that lined the circular hallway and sat them in a pair of comfortable chairs. She raised a mounted arm from between the seats, securing the connected square of what appeared to be glass at the end, and pinching a corner. A feminine voice sounded from a speaker Loki could not locate.

 

“Fingerprint recognition positive. Good morning, Ms. Jerman. You did not come alone today, did you?”

 

She giggled. “No, I did not, W.I.C.K.I.E., could you please bring up construction blueprints at my access level? I’d like to show my guest what I’ve been working on.”

 

“Of course, ma’am. Here they are. Also, Mr. Snyder has left a message for you. Would you like me to display that as well?”

 

“Is it work-related?”

 

“I believe so, yes.”

 

“Then, I’ll read it later. Thank you.”

 

“You are welcome, ma’am.”

 

Holograms almost indistinguishable from those Loki had known on Asgard rose from the square of glass between them, providing an interactive display of the building. (y/n) swiped and gestured to manipulate it, pointing out which sections she had worked on, described how long they had taken, and the challenges inherit. Loki noticed a large hollow at the center, looking as though the building itself had been built around an enormous tear drop. She prodded at the hologram to focus on the empty space, examining the rounded bottom and raise circular platform at its center. The blueprint showed what looked to be the ports and fans of a ventilation system lining the angled walls and leading up to a mechanical iris that served as the ceiling.

 

“What is this?” Loki asked.

 

“We call it the courtyard. Everything feeds into it; the sensors, power, etc.”

 

“What purpose does it serve?”

 

(Y/n) smiled. “That would be the question, wouldn’t it?”

 

Loki hummed, understanding (Y/n) either did not know or could not say. “Could we see it?”

 

“If you want to, sure.” (Y/n) gestured, and the hologram faded.

 

“Will that be all, ma’am?” the A.I. asked.

 

“For now, yes. Thank you, W.I.C.K.I.E.”

 

“Of course. Please enjoy your time with your guest.”

 

(Y/n) tucked the arm and glass neatly away, wrapped her arm with Loki’s and led her off. A short elevator ride to the topmost level delivered them to a viewing area. Several other people were here as well, perhaps for a similar reason. The pair strode up to the glass, leaning for a better view. The ports and vents were closed, and every surface of the “courtyard” was construct of or lined with metal. From here, Loki could see notches on the platform, and directly across from it an extendable walkway. Clearly, items or people were meant to access the platform.

 

“What is the purpose of this?” she asked, and (y/n) shrugged.

 

“As far as I understand, it’s some kind of communication and transport system. The details are above my level, though.”

 

Loki began to ask if (y/n) had noticed the walkway as well when a masculine voice called form behind them.

 

“Hey, (y/n)!”

 

Both women turned to look, and (y/n) grinned.

 

“Hey, Blake! I thought you weren’t coming today?” she commented.

 

In spite of her previous resolution concerning additional partners, Loki could not help the jealously that shot through her when the two embraced. She knew (y/n) was fond of men and women equally; could this painfully common male be (y/n)’s secondary lover? No, surely not! He was a far cry from what (y/n) deserved. Possessive, Loki moved gracefully to reclaim (y/n)’s arm.

 

The male glanced between them. “This must be the famous Lani.” He offered his hand. “I’m Blake.”

 

Loki eyed his hand, then him, then nodded politely. “A pleasure.”

 

Her refusal caught him off guard, and Blake ran his palm against his leg to recover. His anxiety pleased Loki. She observed as he acquainted them with his sister, and (y/n) was no more polite than Loki had come to expect. When she was introduced to the bubble of energy that was Clarice, Loki also added her to the list of suspected secret lovers. The drab one called Ingrid she disregarded. (Y/n) had far better taste than to consider that one.

 

 

The day wore on and Loki witnessed the depth of familiarity (y/n) shared with her mundane cohorts. It should have comforted her to know (y/n) had such friends, but it did not. It burned her. ‘ _These commoners have for too long been blessed with nearly all (y/n)’s time and attentions. **I** should be the one so endowed; not be made to wait my turn like a child seeking permission!_’

 

 

For (y/n)’s sake, Loki contained her outrage, and her visit concluded without incident. As (y/n) and the rest were expected to remain and complete their schedules, the company had provided transportation for the visitors. Before boarding, Loki drew (Y/n) away from the others, lacing her arms about her waist.

 

“How much longer must we be parted this way?” Loki asked.

 

“One more month; just two more trips.”

 

“Do you promise?”

 

“I cannot promise I will not have to be away like this ever again, but I can say that it will not be nearly as often.” (Y/n) tapped her knuckle under Loki’s chin, encouraging her to meet her gaze, which she did. “I know it’s been long and lonely, but it’s almost over. Can you endure this for me a little longer?”

 

“Only because you’ve asked so prettily.” Loki pressed her forehead to (y/n)’s and sighed. “You are mine, even now, aren’t you?”

 

(Y/n) chuckled. “So long as you are mine, yes.”

 

Loki tightened her embrace, wishing it would force out her apprehension and envy. It was only at (y/n)’s urging that she released.

 

“I have to go now, kjaere, I’m sorry,” (y/n) kissed her hair, then her lips, and saw her to the bus that would take her home.

 

They exchanged sweet farewells, Loki took a seat by the emergency exit, and they each watched as the other faded into the distance.

 

 

( **Your POV)**

The weeks dragged on. At home, Lani exhibited an uncharacteristic insecurity, pestering you again about the jewelry order and reconfirming that you were still devoted. At work, the tedium was almost maddening. Every tiny detail was checked, recheck, and then checked again. Finally, your purported last day on site arrived.

 

Tony Stark and Riri Williams themselves had come to inspect the facility, and all you could do was wait for their approval or criticism. You resisted the urge to pace the length of the breakroom where you, Clarice, Blake, Ingrid, and a handful of others awaited the news. Your shift lead had snuck off to find out whatever he could, but that had been three hours prior... You wrung your hands, Blake paged through a thin booklet of advanced chemical compounds, and Clarice muttered to herself as she swiped through a bit of her code at the hologram station with W.I.C.K.I.E.’s help. Ingrid sighed when her endless patience began wearing thin and hopped up from her seat, striding out of the room. Wherever she had intended to go was quickly forgotten and she hurried back inside.

 

“Domingo’s coming back!” she declared, returning to the table where she had been sitting.

 

You all snapped to attention. A moment later, your shift lead swept in, beaming and arms spread wide.

 

“It’s official; that’s a wrap! WE’RE FINISHED!”

 

Clarice and Blake cheered, Ingrid sighed again with relief, and you nearly cried. At long last, it was over. Two-and-a-half years of toil, frustration, and separation were finally over!

 

“Does that mean we can go home now?” you asked, hopeful.

 

He shook his head. “Not just yet.”

 

You slumped. “Then, when?”

 

He checked his watch, frowned, counted on his fingers, and frowned at his watch again. You knew what he was up to and bit your lip, waiting.

 

Clarice seemed like she would burst with anticipation. “WELL?!”

 

“Aaaaand NOW we can all go home! We’ll see you back at the Oslo office in a week.”

 

“You are such an asshole, Domingo,” Blake grumped, rolling up his booklet and smacking Domingo’s arm with it as he passed.

 

You shook your head at Domingo, smirking. As annoying as it had been, you had to admit it was also funny. You, Clarice, and Ingrid raced to see who could reach the living quarters first. Contrary to Clarice’s declaration, it was a tie. You worked as a team to pack and arrange the room and its furniture as was expected of you, all but ran through the parking lot to your cars, and waved hearty farewells. It wasn’t a last good-bye, since they would be at the Oslo office as well, but it was still bittersweet. You gave Lani the customary call and tested the horsepower of your car. Only three hours later you were home and drowning in her embrace and kiss.

 

You couldn’t tell which of you was happier for the project that brought you here to finally be complete. Your week off at home passed in the usual leisurely way, and the high from your accomplishment made each tiny thing felt more significant. Lani’s laugh was sweeter, the clack of your Tak pieces more satisfying, and the clinging of your bedsheets were a perfect cocoon. Lani pulled you to rest your head on her chest each night, sliding her fingers through your hair.

 

“Mine,” she uttered possessively, wrapping herself tightly around you once again.

 

You nuzzled her reassuringly. The way she spoke filled you with confidence and hope, and you considered again asking her to marry you. _‘I can’t imagine that she would say “no”, what am I hesitating for?’_ But the elation that made you brazen failed you, and your throat closed up whenever the words began forming on your tongue.

 

_‘Why can’t I do this?!’_

 

You wanted to scream, wanted to find whatever was holding you back and tear it limb from limb! Lani’s fingers began drawing nameless shapes across your back, soothing you. ‘ _I could just tell her what the receipt is for; she’d catch on! That would be cheating, though… For something like this, I want to do it right. It has to be done properly.’_

 

You crushed your arm around her waist, fighting the need to cry away your frustration and self-loathing. Your cherished Lani, ever perceptive, took note and shushed you sweetly.

 

“Peace, my love; I am here.”


	20. Chapter 20

 

**(Loki’s POV)**

Having (y/n) return home each day righted the sense of wrongness Loki had not realized she had been feeling. This was where she belonged, in Loki’s arms dreaming peacefully, distracting their victims while Loki indulged in whatever mischief she fancied that day, and now eying a foil warily. Loki had borrowed a pair of them from one of her fencing partners and they had agreed to allow her access to the practice space alone with (y/n). Loki knew such a weapon was not (y/n)’s forte, and that she preferred practicing new skills in private.

 

 

“I still can’t believe I agreed to this…” (y/n) groaned.

 

“Follow my lead and you will do fine, my love,” Loki assured her.

 

She took a deep breath and nodded. “Alright. I’m trusting you.”

 

Loki began slow, ensuring (y/n) developed her footwork and balance before branching into the novice movements. She took instruction well, and Loki was pleased to have a new activity to indulge in with her. It took only a few months of direction and practice for (y/n) to begin dancing with the fencing group, though she did not improve much beyond that.

 

“I’m trying, Lani, I promise,” she swore. “This just isn’t my style…”

 

Loki tucked a knuckled under her chin, preventing her head from dipping with shame. “That you try is enough.”

 

Still, (y/n) scowled, disappointed with herself. “Would you mind if didn’t fence with the group anymore? I think it’s pretty clear I won’t get any better, and I enjoy practicing with you more, anyway.”

 

Loki made a face. “Do not consider yourself so meanly, kjaere.”

 

She laughed. “Are you scolding me for it?”

 

“Actually, yes.”

 

(Y/n) sighed and rubbed at her arm where she’d taken a wayward strike, and Loki knew it would leave a bruise. Loki coaxed (y/n)’s free hand into her own, leading them home. They paused at the hag’s home, collecting a few fruits Loki had earned through assisting her. Glimmering strands crossed their path as they continued home, one wrapping each of them in a coil and connecting them. To Loki, it was an irrefutable sign all was how it should be. She felt (y/n) begin to lag, and slowed with her until they stopped altogether.

 

“Love?” Loki prodded.

 

(Y/n)’s face was pained as she met her gaze. “Lani, tell me true…”

 

Loki canted her head in question, apprehensive.

 

“Are you happy? With our life together? With me?”

 

Loki blinked, puzzled. “Where is this coming from?”

 

“Please, just answer me.”

 

She licked her lips slowly, considering her words. “(Y/n), dove, whatever has caused you to doubt I can assure you is erroneous.”

 

“Then, tell me you love me.”

 

Loki frowned, turning the conversation to avoid the topic entirely. “Tell me you are mine alone.”

 

(Y/n) gave Loki a puzzled look. “Who is having erroneous doubts now?”

 

Loki sneered. “I was not blind to just how comfortable with those associates of yours. Considering how long you were housed together, am I irrational to wonder?”

 

(Y/n) sighed and took Loki’s hand. “We are all friends, and nothing more. When you work closely with people for so long, tend to become akin family. At most, we might consider each other like siblings.”

 

Loki pursed her lips.

 

“My heart lies only with you, Lani. It always has.”

 

(Y/n) paused and drew Loki into an embrace, who returned it just as tightly. She sighed, accepting (y/n)’s words, and pleased she had averted her attention. ‘ _Were it that I could speak those words to you, my dove…’_

 

They resumed their trek home, arms linked, and Loki smiled when she once more saw those glimmering threads appear. They slithered and weaved about leisurely, gradually entangling Loki, (y/n), their home, and all within. They danced all through dinner, and with only mortal sight (y/n) was unwise to the cause of Loki’s persistent smile. The way these threads of fate tangled and knotted spoke of permanence; was Loki perhaps being _too_ cautious? Was it possible there was a way she _could_ tell (y/n) she loved her, a way to honor that oath to the end? At that thought, the strands glinted brighter, and Loki took it as confirmation. ‘ _There is always a way to accomplish anything; one has only to be crafty enough to find it. This, I will find; somehow.’_

 

Her self-promise sent ripples through each strand. Puzzled, Loki watched them pull taut, the slack gathering around her, and then snap. (Y/n), their home, their trappings, Loki was no longer connected to any of it. Puzzlement became confusion when the broken threads buried themselves under Loki’s skin, gathering weightily in her chest. She pressed a hand to the spot, feeling for an indication of their effect or intent. Across the table, (y/n) called to her, concerned. When she did not respond, (y/n) took her hand.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Loki crafted an assuring smile. “Nothing, eskling. Perhaps too much coffee today.” She rubbed at the spot above her heart as though it was fluttering.

 

Loki’s heart was, indeed, fluttering, but not for the reason (Y/n) now believed.

 

**(Your POV)**

You noticed the way Lani seemed to weaken over the following days, and it brought to mind the unknown illness she’d contracted before that had nearly killed her. Her symptoms were different this time, though; only fatigue and shortness of breath to accompany the increasing weight in her chest. She relented almost immediately when you insisted she see a doctor, but they could find nothing wrong. Her lungs were clear, her blood pressure healthy, and so on.

 

“Perhaps all we can do is wait it out like before,” you hesitantly suggested. It was the last thing you wanted to do, but you knew of nothing else.

 

“I am inclined to agree,” she replied, weary.

 

“I do wish you would stop catching the things we can’t figure out. Why not the flu for once, or a day cold? You know, like a normal person.”

 

She laughed weakly. “Pet, were I normal, I do not think you would love me near as much.”

 

“You’re probably right. Normal really isn’t any fun at all.”

Lani slept for most of the weekend, and by Sunday evening, she appeared markedly better. She even had the energy to make you breakfast before you left for the Oslo office Monday morning. Still, you fretted.

 

“Are you certain you’re alright? You aren’t going to stress yourself and fall ill again are you?”

 

She waggled a half-full bottle of medicine at you. “If necessary, I will medicate myself. I can survive a single day without you, I promise,” she teased.

 

You hummed, playfully doubtful, but kissed her ‘good-bye’ all the same. At the office, very little was accomplished. Everyone was still ecstatic about the completion of the facility and waiting for responses to various queries to other divisions of the company. Clarice eyed you meaningfully, and you shook your head. No, you had not managed to propose to Lani. She just sighed, patting your back sympathetically. The day passed leisurely, only the formalities of being at work were followed, and it was over before you knew it. Lani’s condition did not change. Tuesday was the same, as were Wednesday and Thursday. Friday, you stopped on your way home to pick up a few pastries from your favorite shop, much to her delight. It was not only to raise her spirits, but to lessen the disappointment of the bad news you brought.

 

“We’ve missed our usual coffee outing, so I thought I could bring at least part of it to you.”

 

“You do realize you spoil me,” she warned mockingly. “Whatever am I to do if you must away again for more than a day?”

 

“Well, considering that will be the case next week, I expect you to make like Sleeping Beauty and not die before I return.”

 

She made a face at you. “So soon?”

 

“It’s only for a couple of days. I’ll be home Thursday, and Domingo says he’ll find someone else to go in my stead next time.”

 

She pouted and you offered a bit of apple tart. She eyed it, unimpressed, but accepted nonetheless. Monday came all too soon. Again, you made Lani promise to care for herself, and she agreed she would see the doctor if the need suddenly arose. You were almost resentful, having to return to the facility, but Stark signed your paycheck, so you loaded up and headed out.

 

When you arrived that afternoon, you checked in with your site lead immediately set to work. Your hope was that if you could complete the repair sooner than anticipated that they would allow you home sooner as well. Over the phone Tuesday evening, you complained to Clarice.

 

“I still can’t believe they made me come out here again after only two weeks,” you whined.

 

“Well, if everything you touched didn’t turn to gold, they wouldn’t give you a second thought. They also wouldn’t pay you as much, so, you know, there’s that.”

 

“I suppose…” The message tone played from your phone. “Hang on.”

 

You tapped at your screen to pull up the message and read it over. Your stomach dropped. You read it over again, and a third time before returning to your conversation with Clarice.

 

“So… I was just notified that the rings I ordered are ready.”

 

Clarice gasped with excitement. “It’s about time! When are you going to ask her?”

 

Your heart began to race. “I… I’m not sure-“

 

“ _No!_ You are _not_ choking on this again! You’re doing this the minute you get home! No more excuses, (y/n).”

 

You drew a shaky breath. You knew she was right. “Alright. You’re right. I’ll do it….Friday.”

 

“No, the _minute you get home_!”

 

You cringed. “Fine, fine. The minute I get home.”

 

Your conversation wrapped up with more cheerful things, and you spent the rest of the afternoon and into the night in front of the bathroom mirror practicing every phrase you knew. Wednesday, you settled on one and focused on fine-tuning your intonation. ‘ _Would you do me the honor of accepting my hand?’_ Over, and over, muttering while you worked. That night, you could barely sleep. It still didn’t sound just right. You called Clarice. She laughed.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It’s just so…old-fashioned?”

 

“Maybe, but that’s sort of how we talk. I thought it appropriate.”

 

“I guess as long as you do it, it doesn’t matter what you say. Try it again.”

 

You did, she cringed.

 

“You sound like a teenage boy who can’t decide which octave he’s in.”

 

“I’m going to remember that one,” you growled.

 

After an hour on the phone, you thought you had it down. You’d said the words so many times that they became little more than a jumble of sounds with no real meaning, but they sounded the way you wanted. You forced yourself to sleep. You needed your energy for tomorrow.

 

**(Loki’s POV)**

The night (y/n) left, Loki slept in fits. The weight in her chest began constricting, making it more difficult to breath. In the morning, she thought a hot bath would help, but she was gasping by the end of it in a ring of ice crystals. She couldn’t remember how she managed to crawl out of the tub and into the bed. Her consciousness flitted from one thing to another as something wreaked havoc within. She was freezing; she was boiling; she was swooning; she was writhing in pain. She fought against whatever inside her was tightening like a steadily twisting wire, even knowing it could be she herself that snapped. She clawed at the sheets, bit and ripped at her pillow. In a moment of delirium, she wondered if this was how she would truly die.

 

Finally, it gave. The thing within that had drawn taut and twisted snapped with such force that Loki lost her hold on consciousness. Sweet oblivion cradled her aching mind, and she slept deeply in peace. When she woke many hours later, she was stiff and groggy. The weight and twisting in her chest was gone, and she drew her breaths free and deep. ‘ _At least I do not think I am in a hospital again, this time,’_ she thought, grinning as she reached to rub at her eyes with her knuckles.

 

Something hard jabbed her brow.

 

She flinched and groaned, running her fingers to sooth the angry flesh. Perhaps she was in the hospital after all? She reached with her fingers instead, rubbing her eyes clear and finally opening them to see what had become of her.

 

In the late morning light, Loki stared in disbelief at the gloves and gauntlets strapped to his hands.

 

‘… _What in the name of…?’_

 

He sat up cautiously, still staring at his hands. ‘ _This is a dream. It must be. I am yet slumbering.’_ He pressed his fingers against his chest and felt leather; to his shoulders and arms and felt his armor. Beneath him was gathered his evergreen cape. He untangled himself carefully from the blankets, drawing them back and staring at his leather trousers and boots, caked in the blood and grime and whatever else he had traipsed through to reach Thanos all those years ago. He ran his fingers along them, feeling the stretch of his longer limbs keenly. ‘ _I am hallucinating. My mind is still addled from yet another nameless affliction. And yet… last time I-…’_ Daring to hope, Loki threw himself from the bed and dashed to the dressing mirror.

 

Ragged, filthy, tall and lean; the God of Mischief appeared exactly as he had the day Asgard fell. He stepped closer, breathing lightly lest he shatter this illusion. He ran his fingers along his angular cheekbones and around his glittering green eyes, down along his jaw and over the swell of his larynx. This was no dream; Loki had returned to form.

 

He stepped back from the mirror, elation and confusion mixing.

 

‘ _What is this…? And how? I could not have willed this change, and there was no enchantment to dispel. I could not have cast one either, my seidr is-… Is… No; there…there is warmth…’_

 

His breath quickened and his heart fluttered. Could it be? Did…did he dare?

 

Loki raised a shaking hand, pressed his fingers together, and snapped. A swirl of golden seidr flared from his fingertips for a moment, then faded. His throat clenched, and he snapped again. Confusion dissolved, leaving behind only elation. He flicked his wrist, catching his dagger and the familiar kiss of its cold handle made him giddy. He guffawed. He pressed his thumb along the blade until he felt the promise of a cut then released. It was sharp, real; he was not dreaming, there was no illusion or other altered vision.

 

Loki was free.

 

As proof, he willed his form to change. He melted smoothly into the one known as Lani, and back again. A dark chuckle resounded from deep within. He willed it again, Jotun this time, then Lani with that sapphire skin, around and around and back to his princely shape. He threw his image around the room once, twice, thrice, turning to each with a broad grin. They grinned back at him. He laughed at them, and they laughed back at him in chorus.

 

He was free; Loki was FREE!

 

His illusions faded as a wicked grin split across his face and he threw his head back, howling with mad glee.

 

**(Thor’s POV)**

Thor Odinson, unwilling king of Asgard, sighed as he glanced again over the enormous map spread across the table of his war room. Around it were gathered his few Asgardian commanders, the Last Valkyrie Brynhildr, his Gatekeeper, and a recently returned Lady Sif. He fixed his eye upon each of them in turn as he spoke.

 

“I thank you all for your tireless efforts these past years. New Asgard is as safe as she can be, and her people are making due; but I fear I must ask too much of you.” Each gave indication he had their rapt attention. “As has been mentioned previously by Lady Brynhildr and Lady Sif, we must find a way to claim the mountains that surround us, or find another homestead. Our resources are dwindling, and our defenses less than ideal. When winter comes, the creatures beyond the mountains will look again to us as prey. Each time they come, we lose more brave souls. This cannot continue.”

 

Sif saluted, and Thor nodded to grant her permission to speak. “My king, cannot we appeal another realm for aide? Alfheim, or Vanaheim?”

 

“They suffer as we do, as does all the cosmos…” A distance entered his eyes for a moment, but he forced it away and cleared his throat. “We cannot burden them further. We are Asgard, we will find a way.”

 

Sif dropped her gaze, and Brynhildr regarded her empathetically. The Valkyrie spoke.

 

“I’ll take another flight over the range to see if there is a way to barricade the entrance to the valley again. We have more supplies this year from the last band of marauders that came through. I could use another set of eyes, though.”

 

Thor nodded. “Lady Sif, would you assist our Valkyrie?”

 

Sif agreed dutifully, and the two warriors departed. Thor assigned the rest of his commanders to their usual duties, then made his way to the Bifrost with his Gatekeeper. In spite of having no relation, the young man was similar to Heimdall in nearly every way, save for his eyes. These were a pale blue, near white. Thor clapped him on the shoulder as they made the short trip across the bridge to the observatory.

 

“Thank you again for agreeing to this, Tyr. Without you, we could not have rebuilt the bridge, and we would be blind to all but ourselves.”

 

“It is my honor and pleasure to serve the Allfather. I regret only that Heimdall could not pass the duty on to me himself.”

 

Thor chuckled. “I am not the Allfather yet, but your confidence is appreciated. Did you ever have the chance to know our good Guardian?”

 

Tyr shook his head and lifted the pendant he wore. “Only by his reputation and the wisdom he left behind in this. I am not gifted as he was, but the Eye of Heimdall allows me to see well enough.”

 

“He would be honored for you to carry it.”

 

They stepped into the small domed platform, and Tyr aligned the portholes for the routine inspection of the realms. Thor placed his hand on Tyr’s shoulder, and Tyr clasped his pendant. His eyes shimmered with the power of his predecessor, reflecting entire galaxies, and he focused on each until Thor was satisfied with what he saw. When they were finished, he lingered on Midgard.

 

“Your majesty, before you go, I think there is something, or rather someone, you should see here.”

 

Thor sighed. “If it is Jane Foster…”

 

“It is not.” Tyr assured him, then refocused his gaze.

 

The Gatekeeper’s sight honed in across the stars, over oceans and green expanse, and paused on the interior of a modest Midgardian home. A tall, slender man in green leather and dark hair lounged across a couch as he toyed with a small implement made of ice.

 

Thor went cold. He was silent for a moment, torn between relief, disbelief, exasperation, and anger. “When did you first notice this man, and how?”

 

“Yesterday, your majesty, as I gazed upon that system. I caught a glint of seidr being used and tracked it to Midgard. That power is not native to that realm, and I know of no wielders that could be there.”

 

“I see. Have you found anyone else like this, people out of place?” Hope tinged with guilt welled within the king.

 

“I have not, though I should mention this man has taken other forms. That of a female quite similar in appearance and…” Tyr trailed off nervously.

 

“And?” Thor urged.

 

“That of a Jotun.” Tyr was not himself acquainted with Prince Loki, but one could not mistake the marriage of seidr and shape changing; and Tyr was one of the precious few aware of Loki’s true parentage. “I apologize for not noticing him sooner, my liege. I cannot tell you for how long he has been there, only that he appears quite comfortable.”

 

Thor clenched his jaw. “I doubt it was by your failing, my friend. Tell no one of this, and prepare the Bifrost. I leave today for Midgard.”

 


	21. Chapter 21

 

**(Loki’s POV)**

With his larger hands, Loki fumbled slightly with the cell phone (y/n) insisted he keep. He had lost himself in his revelry and missed the customary call from his paramour. She had left a message for him, apologizing that she would be home about an hour late that day. He checked the clocked and gauged his remaining time. There was more than enough left for him to enjoy this form a while longer, so he plucked a cube of ice from the tray, stretched along the couch, and began shaping it at whim. He allowed his magic to flow freely, altering the room and flexing a few of his more subtle tricks.

 

For a moment, he considered whether or not he would use such magic on (y/n). He did not foresee a need to, but there would always be a possibility. Anyone else and he would not hesitate; he had even used harmless ones on his mother when they were practicing. If it were any other human, any other creature… He waved a hand to dissolve his spells and sighed. No, he would not deceive her more than he already had; she who accepted, who loved, who _understood_. Neither would he reveal himself to her, not for a while longer, at least. Once he discovered the way he could ensure his ability to honor the oath he wanted to swear, he would tell her, and she could decide.

 

He glanced again at the clock. There was enough left time for a quick jaunt to the hag’s home. Hopefully, there would be onions and carrots left he could obtain for dinner. Loki shifted to Lani, threw on her coat, and all but danced as she made her way. She quite enjoyed these little trips along the gravel road and through the split in the trees. When she arrived, she found several of the neighbors gathered at the hag’s home, celebrating the news of a number of recent births. She politely joined their toast, understanding the significance of the event. For the mortals, each new child represented one step closer to normalcy. When she was able to without offending, Loki gathered her intended foods and was on her way.

 

The walk home was peaceful as always, but Loki’s jubilance was broken when the house came into view. Standing at the front door, knocking, was a man she did not immediately recognize. As she drew closer, she was able to make out details. He was of equal stature to Loki’s original form, with moderate length blond hair pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck. He wore a hoodie and coat, and his jeans and boots looked as though he’d trenched through a river recently. The man waited patiently, hands in the pockets of his jacket, then knocked again, a bit more firmly than before. He was somehow…familiar…

 

Loki swallowed, hard, suspecting who he was, but hoping she was mistaken. Surely, it could not be. The crunch of gravel under her feet drew the man’s attention. He turned to watch her with a bright blue eye, the other covered by an eyepatch. He smiled broadly, attempting something cheerful. Her heart stopped; she knew that face, that dopey grin.

 

‘ _Brother. Why? Why are you here?’_

 

“Good afternoon, miss,” Thor greeted Loki cheerily as she paused at a wary distance, “I’m sorry to disturb you, but is your husband at home? I’m having some difficulty with my boat, you see, and would appreciate a hand pulling it out of the lake.” He pulled at his jeans to show off the water stains.

 

Loki hardly had to pretend; her aversion to his presence easily showed as suspicion. She scrutinized him head to foot, drawing her bag of vegetables up into her arms protectively, and she ensured her Norwegian held not a whit of Old Asgardian.

 

She edged slowly toward the house and Thor stepped out of the way, circling at a polite distance. “The Larsen’s are closer, over the hill off the northern shore. You may want to ask them instead.”

 

“I will, thank you. Could I perhaps bother you for a glass of water before I go? Finding my way here was a bit of a hike.”

 

Loki avoided eye contact but could still see that goofy smile spread across the towering god's face, his hands clasped leisurely in front of him. She nodded and bade him wait outside as she slipped in and closed the door firmly. ‘ _Why? Why is he here, and why now?! This will not do. I must be rid of him. If he discovers me- But how would he? No, he must suspect, at least. There are homes far closer and in plain sight of the lake; he came here directly and for a purpose. Damn him to Hel!’_

 

Loki cursed herself for having nothing to slip into his drink, knowing there was nothing else she could do without giving herself away. She gritted her teeth, poured the water, hoped against hope, and slipped it through a gap in the door just large enough to permit. Thor came forward and took it with a grateful nod. He watched her pointedly through the gap as he gulped it down and gave a satisfied sigh. “Thank you.”

 

As he handed the glass back and Loki moved to take it, Thor caught her by the forearm. Loki froze, terror spreading across her face, but Thor didn’t seem to notice or care. A knowing smile touched his features, and the momentary flicker of tender fraternity in his eyes was quickly replaced by confidant insistence.

 

“Why don’t you invite me in, ‘miss’? I think there is much we should discuss.” There was a knowing in his tone.

 

Loki pulled on her arm. “What? No! Let go!”

 

Thor growled, low and quiet. “Not until I see your face.”

 

“You’ve see my face, sir, now let go!” Loki pulled harder, but not with her full strength.

 

Thor stepped and forced the door open, maintaining his grasp on Loki’s arm and shutting it behind him.

“Lift your magic,” he commanded.

 

“What are you talking about? Get out of my house!” Loki yelled, fearful and frantic.

 

Thor set the glass on a nearby surface. “You can no longer fool me, Loki. I see through you.”

 

Loki wrenched with all her might, freeing herself from Thor’s grasp. “You’re mad!”

 

Thor lost patience and grabbed her again by the arms, nearly roaring. “You have hidden yourself away long enough!!” Tears welled in that blue eye, and his voice trembled. “I would see the face of my brother again with my own eyes…”

 

Loki was certain now. Thor had a means of detection she was unaware of; there was no other way he could have known. Her game was up. Once Thor caught her trail, Loki knew she could not escape.

 

“Your own _eye_ , you mean.” Loki pointedly corrected.

 

Calm and quiet, she stepped back out of Thor’s grasp, glowering at him. He let her go, holding his breath with anticipation. With a sigh, Loki shifted, smirked, and held out his hands in presentation of himself. Thor’s face drained of color as though seeing a ghost. His eyes flicked over every detail of Loki’s appearance, and his lip began to tremble. He tried to speak, but the words died in his throat. He grasped Loki’s shoulder in a brotherly manner, tears streaming down his cheek.

 

“How?” he finally choked out. “I saw- I saw him-“ He shuddered a breath.

 

Loki neither smiled nor scowled, looking anywhere but his brother’s face. He couldn’t bear the pain there.

“I know not, and yet, here I stand.”

 

Thor sniffed and pulled him into a tight embrace, sobbing quietly. Loki hesitantly returned it, patiently waiting for him to regain his composure.

 

“So much has happened, brother; so many things we must discuss.” Thor finally said, and he held him again at arm’s length. “I cannot wait to show you New Asgard.”

 

Loki frowned, and slowly shook his head as he pulled away again. He could tell this would not end pleasantly. “No, brother.”

 

“What? Why not?”

 

"Do you really think our people will welcome me back as easily as you waltzing me in?"

 

“Of course, they will! Besides, we need your help.”

 

Loki sniggered. “Me? My help?”

 

"Yes," Thor insisted. "Surely you are aware of what Thanos did after you…” He could not bring himself to say it, so continued instead. “Do you think Midgard was the only realm affected? We must finish rebuilding our home, secure our people and the rest of the Nine."

 

Loki caught sight of the digital clock in the kitchen and panicked. More time had passed than he realized.

 

“Perhaps we can do so tomorrow-“

 

“There is little time we can afford to waste,” Thor again insisted.

 

“I promise you, it is not time wasted. There are things I must see to this afternoon and evening, and you cannot be present.”

 

“If it is a matter of my appearance, you can simply-“

 

“It is more than that, but I cannot explain right now. You need to leave.” Loki attempted to push Thor toward the front door.

 

“I will go nowhere without you, not when I have only just found you alive!” Thor stood his ground, quickly reminding his brother who was stronger.

 

“I will not flee from you, I swear it, but you _must_ go. For now.”

 

Thor allowed himself to be moved. “Tell me why.”

 

“ _Because you cannot be seen here!”_ Loki hissed. “You will ruin everything!” He had nearly opened the front door to force Thor outside when he heard the closing of a car door. How had he missed hearing it come up the drive?!

 

“Who is that?” Thor reached to peek outside the blinds, but Loki snatched his hand away, grabbed him by the front of his hoodie, and dragged him into a rarely used corner. He raised a stern finger as though scolding a child.

 

“Just. Stand there. Quietly. Until I say otherwise.”

 

Thor's expression was that of puzzlement as the illusion rose to hide the man that stood nearly to the ceiling. Loki quickly shifted to Lani and began pulling the vegetables she had fetched from the neighbors from their sack. She had the kitchen set to prepare to cook the time (y/n) came in, suitcase trailing behind her.

 

“I’m home, Lani!” she called, fatigued from the road.

Loki threw a steely look at Thor’s corner before going to meet her.

 

**(Your POV)**

Today was the day. Today you would ask Lani to marry you.

 

The drive home felt like an eternity. You were white-knuckled, bouncing your free leg and again practicing your words. _‘Lani Hall, would you do me the honor of accepting my hand?’_ You did your best to keep calm, running through the plans you had devised for either outcome. You were ready; it was going to be alright. For a moment, your mind ran away with you. The reason the rings had taken so long was an additional detail you had added to Lani’s emerald. On the top, delicately etched, was a glyph of protection that could be seen when held to the light. You could already see her smile, knowing she would love it…that was, if she accepted you…

 

You both anticipated and dreaded pulling into the driveway, and when you did, you stopped to take a few calming breaths. ‘ _This is it… No going back. No choking this time.’_ You snagged your suitcase, stuffed the ring boxes in an exterior pocket, and headed inside.

 

“I’m home, Lani!” you called, kicking your shoes off. She came to greet you as usual, but there was something stiff about her in your arms, almost flustered. “Love, is everything alright? Are you still feeling unwell?”

 

“You startled me is all, I was about to begin chopping.” She rubbed her hands nervously.

 

You laughed an apology and she forgave you with a kiss. “I’m going to shower and unpack. Is there anything you’d like to do tonight?”

 

“I thought you would want to relax?”

 

“I wouldn’t mind going for a coffee after dinner. It’s still early enough, our shop will be open.”

 

“That sounds wonderful.”

 

You threw your suitcase on the bed and gutted it with practiced precision, hiding the rings in your bedside. You took your time showering and grooming; you wanted to look your best. Usually, you let your hair dry on its own, but today you gave it a bit of a style, even ran a little product through it before picking out your best slacks, a blouse, and blazer. Perhaps a bit much for coffee, but, it gave you confidence, and you needed more of that right now. Just thinking about it all made your throat close up and your stomach twist with anxiety.

 

‘ _It’s going to be alright’_ you insisted into the mirror, breathing deeply. ’ _Either way, it will all be fine. Whatever she says, whatever happens, I can handle it. I can do this!’_

 

You gave yourself an affirming nod, grinned, and fetched the rings from the bedside. You slipped the box with your ring into your left pocket, Lani's into your right, and headed for the kitchen. You didn't smell anything cooking yet and prepared a jab about her cutting herself as you rounded the corner into the dining and kitchen area.

 

You stopped dead, torn between confusion and protective fury. A towering man with blond hair had Lani by the upper arm, Lani was pulling back against his grasp, and they were glowering at each other. In her other hand, poised for an upward strike, was Lani's cutting knife. They both looked at you as they heard you come in, and Lani took the opportunity to free herself from the man’s hold. You strode forward with intention, shoulders squared as you glared into the man's single blue eye. You thought you had seen him somewhere before…

 

“Lani, what’s going on?” You demanded.

 

The blond man’s brow quirked. “‘Lani’? Is that the name you chose this time?” he asked incredulously.

 

You clued in immediately and planted yourself firmly between the man and Lani, your muscles coiled and ready. “You must be Tait…”

 

The man frowned again, then laughed. “What lies have you been telling, ‘sister’?”

 

Lani spoke your name softly behind you and you turned your head enough to give her an ear, not taking your eyes off Tait. She set a hand on your back, and you couldn’t tell if it was meant to encourage or calm you.

 

“Please, (y/n), sit and listen,” she urged.

 

“No, I won’t. He can’t have you!” You snarled and she flinched. _“I won’t let you take her!_ ” You tensed until you trembled, ready to fight, ready to kill to protect her.

 

You expected Tait to square up to you, to bluster back, but he only looked pained. “(Y/n), was it? I understand your anger and want to protect her, but you do not underst-“

 

You cut him off, fists clenching so tight you could swear your knuckles would split. “I _do_ know! I know who she is, and what she’s done. It matters not. She’s staying here, and you’re getting the FUCK out of my house and _never_ coming back or I swear I will rip your spine out through your throat!”

 

Tait chuckled darkly. “Brother, torture this poor woman no longer.”

 

Your rage faltered for a moment. “…’Brother’?” You glanced cautiously back at Lani for an explanation.

 

Her brow was furrowed as she averted your eyes for a long moment. “Yes,” she finally said. And you watched in dazed horror as your Lani, darling, beautiful, tender Lani, changed.

 

The man that now stood in your kitchen matched Tait in stature. Where Tait was broad, golden, and built, this man was slender, pale, with dark hair and green eyes. The greens and golds of his leather clothing, the battle-damaged cape; you knew this man now, and why Tait looked familiar to you. The twist in your gut reached up into your chest and you found yourself unable to breathe as your entire world shattered. Now, you truly understood everything over the past five years.

 

“Loki…” you breathed his name like a final revelation.

 

Loki flicked his eyes to meet yours, regret etched into every line of his face. “This is not what I had intended, (y/n)…”

 

You bobbed your head a bit, not quite able to nod and stumbled back from the two of them. You didn’t know when Loki had discarded the kitchen knife, but his hands were empty as he approached you. The sound of your name in his pleading velvet baritone made something else inside you snap. A smile pulled at the corners of your mouth and you guffawed.

 

"You two must have so much catching up to do! It's been so very long." You glanced to Thor, ever polite. "Please, make yourself at home, your majesty."

 

With that, you turned and made for the front door. You couldn’t be here, you couldn’t look at either of them, hear them, even know that they were near. Your body didn’t want to move, but you forced it for your own sake, snatching up your purse and keys and jamming your feet back into your shoes. Fingers wrapped around your elbow, not to stop you but to delay you. You paused but didn't look back, hand on the doorknob.

 

“Please,” you heard Loki speak softly, “do not go where I cannot find you.”

 

You almost laughed at the twist on the promise you had Lani make to you long ago. All you could do is smile, fighting back the tears. “Why concern yourself with where I go?” You echoed her own sentiments from back then and glanced just enough to see Loki’s face. “You have everything you were waiting for now, right? What does human like me matter anymore?”

 

The agony in his features would have ripped your heart out if it wasn’t already. You opened the door, slipped out of his grasp, and closed it tight behind you. Your feet carried you to your car, and muscle memory took you down the winding road, to whence you neither knew nor cared. So long as it was away.

 

You all but held your breath, afraid the slightest movement in your chest would destroy the tenuous web holding you together. When you finally realized where you had ended up, you were perched at the corner of the lacquered bar in the local pub you had never before visited. You stared at the amber liquid in your glass, watching the bubbles rise and the ice slowly turn. The sound pressure of the other patrons and music helped keep your pain at bay and fill the gaping hollow the truth about Lani truth had left you with.

 

You slid the straw around and sipped slowly, keeping to yourself and wondering. How had Loki actually ended up in the forest by your family’s cabin? Had he targeted you as an easy dupe? What scheme had you been part of for him? Were you even important enough for that, or were you simply entertainment while he worked? Part of you argued that there had to be at least some truth to it all, his actions, his feelings, his words; but another part of you forced you to remember that the rules of interaction and relationships humans followed did not apply to the likes of Loki of Asgard.

 

What humans valued, he did not. Their words meant nothing, their actions were but the scurrying of rats to him. You were little more than a pet, keeping him company and amusing him as you bent over backward and risked everything to make him happy and keep him safe. Everything you held dear, every laugh, embrace, compromise, prank, kiss, and sweet word, every small act of love; lies.

 

Your beloved Lani did not exist.


	22. Chapter 22

**(Loki’s POV)**

Loki stared at the closed front door until the sounds of (y/n)’s vehicle faded into the distance. Thor’s slow footsteps approached from behind and through his kindling rage Loki mastered his expression.

“I thought I made it explicitly clear that you were not to move, not to make a sound, until I said otherwise?”

“How long would have made me stand there?” Thor needled, and Loki turned on him.

“Are you happy now, brother?” he sneered venomously. “Does it please you to know you’ve ruined all I’ve accomplished here?”

Thor clasped a wrist in front of himself as he stood in the short hallway, unperturbed. “Knowing how most of your schemes end, I think it best they are disturbed, but that is neither here nor there. Tell me, did you ever intend to reveal yourself to her?”

Loki clenched his fist against the swell of rage and jeered. “Would you have ever told your own precious mortal? Or perhaps you did, and that is the true reason she discarded you.” The displeasure on Thor’s face cheered him. “If I let you speak the piece you are so determined to, will you leave me be?”

“I will not. You cannot stay here.”

Loki grinned. “Oh? Are you jealous, brother? My quaint living and charming companionship, divorced from the chaos of the realms and the crippling burden of the crown? Is that not the life _you_ desired?”

Thor gritted his teeth. “If you are asking whether I would trade places with you, that answer has been given in the past.”

“I think you would find my companion incompatible, but it _would_ be amusing to watch you fumble about-”

“ _Enough_.”

Loki’s grin lessened. “Alright then. If you’ve not the patience for my particular mode of welcome, then answer me this so we can both be on our way: Why are you here?”

“I’ve come to take you home, brother. As I told you, Asgard has need of your talents.”

He chuckled and leveled a glare at him. “Well, I do apologize, but I cannot acquiesce.”

“Your consent is not a factor,” Thor stated pointedly, and Loki could hear Odin in his voice.

Loki blinked and stammered with disbelief. “Are you-? Do you intend to _kidnap me_?”

“If I must.”

“Dear, oh dear, whatever happened to twist you so must have been devastating indeed. Won’t you share your woe?”

Thor’s shoulders drooped, his eye growing distant. “…Not here…”

Loki faltered. Thor had ignored his attempts to peeve him in the past, but never had Loki seen his brother so visibly laden with guilt. What had he done, or allowed to be done, that depressed him so?

“…Outside then, perhaps. I think you will find the view agreeable.”

Thor nodded, and Loki fetched a pair of glasses and the wine decanter before leading them onto the patio in the back. He wrapped it in a stationary illusion so any prying eyes would see only the empty table and chairs. They seated themselves comfortably across from one another, Loki filled their glasses, and Thor eyed his own hesitantly.

“Have you no ale?”

Loki shot him a seething look and sneered. “I beg your pardon? You appear quite uninvited, force your way into my home, traumatize an innocent, threaten to kidnap me, and then have the audacity to criticize the hospitality of my house?”

Thor dropped his head, thoroughly scolded, and took his glass without further complaint. An awkward silence fell, neither knowing where to continue their conversation. Loki watched his brother intently, sipping his spirit while Thor blinked down into his with lingering suspicion.

“It is not poisoned, brother,” Loki urged. ‘ _This time.’_

Thor finally took a taste, and Loki laughed when his face scrunched in disgust.

“It’s bitter!” He coughed.

“It’s _dry_ ,” Loki corrected, smirking as Thor took another drink nevertheless.

Silence fell again, Loki mentally scrambling for an effective way to dissuade his brother, and Thor swirling the dark red liquid around his glass. Once he felt he had given Thor ample opportunity to continue their conversation, Loki did so himself.

“How fares Asgard?”

“We are surviving. The winters are long and harsh, the harvests lacking, and our morale is a fading dream.”

“Do you lack resources or labor?”

“Both, in equal measure. We lose more and more each passing year such that I fear we may not survive the decade.” Thor eyed him meaningfully, and Loki distracted himself with his glass.

“What of the ship we escaped on, or the Bifrost to take you elsewhere?”

“Use of the Bifrost requires an amount of energy we cannot readily produce. It is used only in dire situations. As for the ship, it is crashed and all but functionless. We have neither the supplies nor knowledge to repair it. There are no building plans in the on-board systems, at least, none we can access. Even were we to return it to working order, or gather enough energy for the Bifrost, where would we go?”

Daringly, Loki ventured. “Why not come to Midgard?”

Thor frowned at him. “Do you not recall father’s lessons on the merging of realms?”

Loki’s lips drew into a thin line, as bitter as his wine. “Perhaps one of the many lessons the Allfather thought to exclude me from.”

“If two realms overlay, either one will destroy the other or both will be destroyed as they establish themselves. If we attempt to make our home on Midgard, make even a part of this place Asgard, it could well doom them both.”

Loki pondered, ticking ideas from his mental list as he continued to interrogate Thor. Their people were stranded, dwindling, struggling in vain. ‘ _But it is not my concern. I have already decided to remain here. Though, if Thor can see and hear as he did well enough to find me, then he will know when I begin my conquest. He will again be in my way…’_

“Well, it seems you’ve stumbled yourself into quite the conundrum, brother,” Loki needled.

“And you have always been the better of us where such situations are concerned.”

“I can no better tell you how to proceed than I can see the future.”

“You will not tell, you will command.”

Loki blinked. “What?”

“On Asgard.”

Loki dropped his glass to the table with a growl and rose from his chair. “Not this again; I told you, Thor, I can’t.”

“Cannot or will not?” Thor narrowed his eye at him as Loki paced about with hands behind his back.

“Does it matter? Think it through. You said yourself our people are on the brink of extinction as it is, and I am far from laudable. My return would do little more than to draw not only the enemies of Asgard anew, but mine own. Here, I am obscured and can remain so for as long as I see fit.”

“I found you easily enough.” Thor pointed out.

Loki paused. “Asking Heimdall to glance about hardly qualifies.”

He could feel the very air grow heavy as Thor looked at him sadly.

“Brother, Heimdall is dead.”

Loki blinked, momentarily stunned. “...What?”

“Has it been so long for you that you cannot remember?” The questioning on Loki’s face seemed to worry him. “Do you recall anything of Ragnarok? Of our escape, or Thanos?”

Loki scowled. “ _Him_ , I remember.”

“When he and his Children ravaged our ship, Heimdall ensured the Avengers were warned of their coming. It cost him his life.”

“Then how did you find me?”

“Our new Gatekeeper has his own talents,” Thor said simply.

“And that would be whom, exactly?”

“Do you recall Tyr?”

Loki’s brow twitched imperceptivity. “The young God of Battle?”

“They very same.”

“And what, may I ask, possessed you to appoint _him_ at a time like this _?_ ”

Thor smirked. “I think I will keep my secrets this time, brother.”

“Even if I may know of a candidate better suited to the task?”

Thor simply laced his fingers over his abdomen, looking quite pleased with himself.

Loki shook his head in disbelief. “Your arrogance will be the death of your precious Asgard, mark my words.”

“Why should that matter to you? You’ve already made it clear you have no desire to return, showing you’ve no concern for their fate.”

‘ _He is trying to play me!’_ Loki thought, almost offended, and he spat venom with his words. “Nor do you, brother. It shows clearly in their state as you have described it to me. Like a child at a chess board, your caprice condemns them to anguish and decay! At least Hela had the decency to put them out of their misery!”

Somewhere in the distance, thunder sounded its approach. Thor rose slowly, sparks arching from his hands as he bore down on Loki. The God of Mischief held his ground, even as the sparks snapped against his skin.

“Hela was your doing,” Thor growled, “Ragnarok was your fault.”

“Ragnarok was prophecy,” Loki growled in return. Thor’s shoulders tensed, his fists clenched, and Loki goaded. “Go on, brother, you know you want to, and it always makes you feel so much better.”

Thunder snarled closer, but Thor dropped his shoulders and took a step back.

“…I may not be an ideal leader, but I do know this: there is no profit for Asgard in the squabbling of her kings.”

Loki remained on guard, and narrowed his eyes. “I do not take your meaning.”

“Us, this,” He clarified. “It does our people no good.”

“…You still mean to spirit me away?”

“If you truly had no intention of leaving, if you had no care at all about our home, you would not argue with me so.” Thor reclaimed his seat, resting his arms on his knees and worrying his hands. “Besides, I have to return with something… I cannot wait for Stark.”

Loki eased closer. “How does Stark enter into this?”

“After-…” Thor tried to find his words. As he spoke, Loki slowly returned to his own chair. “After the battle, Stark made a promise to lend aid to our people when he was able. Part of that entailed building what he referred to as a “landing target” on Earth for the Bifrost. He thought that, if constructed properly, he would be able to open the bridge from here only as far as was needed to send through supplies and assistance, and consume only a fraction of the usual amount of energy.”

Loki propped an arm on the table and passed his hand over his eyes. He could not count the ways in which Stark’s plan and reasoning were lacking. “For a self-purported genius, he is truly clueless.”

Thor hummed in agreement. “Perhaps, but at least his intentions were pure, and he kept his word.”

Something clicked in Loki’s mind, and he let his hand fall away. “Where was this target constructed?”

“As I understand, the site he chose lies perhaps 200 miles from this place. It should be ready within...” Thor took a moment to consider, “one month, if Stark’s last report holds true. I had planned to use it to bring us home, actually, after we pay him a visit.”

All of (y/n)’s long hours and days away from home, the strange layout of the courtyard at the facility, the platform there; he now knew what it all was meant for. ‘ _If it does work as intended, then our worlds will be connected, even with the Bifrost in its weakened state.’_ Loki hated admitting Thor was correct about anything, especially concerning Loki himself, but he could not deny that some part of him did want to return to Asgard. ‘ _Perhaps, just a look…’_

“You do realize, brother, that your old friends are scattered to the wind? They would be but strangers to you now.”

“I expected as much. I am certain Stark will receive us nevertheless.”

Loki pursed his lips. The very idea of meeting again with any former member of that team sat ill with him. “Why not go yourself? As you tell it, there is a month yet before we could leave, and hardly any reason for me to-“

“Oh? Is it ‘we’ now?”

Loki glared.

Thor smirked. “Whatever business you have to conclude here, I will give you two days. After that, the both of us will depart leave to find Stark. I’ll not let you so far out of my sight until we are home, and you cannot linger here.”

He could hear Odin again in the god’s voice, and it threatened to curl Loki’s lip. Instead, he grinned and chuckled. “Two days is hardly enough time to see to all my affairs.”

“That you would have so many at once betrays how much you have diminished; or how much you have grown.”

And there was Frigga… Loki averted his gaze, torn. The thought that he could still be less than he was before wounded at his pride, considering how he had come to assimilate his Jotun heritage. Simultaneously, the possibility that his current state was, instead, a betterment of which his brother approved was almost pleasing. He did not miss the parallels between himself and his brother and their respective times on Earth. For Thor, it had been Jane Foster. For Loki, it was (y/n). Differing circumstances, yet similar outcomes. In spite of their ephemeral natures, the effect mortals could have on the gods themselves was truly astonishing.

Loki was quiet for long enough that Thor must have thought their former conversation had ended, and so attempted to begin one anew.

“So, are you going to wear that ridiculous helmet again? The one that makes you look like a cow?”

Loki licked his lips. “Are you _really_ going to start that again?”

Thor shrugged. “I figure if ever there was a time for you to change something you do not care for, it is now.”

“I am quite fond of my horns, thank you. They are a far cry better than those dainty feathers you insist on prancing around in.”

Thor scoffed. “I do _not_ prance.”

“That is not what mother said,” Loki teased.

After a moment, Thor laughed, and to Loki’s chagrin it was contagious. The animus between them broke, and they each laughed until their sides protested and their eyes watered. Loki wanted to blame the wine, but he knew better. This was the unbreakable fraternity of the Odinsons shining through. No matter how their paths diverged or how they fought, Thor and Loki would be, to the bitter end, brothers.

Thor caught his breath and wiped at his eye. “Oh, I needed that more than I knew.” He grinned broadly at Loki, who offered a half-smile in return. “I have missed you terribly, brother. It will be good to have you home again.”

Loki’s smile faded and he look away, still hesitant. “I recall you once saying that the throne would suit me ill.”

“And you once called me a witless oaf. Cannot we both be proven wrong?”

Loki laid a hand across his eyes again. The weight of the day was settling on his shoulders, and he realized just how eventful it had been. It was only this morning that he found he was free, that he had the power to facilitate swearing the oath he had held silent for so long. Thor had arrived perhaps two hours prior, and an hour ago (y/n) had discovered the truth. All this alone was enough for one day, and yet Loki found himself still needing to choose between Asgard and she whom he cherished, then confront her. He swallowed hard against practicality.

‘ _We are at a crossroads already, she and I. If I can make her understand, ensure her allegiance, then perhaps…Perhaps I could…’_ He dipped his hand to chew on a nail, allowing his petty schemes to form in the back of his mind as contingencies. ‘ _The fact of the matter is this: either she will come to terms before I leave or she will not. If not, I will simply have a more difficult time when I return. It is nothing I cannot overcome.’_ Loki decided. He would leave with Thor to see what could be done for Asgard, but afterwards he would return to Midgard for (y/n), and woe be unto any who tried to stop him.

“This will be an entertaining experiment,” he mused.

Hope lined Thor’s face. “You will come, then?”

Loki nodded. “Yes, brother, I will come.”

 


	23. Chapter 23

**(Loki’s POV)**

Loki gathered the wine and glasses and led Thor back inside. The sun was beginning its decline, and he had things to see to before it set.

 

“Since it seems you will be spending time on Earth, you will need a place to stay,” Loki said.

 

“Yes. It is probably best I do not stay here, though.” Thor touched a finger to the ceiling that was only a few inches from the top of his head. “How have you managed it for so long? I think I would go mad in such a tiny space.”

 

Loki gave his brother a bland expression before shifting form back to Lani, whom was notably shorter.

 

“Oh! Right, I’d forgotten.”

 

The now-goddess all but rolled her eyes again. She attempted to reach (y/n) through cell phone to find out where she was, but there was no answer. Loki would need to find her the old-fashioned way. She fetched her coat from the hook by the door along with her purse and slipped on her shoes. She motioned to Thor, who followed her out.

 

“There is a hostel on the way into town. I’m certain you can convince them to house you for a while.” Loki locked the door behind them and they began the hour or so trek along the gravel path.

 

Thor walked with hands in his pockets. “From the sound of it, you intend to leave me there. Where is it you are off to?”

 

“I have business in town.”

 

Loki did not need to glance up to see the knowing look on Thor’s face.

 

“I am sorry to have frightened away your companion. That was not my intent, but perhaps it is for the best, as you once told me.”

 

Loki said nothing. Neighbors that knew Loki as Lani hailed her as she passed, and she returned their waves. Now and then, the pair stepped out of the way of a passing vehicle, and Loki exchanged friendly gestures with their occupants as well. Thor seemed to enjoy the passing scenery and sounds of the Midgardian fauna. He questioned Loki about creatures of interest, and Loki answered him, if only to fill the silence. When they arrived at the hostel, Loki paused at the end of the walkway that led to its entrance.

 

“You can handle yourself from here, yes?” she asked as she handed him a fold of krone notes.

 

Thor shrugged, tucking them away. “I’ve handled worse.”

 

Loki nodded. “All else fails, your _lordship_ need only show them your sparks.” She wriggled her fingers meaningfully at him then resumed her trip toward town.

 

A roil of thunder a moment later made her flinch, and then grin. Thor had realized the reference.

 

By the time Loki arrived, many places were closing for the day. She trekked by the locations she and (y/n) frequented, but found no trace of her paramour. No one had seen her, and she still was not replying to the messages Loki continued to send. It was odd, but worried Loki only slightly. She knew (y/n) was not impulsive enough to have done something drastic in her despair. _‘She is giving me the cold shoulder, is all. She would not leave town again, not when she has only just returned.’_

 

The light of day faded, and the street lamps flickered to life. Loki still had not found or heard from (y/n). She grimaced at the idea of hailing a cab to take her back home, but it was too dark to make it even so far as the hostel where she had left Thor. She would simply have to wait for (y/n) to come home on her own. Resigned, she turned down the street toward the pub, where she knew drivers would be waiting to see safely home the drunken patrons. She very nearly raised a hand to attract the attention of one when she caught sight of a familiar vehicle. Pausing and examining the license plate, she found it was indeed (y/n)’s, sitting in the pub’s parking area.

 

_‘Odd… She has never shown an interest in such a place. Why would she be here?’_

 

Now fully concerned, Loki changed direction and made her way inside.

 

It was loud, crowded, and stank of spilled drinks. Tables were filled with old and newly-met friends making merry, and here and there were people dancing. Were Loki less perceptive, she would have missed (y/n) hunched over the corner of the bar, almost hidden by the crowd. She pushed her way through the bodies and against the sound pressure, grasping the bar for stability when she finally arrived. Either (y/n) did not notice or was pointedly ignoring her. Judging by the flush across her tear-stained cheeks, Loki figured it was the former.

 

Speaking to get her attention would be futile, so Loki placed a hand on her arm. (Y/n)’s eyes flicked first to the hand and then to its owner. Loki offered her a concerned expression, but she raised her arm to take another drink as though Loki was not there at all. The goddess was not so easily deterred. She remained where she was until (y/n) finished her drink and the bartender returned. Loki gave him a declining gesture, earning her a glower from (y/n). She paid her tab and pushed past Loki, making for the door with Loki on her heels.

 

Once they were outside, (y/n) shoved her hands into the pockets of her slacks and kept her eyes straight ahead as she stomped toward the parking area.

 

“(Y/n), wait, please,” Loki called, only to be ignored. She jogged to be ahead of her companion and walked backwards as she attempted to engage her. “Permit me a chance to explain. At the very least, I think I deserve that much-”

 

(Y/n) stopped dead, fixing Loki with an agonized scowl that sliced right through her, and snarling. “Deserve? What you _deserve?_ You want to talk about what you _deserve_?! How many frivolous explanations have you given me already? How many have I let pass? And now you want me to accept yet another?!”

 

Loki tried to respond, but (y/n) cut her off, her voice the bleeding edge of a knife.

 

“I have given you _everything_ ; _risked_ _everything_ for you! I have swallowed each and every lie you fed me hook, line, and sinker because I trusted, I _loved_! I have toiled and strained and bent over backwards to make you happy and build a life for us, knowing all the while that no matter how well I did, it would _never_ be enough!” She drew a few trembling breaths to steady herself. “And you want to talk about what _you_ deserve…”

 

Loki licked her lips as fresh tears streamed down (y/n)’s face.

 

“I trusted you…” she breathed. “And you sat there and let me…” She shook her head and sniffled before wiping at the wetness on her face and trying to laugh. “Was it at least amusing for you? Did your little marionette entertain you, _your majesty_?”

 

Loki bit her tongue against her own seething retort and forced herself to remain collected. “Let me take you home, kjae-”

 

(Y/n) barked snidely. “You don’t drive, Lani!! Oh, no, wait, let me guess. You’re going to tell me that you simply ‘prefer not to and that you’re actually quite skilled’. Am I close?”

 

It was almost more than Loki could take at the moment. She drew herself up imperiously and put out a demanding hand. “Keys.”

 

(Y/n) hiccupped even as she sneered and Loki stared her down. Neither was willing to concede.

 

“Elskling, please.” Loki insisted softly.

 

Without looking away, she reached into her purse and slapped the key fob into Loki’s palm.

 

“You don’t get to call me that anymore… Don’t you dare kill us,” she growled and broke away to climb into the passenger seat.

 

Loki took a calming breath before claiming the driver’s side. She waited until (y/n) was settled in her seat belt, arms crossed and leaning on her window before pulling out and finding the gravel road home.

 

“You know it is unwise to be driving when you’re inebriated; what was your plan exactly?”

 

“Sleep in my fucking car, what do you care?”

 

Loki bit back another retort. The crunch of the tires on the road was the only sound between them for a long five minutes. Then, (y/n) began mumbling.

 

“Why? Why me? I knew you were going to be trouble from the start, so why did I even...?” she sobbed.

 

Loki let her continue, hoping she would reveal more of her condition so she would know best how to handle this.

 

“I should have known the day I found you. Stupid, stupid. Did you seek me out knowing I’d be easy? Was any of it real at all? Why?”

 

She said little different than that for the rest of the drive. Loki noticed there was excitement at the hostel where she’d left Thor as they passed it. _‘At least one of us will have an enjoyable evening…’_ she thought bitterly. Parked at home, she offered (y/n) a hand inside, which was pointedly declined. Loki closed the door a bit harder than she intended. She followed (y/n) into the kitchen where the inebriated woman gulped a tall glass of water, threw grounds into a filter, and started the coffee maker. As she waited for it to finish, she turned on Loki.

 

“Change,” she demanded.

 

Loki blinked, confused.

 

“ _Change your face_ ,” she clarified. “I am not having this discussion with you looking like that. Lani isn’t real, so change.”

 

Loki pursed her lips against her growing anger, but complied. Instead of the leather armor, Loki was clad in princely robes with armored adornments. He spread his hands to present his form. “Ta-da,” he sang sarcastically. “Is this better for you?”

 

(Y/n) snorted. “More honest, at least.”

 

Loki dropped his hands. “You _do_ understand why I had to hide, do you not?”

 

“Yes, because otherwise no one would have taken you in. Tell me, what _was_ your plan? What scheme am I a part of? I think I’m entitled to that much, at the very least.”

 

Loki took a cautious step toward (y/n). “Perhaps in the beginning, there was something, but not now.” 

 

She didn’t believe him. “Are you sure it wasn’t to hide until you saw a good opportunity to try to take over Earth again? Because I seem to have really helped you out with that one,” she snapped.

 

Loki closed the distance, towering over his paramour, who glared back up at him. “I thought you understood me better than that by now.”

 

“I _understand_ that I’ve been lied to since the day I found you!”

 

“Have you not been listening at all?!” he hissed, “I had _no choice_!”

 

“Do you trust me?” (Y/n) asked simply.

 

Her momentary calm caught him off guard. “How could you even question-”

 

She cut him off and gestured angrily. “Then why not just tell me when you knew you could? What was I going to do, send a cosmic letter to Thor? Turn you over to the _fucking Avengers_?!”

 

Loki snarled. “There are beings in this universe with abilities you cannot even FATHOM let alone comprehend! I could not risk them discovering I still lived and drawing them here!”

 

“And what about us?!” (Y/n) sobbed, moving to leave the kitchen. “You let me fall in love with you, and you pretended to love me back!”

 

He grabbed her by the arms as she passed, refusing to let her escape. “I was _not_ pretending, (y/n)!”

 

She shook in his hands, struggling to catch her breath. “Then say it… Tell me you love me.”

 

She whined pleadingly, grasping the lapels of his coat and burying her face in his chest. He coiled his arms around her, holding her steady as she trembled. The words welled in his throat, formed on his tongue, but he bit them back. He couldn’t; not yet.

 

“Tell me, tell me, please. Say it to me just once!”

 

“Do I not say so each and every day?”

 

She pushed away enough to glare up at him again. “No, _Loki_ ,” she all but sneered his name. “You _don’t_. You return the sentiment, but you have not once ever said ‘I love you’ to me.”

 

His grip loosened. “I… Is it not understood?”

 

“Even if it is, I need to hear it.” She pleaded once more.

 

Loki swallowed against the lump growing in his chest and throat. He ran his knuckles tenderly along her cheek and begged. “Do not do this…”

 

“Just say it; please?” She begged, sobbing again. “Say you love me and I can forgive all of this! _Lie to me_ , if you must!”

 

Loki turned and stepped away, unable to bear the sight of her suffering any longer. Defensively, his pain began twisting into anger. “You cannot grasp what it means for me to speak such a thing.”

 

“Then explain it to me.”

 

“It is beyond mortal workings!”

 

She held up her hands. “So you won’t say it. After all this, you won’t even lie to me when I ask you to-”

 

Loki clenched his fists. “(Y/n), listen to me-”

 

“-The God of Tricks has nothing up his sleeve-”

 

“- _I cannot say it_!”

 

“I gave you my _heart, my life, I **trusted** you!_”

 

He rounded on her, teeth bared. “THAT WAS **YOUR** FOLLY!”

 

(Y/n) blinked at him, stunned into silence. Loki immediately regretted his words. He felt something between them break and all the desperation dissolved, leaving the room hollow.

 

She laughed once. “You’re right. It was my folly. I should have listened to my instincts; I should have known better.”

 

“(Y/n), please, I did not-” Loki reached for her hand, but was denied.

 

“Don’t apologize, Loki,” she sneered, “it’s unbecoming of a god.”

 

She may as well have slapped him. Loki could only watch as (y/n) reached into her pockets, removing two identical items he missed had been there at all. “You pestered me for months about that jeweler’s receipt, remember? They don’t matter anymore, so I suppose it makes no difference if you see them before you leave. At least one of us can come clean…”

 

She set the small black boxes on the kitchen counter, then took one of his large hands in both of her own and kissed his knuckles with a mock bow. “Safe travels, your majesty. I’m certain your people will be glad for your return.”

 

Her words were poison, paralyzing him as she disappeared down the hall and into their bedroom, closing the door calmly behind her. The ghost of her lips burned like acid on his knuckles, but he could not move. ‘ _Is this how it ends…?’_ he thought. He felt himself disconnect, unable to even process the concept. His body moved without direction, stepping to the counter and opening the velvet-covered boxes. In the bottom of each perched a simple band with three stones set in the center. He tilted the boxes to examine the writing on the satin lining. Each said the same, with “Lani” and “(y/n)” being the only difference: To a Lifetime of Happiness.

 

_‘Engagement rings...’_

Loki felt his very soul wrench, touched and terrified simultaneously. He knew already which was to be his: the emerald flanked by topaz. He carefully plucked the tiny band from its seat and held it to the light for a better look. Along the inside of the band were engraved runes for love, luck, and loyalty, and on the emerald he could just make out a tiny glyph. ‘ _A Helm of Awe…?’_ The Nords had adopted this tradition from the Asgardians, so he knew well what it was and what it meant. For a fleeting moment, he wondered if (y/n) did. ‘ _Of course she does,’_ he scolded himself. ‘ _You know her better than to think she would be at all careless in the design of such a symbol.’_

 

He wrapped his hands around the ring and pressed them to his forehead, dizzy, and he pleaded. ‘ _Mother, if ever I desired your guidance, it was never more so than I do now.’_ He flicked his eyes around, but found not a hint of the golden strands of fate. Loki was on his own.

 

**(Your POV)**

A nice hot shower; that was what you needed. It cleared your sinuses, eased the pressure in your head, and sobered you up a bit more. Your skin was red from the scorching water, but you welcomed the burning as a physical manifestation of the overwhelming turmoil in your heart and head; and the pain helped ground you to reality. You took your time cleaning and drying yourself, slipping into your pajamas like a new set of skin that would protect your exposed nerve of a heart from the waiting barbs of the outside world.

 

Stepping out, you didn’t expect to find Loki sitting on the edge of the bed. He was rolling the ring boxes between his fingers and paused when you stepped into the room, glancing up sheepishly. ‘ _Has he been crying…?’_

 

“You’re still here,” you observed, almost numb.

 

“I brought your coffee,” he said softly.

 

Glancing at the bedside table, you saw the steaming mug. You strode over and took your spot on the edge of the bed next to him, letting the mug burn against your fingers as you held it.

 

“Thank you.”

 

He nodded.

 

Everything was empty now. Your bones, the air, the house, even Loki seemed empty as he slumped to lean his elbows on his knees. There was no anger or sadness, no pain, nothing. The two of you sat in silence as you sipped your coffee, and he continued to toy with the boxes. You flinched when his baritone broke that silence.

 

“When did you mean to propose?”

 

You kept your eyes fixed on the nothing in front of you. “Tonight, at the coffee house after dinner.”

 

“Tonight…” he chuckled, but it was a hollow sound. “Of course it was tonight.”

 

You could almost hear the gears in his head working, and you wondered what lies he was concocting now.

 

“(Y/n).”

 

You ignored him.

 

“(Y/n), look at me, please.”

 

You felt your head begin to turn, but stopped yourself before you went too far. Instead, you took another gulp of coffee. Loki sighed and slipped from the bed, standing on his knees in front of you. He set the ring boxes aside, took your mug and put it beside them, then set his large hands on either side of your face, trying to make you look at him.

 

“(Y/n), please,” the fresh pain in his voice almost swayed you. “Look at me. See me, know me. I am the same no matter the name or form. I have not fundamentally changed.”

 

“Pulling a curtain does not fundamentally change what it hides,” you retorted evenly, “and yet it was hidden.”

 

He sighed again, leaning to press his forehead to yours so you had nowhere else to look. Your whole world was filled with those eyes you knew so well. This close, you could see the flecks of black and faintest blue within the green, forming a constellation you had memorized. They were Loki’s eyes; they were Lani’s eyes. Your body started to tremble again.

 

“It is I, the same as before,” Loki whispered. His hands slid down your neck, across your shoulders, and down your arms. He slid your hands along his own until your fingers fell loosely around his wrists. His fingertips tickled as they traced your veins.

 

“It is I, who taught you to use a net, whom you taught to play Tak, who greets you each day you return home. It is I, who knows the patterns to draw on your back to ease you into sleep when your mind plagues you, whose own nightmares you chase away in kind. It is you who is mine, and I yours even now-“

 

You broke.

 

You threw yourself around him and he held you tightly.

 

“ _I hate you_!” you sobbed, slamming a fist against his back.

 

“I know.” Loki didn’t seem to feel it at all.

 

“I hate you! I hate you, I hate you _so fucking much_!”

 

His fingers were in your hair, sliding, stroking, soothing as he urged you to bleed out the emotional toxin. You sobbed more, you screamed and cursed, you hit him where he was armored as hard as you could. You poured all your rage into every strike, and he bore each one without flinching. Every doubt, every answer Lani never gave you, every half-truth you believed, every time she dared to question your own devotion. You didn’t want any of it anymore, and you expelled it all as maledictions you screamed into his hardened shoulder. Eventually, fatigue pulled irresistibly at you, and you slumped against his solid form. There was still pain inside, but you had no more energy to express it.

 

Loki lifted you easy as a feather and tucked you comfortably into your side of the bed. You sniffled, curling into the cool sheets. You couldn’t make out his expression as he stood and watched you for a moment, but when he turned to step away, you panicked. Your hand shot out to capture his wrist before you could realize.

 

“NO!” your voice was hoarse from your screaming, “No, please… please stay…”

 

He looked back at you again, then twisted his hand to grasp you in return. The familiar hold was comforting enough for you to release him. You watched his long legs carry him gracefully into the closet, listened to the rustle and clink of his princely clothes and boots being shed and arranged neatly, and waited anxiously for him to reappear. A moment later, he did, clad in black breeches and a loose long-sleeved green shirt. His dark hair was displaced, his eyes red; was this paining Loki as it did you? The bed sank under his weight as he slid under the covers beside you, and you allowed yourself to fall into the dip against him.

 

“Will this form do?” he asked.

 

“Just don’t go.” You gripped a handful of his soft cotton shirt until your knuckles went white.

 

Loki wrapped his long arm to frame your back and hold you close, fingers sliding tenderly across your cheek to urge a bit of hair from your face. You fought the pull of sleep, afraid you would wake and Loki would be gone, taking Lani and your heart with him.

 

“Teach me how to stop loving you, please.” You begged tiredly. “It hurts so much…”

 

“(Y/n), elskling, I would reveal to you the deepest secrets of the cosmos if you so desired, but what you ask I cannot teach.” You felt his head turn, his warm breath crawling through your hair as he spoke. “And even were I able to, I would not.”

 

You lifted your hand and dropped it in a weak attempt to hit him again. “You selfish bitch.”

 

He kissed your hair. “That I am.”


	24. Chapter 24

**(Loki’s POV)**

Loki slept uneasy. Despite his word to permit Loki two days’ time to settle his affairs, Loki could not overcome the suspicion Thor would instead try to steal him away while he was unawares. His brother had grown cleverer, but also inflexible, and Loki worried for what other disagreeable effects the past 12 years had had on the once wholesome God of Thunder. Usually in such a situation he would place traps and be done with it, but he did not want to risk (y/n) stumbling into them if she had the need to rise. He woke several times through the night, near in a panic, just to confirm he was still in his Oslo home with (y/n) clinging to him possessively. When he woke yet again, he knew he would not return to slumber. He could feel it was morning, but early, and (y/n) was still sleeping soundly wrapped in his arms.

 

He memorized the press of her against him, the shape his arm formed framing her back and the curve of her hip in his hand, the gentle rise and fall of her shoulder, her warm breath seeping through his shirt and crawling across his skin. With his magic returned and Thor’s arrival, Loki’s plan to rule Earth was all but discarded. He had reconsidered it only because he had been trapped here, but now he could move about when and where he pleased. ‘ _And the only reason left to remain is slumbering in my grasp.’_ Without (y/n), the Earth meant nothing. _‘And if Thor is so weary of the throne as he seems, his sentiment of our both being kings to Asgard will work in my favor. It would be mine once again!’_ The thought did not please him as much as he hoped it would; for what was a king without a queen?

 

He momentarily considered turning her into a small snake or lizard and tucking her away in his pocket to sneak off with him to Asgard. It was impractical, however, and Loki knew it would solidify (y/n)’s present contempt for him. Loki pressed his nose into her hair. Were she so long lived as he, Loki could afford the time for her to come to terms without worry for her dwindling years. As was, even he for all his talents had not the power to preserve her. He chewed his lip. ‘ _There must be a way… There is **always** a way.’_

 

(Y/n) shifted against his tightening hold, groaning softly as she joined him in the waking world. He released, watching her stretch and yawn almost cat-like, his shirt still in her iron grip. 

 

“Good morning,” he said, unable to mask his own lingering fatigue.

 

 She hummed a response, sitting up slowly and releasing him to rub at her eyes as she came around. Then she groaned and pressed a palm to her temple. “Oh…My head…”

 

He chuckled. “Due to all your weeping, most likely.”

 

She groaned again in protest.

 

“Do you recall anything of last night?” he ventured.

 

She was quiet for a moment, glancing around and considering, then turning to him with rekindled betrayal in her eyes. “Yes, actually. I remember everything.”

 

Her address stung. The distance between them returned then, and it quickly filled with the anger, pain, defiance, and desperation of the night before. They considered each other for a long, quiet moment, and he felt her withdrawing from him. The undefined thing that had snapped between them was still broken. When words failed her, (y/n) pushed the blankets away and made to rise. Loki curled his fingers around her elbow to delay her.

 

“Which troubles you more: who I am or that it was for so long hidden from you?”

 

Surely, she could answer that for him. Instead, she sighed heavily and pulled away. Loki sat up to watch her disappear behind the bathroom door. He could sense her want for space, as much as it pained him, so he rose as well, pulled on his over clothes minus his coat, and settled himself in the living room to wait. He had only a day to reach a new understanding with his beloved and it made him impatient, but he knew it was critical to allow her to come to him of her own volition.

 

By the time (y/n) appeared again, Loki had flipped through several chapters of his current book, pretending to read. He set it aside and gave her his attention. She merely watched him from across the room, and he could almost see the broken cogs of her head and heart attempting to turn in harmony once more. He tread carefully.

 

“Would it ease you were I to change form?”

 

She pursed her lips and shook her head. “I don’t rightly know, Lani…” She winced and corrected herself. “Apologies. Loki.”

 

He frowned. “They are both names I bear; you are free to invoke whichever pleases you.”

 

She seemed to want to argue, but only drew a deep breath, nodded, and stepped off to the kitchen. Again, he waited, listening to her shuffle about.

 

He was pleasantly surprised when she returned with a simple breakfast for them both, maintaining their morning ritual. It wasn’t unheard of that she saw to meals, but it was certainly noteworthy when she did, and that she chose to do so now gave him hope. She sat beside him on their couch, he thanked her, she nodded, and they ate in silence for a time. Loki could feel that she was still deciding something, but the distance between them was insufferable. He ached for some gesture of affection, any confirmation that they were still connected somehow. Cautiously, he ran the back of a finger along the side of her knee. She froze at first but then brushed away the crumbs of toast and drew his hand into her lap. As she spoke, he could feel the immensity of her effort.

 

“There is a lot about all this that I don’t have answers to. Too much is happening too quickly for me to process right now, and honestly, I’m a little lost at sea in the details. What I  _do_  know is that I want to figure it out. I want you to help me understand so that maybe we can salvage whatever we have left, but that would take time, and I don’t think we have that.”

 

She glanced to him for confirmation, and he nodded. “Thor plans for us to depart as soon as tomorrow.”

 

“And I get the feeling he is not one to be rebuked.”

 

Loki chuckled humorlessly. “Not usually, no.”

 

(Y/n) nodded. “Then…we should make the most of the time we have left.”

 

He canted his head, seeking confirmation. “You do still desire my company, then?”

 

She sighed again. “I can’t help it… I always felt there was something different about you, something more you weren’t telling me. It’d be different if I didn’t suspect anything, but… Loki, Lani, like this or like her, I…I still love you. I have so many questions, but I get the feeling I’m better off not knowing some of the answers. I can be alright with that, considering who and what you are.”

 

Loki dared a smirk. “And here I thought you hated me.”

 

She gave him a bland look. “Fine line, and all that.”

 

He hummed his amusement and drew her hand up to place a kiss on her knuckles. He wanted to commend her for handling the situation with such grace but knew it would only try her already thin patience. So, he slid his arm around her hips and continued breakfast. After a moment, she did the same.

 

Their pleasant accord was not to last.

 

With breakfast finished and morning chores completed, they curled together on the couch and started a movie neither was truly watching. Loki figured a bit of normalcy would ease her before he needed to broach what he and Thor had discussed the night before. About half-way through the film, (y/n) gave in to her curiosity and asked the questions he knew were plaguing her.

 

“Where do we go from here?” It was rhetorical. Loki paused the movie and gave her his full attention, waiting for her to speak again. “Will you ever return? Do you even  _want_  to?”

 

He frowned. It seemed he would not have to wait to have this conversation. “It is not a matter of desire, rather possibility.”

 

 She gave him a questioning look. 

 

“I do not know the details of what Thor requires of me, neither the situation on New Asgard. I may be occupied for years, or I might be able to steal away after a few months.”

 

“And what becomes of us in that time? I love you still, despite everything and with all my heart, but I can’t spend my life waiting for something that may never happen or someone that doesn't even...” She trailed off. They sat up and away from each other. “Even if you do come back, how long will it be for? You’ll either want or need to go home again eventually, and I won’t stay young forever. I know I can’t go with you either. If that were possible or if you had wanted me to, you would have said so by now.”

 

She did not need to speak the words; her voice explained her intention for them to go their separate ways. Usually, her sense of rationality when faced with an issue sat well with Loki, but in this moment, it served only to infuriate him.

 

“You jest, of course.” He smirked, attempting to force the mood back to something pleasant, but (y/n) only shook her head. She was not joking. He scoffed. “That’s it, then, is it? This all ends with little more than a bittersweet valediction?”

 

She gave him a worn look. “How else was this going to end, Loki, hm? Presume Thor never came for you. How long were you going to stay with me before finding someone fresh and spry? Or did you think I hadn’t noticed the way you’ve not aged in almost six years? How long do gods like you even live? This can’t have been more than a vacation to you, fling and all.”

 

The accusation cut him deep, fanning the flames with their insult and they spat at one another like vipers.

 

“Is _that_ what you make of this?”

 

“What does half a decade even mean to you in the long run?” she attempted to justify her stance.

 

“How would _you_ value time were you stranded?”

 

“So, I was your safe haven, your entertainment, then? And now that Thor has come to your rescue, the show’s over.”

 

“You dare think me so indifferent to you?!”

 

“You can’t even say you  _love_  me! What else am I supposed to think?!”

 

“I have explained that to you already, or are you incapable of comprehending?”

 

“Incapable of-?! Fine. No, Loki, I do  _not_  understand!” She all but jumped from the couch to snarl down at him. “Please, be gracious to this poor ignorant mortal and explain again, maybe in detail this time!”

 

Loki squared his shoulders as he rose and hissed right back. “To you they may be only words weighted by sentiment, but for those like myself, they are an oath; and oaths are binding on a cosmic level, just as prophecies are.” She deflated slightly, but Loki did not relent. “To break one bears consequences beyond death itself, and I like my soul where it is, thank you. I will  _not_  swear such a thing if I am not absolutely certain I can honor it; not even to allay  _your_  fears, my darling.”

 

She was quiet for a moment, then questioned brazenly. “…Would you; if you could?”

 

He swallowed hard. “Yes.”

 

Loki could almost see each memory she was reexamining reflected in her eyes as revelation lit within them. The venom between them dissolved. She shook her head and pressed her face into her hands. She waivered, dizzy, and he held her steady. He knew she was remembering their years together, seeing them in a new light, and the significance of it weighed visibly on her shoulders as she caved.

 

“You were right; you _did_ tell me you loved me, each and every day, any way you could.”

 

He took her gently by the arms as she began to shake, pulled her close as she sobbed, and placed a kiss on her forehead. He could feel her valiant struggle, but she could not contain herself.

 

“Please, don’t go! Please!!” she cried, grasping his arms. Her fingers dug into his flesh until they left bruises. 

 

Loki closed his eyes as she continued to beg, attempting to let it wash over him ineffectually.

 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t see, that I was so selfish! I’ll do better, I swear, just please _stay_! Go back to Thor and tell him he can’t take you! You’re _mine!_ You belong _with **me**!_ _Tell him, Lani_!” She shuddered a breath. “Loki, please, tell him… Make him go away so we can return to our life…”

 

They both knew it was not possible. Loki could not stay, and this day was their farewell. He wrapped her fully in his arms, and tried to calm her. She clung to him even once her tears were spent, slowly regaining her composure. He was stiff by the time she steadied and pulled back to smile up at him. She was putting on a brave face again, for his sake. He had always been able to tell when her gallantry was contrived, but it was necessary this time, so he let it pass.

 

“Everything will be alright,” she proclaimed. “Whatever happens, it’ll be okay.”

 

Loki could not tell which of them she was attempting to convince.

 

“Promise me one thing?” He quirked a brow. “Promise you will at least try to come back, even if it’s just to see my grave.”

 

He did not even need to consider. “You have my word; I will try.”

 

The air shifted in a way he could not place. “Then, I will wait.”

 

Loki blinked, bemused. “You said you could not.”

 

“And I meant it. I cannot wait if I have no assurance, but I have that now. I know you’ll try, because I know you love me, you always did; and…I believe in you.”

 

Loki’s insides seized, taken completely by surprise. “You…what?”

 

“I believe in you,” she said again.

 

Loki knew he shouldn’t have questioned it, but he could not understand. “How? Why? By your own claim, I have deceived and betrayed you, caused you heartbreak and threatened your very livelihood. How can you have any faith at all left?”

 

“Who can say why anyone has faith in the first place? You have not once broken your word to me. You’re a trickster, but I know you still have your honor, in whatever form it takes. You’ve given me a word I can trust; and your people need you… Besides, how long and often did you wait for _me_?”

 

Loki blinked, further perplexed by the dissonant yet noble creature in his arms. (Y/n) reached to set her hand gently against his cheek, speaking with that regal authority he adored.

 

“I believe in you, Loki. I know you’ll come back.” 

 

Something bloomed within him then, something he could not name or place, but it filled him to the brim.

 

“Do you know what such a declaration means to a god?” he asked softly.

 

 “Anything similar to a god saying ‘I love you’?”

 

 “Near enough, yes.” He shifted to press his forehead to hers. In truth, it had nothing to do with deities or words of power, and everything to do with the redemption he still would not admit he craved. “Say it for me again, elskling.”

 

“I believe in you, Loki.”

 

Loki, King of New Asgard, Son of Frigga, swelled with aplomb. (Y/n) loved him even now, and she was still his: his lover, his cohort, his devoted one. Loki claimed those sweet lips and she returned his breathless passion until he feared they would melt into one another. Loki knew now that he had a queen in all but name and power. He need only find a means to keep her through the ages; and when he did, every realm, every world would know them both in kind and cower in fear and adulation. The universe itself would accept his declaration; or he would watch it burn.

 

 

**(Your POV)**

‘ _Lani, Loki, Loki, Lani; I can sort it out later. I only have a little time with them left!’_

 

It took every trick you knew to suspend your disbelief and fall into this fairytale farewell. Never before had you seen your beloved dance on clouds as they did now with mad glee in their eyes. Over and over they had you tell them you believed in them, but you didn’t grow tired of saying it.

 

The movie was completely forgotten. Your darling insisted the two of you spend the day in indulgence, and you couldn’t argue that it seemed the best way to capstone things. ‘ _Go out with a bang, and all that; Loki did promise to try to return, but there’s no assurance as to when that will be. Might as well get all of it out now.’_ At first you hesitated when Loki insisted you both wear your absolute best, but the exuberance of your mischief maker was not to be argued.

 

You had your lady at your side again, donning her golden blouse, flowing black skirt, and sheer green shrug water-falling down her back. You shimmed once more into your Venus-cut blue dress with silver brocade. You couldn’t help but feel silly slipping on your accessories and giving your hair a simple, but elegant style. You knew you would receive strange looks for it from the people in town today and for long after Loki was gone. It didn’t matter. It was all a dream anyway, and you weren’t about to wake yourself.

 

You drove to town and waltzed from place to place, ignoring the lingering glances and visiting all your favorite places together one last time. Museums, the botanical gardens, the coffee shop and bakery. You even convinced Loki to sit the photo booth, for fear of forgetting her face. She would not let you join her, however.

 

“Since you absolutely _insist_ on such a frivolous thing, it may as well be done properly.”

 

She gave you her usual impish grin before disappearing behind the curtain, and you waited anxiously. She slipped out a minute later, and you both inspected the four-image strip. There was a profile and a straight shot of both of Loki’s forms. You knew already what you would do with the profiles. Loki quirked her lip.

 

“Not the best quality, are they?”

 

You smirked at her. “Would you like to try it again?”

 

She made a face and you laughed, tucking the strip safely away in your clutch.

 

One last dinner. The restaurant you frequented for date night was less than busy, and they gladly allowed you to pick your own table. Loki chose one near the glass wall overlooking the harbor with a clear view of the darkening sky. When the auroras appeared, you nearly lost hold of your courage. You hid behind your napkin as though afraid you would sneeze until your misting eyes dried. Loki knew, though, and she laced her fingers with yours and gave you a genuine smile. You could see in her eyes that there was something she wanted to say but could not. You knew now what it was, and what it had always been.

 

“I love you, too”, you ventured, and were rewarded with a kiss on your knuckles.

 

By dessert you were both spent, feet aching from your day-long walk-about. The drive home felt longer than usual, and you saw Loki eye the hostel along the way. You glanced at it as well and found it uncharacteristically active. You could guess why.

 

“Is that where Thor is staying?”

 

“By my suggestion. I figured reveling in his celebrity would keep him well occupied.”

 

“Seems you were right.” …You took your foot off the accelerator and the car began to slow. You sent Loki mischievous glance. “Would you like to pay him a visit?”

 

The grin that broke across her face was maniacal. She knew what you were thinking; after all, not all the fun the two of you had was Loki’s idea.

 

“Under normal circumstances, I would desire nothing else. Perhaps next time.”

 

‘ _Next time…’_ you considered, and you let that thought comfort you.


	25. Chapter 25

_A/N: And finally, I have caught up! I do hope this revised version is as much to your liking and enjoyment as the first draft. Thank you again to my readers for their helpful suggestions on how to improve not only the story, but myself as a writer. All of my love to you. That said, this will be the last update for this story for a while. I want to catch up on my other work, The Long Road to Freedom, and I am putting more time into an original piece I hope to publish within the year. This story is not abandoned; it WILL continue, but please do not expect anything anytime soon. Comments are always appreciated so I know coming back to it is worth the time.    And with that, let’s get to it!!_

**_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**(Your POV)**

The weight of the day began to settle while you prepared for bed. Had anything been left undone? Nothing came to mind immediately but watching a male Loki slip under the sheets of your bed gave you a thought. You plucked a worn book from the stack at your bedside before joining him. He examined the cover when you handed it over.

 

“We’ve read this one several times already, kjaere,” he quirked a brow.

 

“I know, but I’d like to have a memory of you in this form where we _aren’t_ screaming at each other and I’m not crying.”

 

He considered for a moment, then nodded. “Alright, then.”

 

You fit yourself into the crook of his shoulder, laying an arm across his midriff, and he propped the book up in a single large hand. You hadn’t realized exactly how long his fingers were until now, finely shaped and tapered. While he read, you etched him into your memory. You followed the curve of his palm down into his wrist, solid yet seemly, continued the length of his forearm and memorized the branching of his veins beneath that pale skin. His fingers worked like spider legs to turn the page, his chest pressing firmly against your cheek when he drew breath. You could feel his timber reverberating as he spoke, each word enunciated like a work of art. He knew your favorite lines, and he turned his head to breathe them warmly through your hair. He knew you loved that; knew how to tease your skin with his fingertips to soothe you. These and other undefinable things Loki knew, because he _was_ your Lani and always had been. Your darling lady was not gone, just different.

 

You ran your own fingers along his belly, drawing your nameless shapes and sending shivers through him in return. _’I wonder, if everything else seems the same, is his skin like satin as well?’_ You knew what finding out would do to him, but you honestly weren’t above a little revenge. You eased your fingers down to the hem of his shirt and slipped them under. You heard his heart quicken. When your fingertips met his skin, his words faltered; when your nails skimmed, his breath hitched.

 

“You know how dangerous that is,” he warned even as he pressed into your hand.

 

You feigned innocence. “I just wanted to know if your skin felt the same as before.”

 

“And?”

 

You ran your fingers along the line of his ribs to his side and tucked your arm around him. You knew better than to tease him more than this if you weren’t looking for a different kind of reaction.

 

“Just how I remember.”

 

He placed a lingering kiss on your hair, his heartbeat calmed again, and he resumed the book. You both fought sleep for as long as you could, taking turns reading to keep alert. Eventually, it had its way with you both. Loki clung to you just as you did to him, well aware this was the last night you would share a bed for Hel only knew how long. You slumbered lightly, waking to every shift and sound to make sure you weren’t alone. You often found Loki’s bleary green eyes doing the same. You were both still tired when you woke a final time to the indisputable signs of day.

 

“What time is it?” Loki asked, groggy.

 

“I don’t care.” You tightened your hold on him.

 

“My love…” he urged.

 

“No.” You weren’t ready to let go.

 

Rage and sorrow burned equally in your chest and found its way to your eyes. Loki thumbed away a few of the escaped tears and pecked your nose.

 

“It would be best if Thor was not made to fetch me himself.”

 

You sniffled and crushed him in your arms for as long as your muscles held out. Perhaps, if you held tightly enough, it might keep him here. It was childish logic, dissolving as quickly as it formed. Clinging and screaming weren’t going to help. You chose to believe what you felt, that this was as difficult for Loki as it was for you. The best thing you could do was to make it as easy as possible for the both of you.

 

“Okay.” You drew a steadying breath. “Okay.” You were as ready as you were going to be.

 

You untangled and escaped the bed before you could change your mind. You both fell into your usual morning routine without question, freshening up and making your way to the kitchen. Out of habit, Loki began pulling together dishes for breakfast, but it felt somehow wrong this morning. You walked over and set a hand atop his to halt him. He questioned you with a glance.

 

“Let me today… I feel like I should.” When he quirked a brow, you clarified, “I want to.”

 

A smirk played at the corner of his lips and he conceded. He seated himself at the dining table where he could watch you, an elbow propped up and his chin resting lightly on his knuckles, free hand on his knee regally. You tried to ignore the feel of his eyes on you every moment, tracking each movement and gesture. Scrambled eggs, smoked salmon, toast and jam, and coffee; an especial meal for a morose occasion. You set the table and he waited for you to seat yourself before eating as you always did with him. You could tell your salmon wasn’t quite right, but Loki didn’t tease you for it and, in fact, cleared his plate.

 

“Takk, min kjaere,” he thanked you, placing a kiss on your hair before disappearing to the shower.

 

You collected and rinsed the dishes, fighting against the burning in your chest that returned the moment he left your sight. ‘ _He’s coming back. This isn’t really good-bye.’_ you thought over and over, trying to make the words stick, but they were empty. Something inside you warned that this was it; this was the last you would ever see of Loki. ‘ _No! He promised!’_ you argued against it, but it wouldn’t be quieted. Defiant, you dried your hands and returned to the bedroom to wait for him, making the bed and laying his clothes out neatly. You dressed and worried at one of his boots with a soft cloth you used for your own work shoes, still trying to silence the nagging paranoia.  

 

Seeing his face again did the trick. He grinned at you, combing through his hair.

 

“If you were insistent enough to go so far as to polish my boots, I wonder why you could not also offer to wash my back,” he bemoaned.

 

For a moment, you considered throwing the boot at him. As though reading your mind, he eyed you warily until you set the boot down and placed your hands neatly in your lap with a patient smile. Only then did he approach the bed to begin dressing. You watched him slither into piece after piece, and plucked up one you anticipated he would need next. You were correct he requested it from you with a hand, and instead you rose to your feet.

 

“Show me where it goes?”

 

“(Y/n), you are not my dressing-hand…” He seemed almost insulted by your choosing to act as such.

 

You refused to drop your eyes, but worried at the bit of reinforced leather. “Please, let me do this for you.”

 

After a moment he sighed and raised his arm, showing you where around his side and back it belonged. He indulged you through to the end, turning and angling as needed for you to set, adjust, and buckle it all in place. You held his coat so he could shrug into it easily, smoothing it along his shoulders. You folded and tucked his sleeves into place so he could set his golden gauntlets, and when he was finished, you tugged lightly at them to ensure they were solid. The cold, unforgiving metal made you realize Loki’s time away could be dangerous, and you prayed as you traced the intricate designs carve into them. ‘ _Protect him, please, keep him in one piece to return to me.’_ Loki drew you close, pressing your forehead against the hard leather of his chest piece. This one as well, you pleaded with, placing a kiss on the curved gold band.

 

“You will keep yourself well, yes?” he asked.

 

“I will take care of myself, of course,” you assured him.

 

He stepped away, taking your hands and pressing your knuckles against his lips.

 

“You have already done more on my behalf and for my sake than I can say, but I must beg your indulgence for two last requests.”

 

“Whatever you need.”

 

Loki nodded and moved to fetch the ring boxes that still sat on the bedside table. He placed them in your hands, curling your fingers tightly and pressing them firmly against your chest.

 

 “Safeguard these for me. I _will_ return for mine.”

 

“That, you needn’t have asked,” you almost laughed.

 

He nodded, then furrowed his brows. “I also need you to…” he trailed off as though not wanting to ask. “Pass a message on to Stark.”

 

You frowned. “ _Tony_ Stark?”

 

He nodded, still displeased. “Please tell him Thor can be found at the Viking Ship museum in Oslo.”

 

You blinked at him. “Isn’t that cliché?”

 

“Perhaps, but these things must be kept simple for simpletons.”

 

The fact that Loki, God of Mischief, just called genius Tony Stark a simpleton was the most hilarious thing you had heard all morning. You broke out laughing, and Loki nodded solemnly while still managing to look quite pleased with himself. You couldn’t help but appreciate the joke.

 

You caught your breath. “Consider it done.”

  

Loki nodded and drew you in for a long, deep embrace. “Say it for me once more, my dear.”

 

Your chest burned again, but you held it back, keeping your voice clear and full of conviction for him. “I believe in you; Loki, my love.” 

 

His arms tightened, crushing you against him until you couldn’t breathe. Then, all at once, he released and stepped away from you. The expression on his face was peaceful as he melted into a cloud of black smoke and was gone. Just gone. No final kiss, no good-bye. Just…gone. It sent you into a state of shock. As though responding to an unperceived trigger, you found yourself meandering into the living room with the ring boxes still in your hands. You clung to the last vestiges of strength within; you still had a task to complete. You set your work laptop on the coffee table and pulled up your e-mail. You couldn’t register just how much of a breach of etiquette it would be, and even if you could you wouldn’t care. You pulled the years-old old e-mail from “Happy” Hogan from your archives and composed a simple message.

_“Dear Mr. Hogan,_

_I have been asked to inform Mr. Stark that Thor of Asgard can be found at the Viking Ship museum in Oslo, Norway. As I do not have a way to contact him myself, I would greatly appreciate it if you would pass the message along to him._

_Very respectfully,_

_(Y/f/n) (Y/l/n)”_

 

You proofread it out of habit, clicked “send”, and slumped back on the couch. You’d done as Loki asked, and he was gone. The burning in your chest returned, but you didn’t fight it this time. The tears streamed down your face without sobs, sinking into your skin and spreading like Novocain. Time meant nothing, hunger meant nothing, all you knew was the struggle to take your next breath; alone.

 

**(Loki’s POV)**

(Y/n) had exampled every aspect of fortitude, duty, and nobility Loki could have hoped to expect from his future queen; he could not have been prouder. That was all behind him now, though. He had to put it out of his mind, out of his heart, and focus on the task at hand.

He appeared in an inconspicuous corner outside the hostel where Thor still waited and assumed the appearance of a generic local male. It would be too easy for him to come across someone that recognized the face of Lani, and it would raise too many questions.

Inside, the boarders were still breakfasting, and it was a simple matter to locate his brother. Loki need only find the loudest throng of people. Sure enough, he found the God of Thunder conversing in Old Asgardian with his new acquaintances. Loki waited patiently for him to finish his meal and trailed him outside. Once he was a fair distance from the others, Loki approached.

 

Thor gave him a polite smile and greeting, which Loki did not bother answering.

 

“I am ready, brother, when you are.”

 

Thor took a moment, then nodded once he understood.

 

“Then, let us be on our way.”

 

Loki nodded. “Though, tell me, how do you plan to contact your old friend, Stark?”

 

Thor frowned. “I have been exploring options.”

 

Loki hummed, unimpressed. “Lucky for you, I have already done so.”

 

“How?”

 

Loki began walking along the gravel path, drawing Thor with him toward the city. “Always you are surprised by such things. Here I thought you had grown used to them by now.”

 

“It is more the manner in which you accomplish them that concerns me, rather than the fact they are accomplished.” Thor fell into step beside him.

 

Loki ignored the unspoken question, though it was a fair concern. “Since you intend to return to Asgard with me, perhaps we should discuss how you intend to introduce me to your friend.”

 

“Yes, he would not be exactly pleased to see you, would he?” Thor looked Loki up and down. “I suppose you could be my servant.”

 

Loki chuckled. “I think not. Guard, perhaps.”

 

“I suppose that would do, though not as well.”

 

Loki resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Thor grinned. They bantered idly as they walked, and when Thor asked about Loki’s companion, he deftly avoided the question.

 

“I do hope your worshipers do not delay us. We are expected.”

 

“Indeed? Where?”

 

“At one of the museums. I doubt Stark himself will show, but his lackies are all about. Surely one of them will seek us out there now that he is aware you are on Earth.”

 

Although Loki took the most direct path he knew to the museum, they were, as he feared, detained here and there by those who recognized Thor. It was New York all over again before they encountered that detestable so-called wizard. They did manage to arrive at their destination and seated themselves outside to wait beneath overcast skies. The silence between them felt natural, so neither was inclined to break it, and Loki was thankful. They watched the people pass, a few stopping for Thor, and this time Loki actually did roll his eyes. Eventually, a highly polished black car with tinted windows pulled up in front of them. From the passenger side came a severe looking man in a suit and sunglasses. He examined Loki and Thor, removed his glasses, and looked again.

 

“Point Break?”

 

Thor chuckled and rose. “I am he. Did Stark send you?”

 

“He did. Please come with us.”

 

The man opened the rear passenger door, and Thor slipped inside. The driver did the same for Loki. Once they were each settled and buckled, the pulled off, and Loki closed his eyes for the length of the drive, listening, pondering, and scheming.

 

 _“(y/n), my star,”_ he thought as though he could force the words into her mind, “ _wait for me.”_


	26. Chapter 26

_A/N: Okay, maybe I lied, but it just kind of wrote itself without me noticing. You know how it happens sometimes. >_> I think I really just wanted to get Loki back to Asgard before putting a pin in the story. Seemed a better place to leave off. Let me know what you think!  
  
______________________________________________________________________________________________ ****  
  
(Loki’s POV)  
A hotel in Oslo; the penthouse suite; Loki overlooking the city from the balcony; Thor conversing with Stark on a viewing pad; lightening in the distance; the promise of rain.  
   
Loki felt each heartbeat in detail, felt his blood gush from one chamber to the next before rushing out into his arteries, pulsing through his veins, and returning once more to his heart. He felt the static in the air keenly, tasted the sweet storm that approached on every part of his tongue, and watched the humans follow their concrete paths below like ants in a child’s science project. He kept his eyes on the city, not allowing himself to glance out toward the lake where his home-… where _her_ home…stood; where _she_ was. When the temptation became too great, he retreated inside, leaving the door open to welcome the cool, moist breeze.   
   
He set himself on the loveseat like a throne, sprawling comfortably and setting his cheekbone against a knuckle. His long fingers tapped at the arm in a slow, deliberate rhythm, one finger after the other, each in its own time, and he attempted to quiet the restlessness that slithered around in his stomach.  
   
A knock at the door.  
   
Loki was on his feet in a breath, crossed the room in three great strides, and tore the door open. Room service. His heart dropped. Had he truly been so naïve as to think it could possibly be (y/n)? ‘ _I’m supposed to have put her behind me for now but…_ ’ He stood aside to permit the man with the cart entry, watched as he set the dining table with the fare, and then locked the door behind him. Thor was still speaking to Stark in the adjoining room, so Loki examined the table, plucked a grape from the bunch and lifted it to his lips. His stomach protested immediately. He set it beside its fellows still on their stems. Loki seated himself once more on the loveseat, elbows on his knees, and conjured a dagger to practice with while he continued to wait.  
   
At long last, Thor emerged and placed the clear tablet on the counter. Now that he was certain no one would see, Loki released his guise. Thor considered the food on the table for a moment, noticed how nothing had been taken, and then regarded Loki.  
   
“Are you not hungry, brother?”    
   
Loki kept his eyes fixed on his hands as he continued to dance his blade between his fingers, voice empty. “I ate before meeting you. Please, help yourself.”  
   
“Loki, that was hours ago…” Thor noted with concern. “Take a bit of bread, at least.”  
   
“I am not hungry, but thank you.”  
   
Thor plucked something from a plate and came to stand before Loki, offering a bit of cheese.  
   
Loki paused, grasping his blade by the handle. He eyed the cheese, then Thor. “…Will it quiet you?”  
   
Thor nodded, and Loki took it with a sigh, forced it past his lips, and swallowed without chewing. For himself, Thor took a full plate of meats, breads, cheese, fruits, and a small block of honey comb. He sat himself on the couch caddy corner to Loki and place the plate on the table between them, no doubt hoping to tempt him.  
   
“You seem anxious,” Thor said, choosing a morsel from the spread.  
   
“I am considering Asgard,” Loki excused. “If the situation is as dire as you’ve made it out to be, then immediate action must be taken upon our return.”  
   
“You were never one to fret over details you did not yet have. What else is troubling you?”  
   
Loki examined the dagger in his hand. In truth, there was indeed something else on his mind other than (y/n) or Asgard; but how to broach the subject without giving away too much? He urged his lingering sentiment to bleed from the thought of (y/n) to Thor. Not an ideal solution, but it allowed him to fully tuck her memory into a dark recess of his mind, the way he knew he needed. As for his brother…  
   
Loki licked his lips, flicking his eyes to Thor before resting them again on his blade. “If I am forced to be brutally honest,” The words were abrasive on his tongue, but he spoke them nevertheless, “I find myself concerned for your state.”  
   
Thor’s hand slowed and paused to rest the grape in his fingers on his lips, his gaze dropping to the floor. “How do you mean?”  
   
“There is something less about you now, mean and hesitant. This is not the Thor I once knew.”  
   
“You aren’t exactly the Loki I once knew, either, so I suppose we both are strangers to one another again.” He, like Loki before him, set the grape back on the plate.  
   
Loki’s lips drew into a thin line. Thor had never been good at hiding what he was feeling, and Loki saw in him a vague inclination of remorse or regret. Loki convinced himself it was purely in the interest of understanding what had transpired as he rose, strode cautiously around the table, and seated himself beside his brother. He waved his dagger away, leaned forward on his knees, hands clasped, and regarded Thor with a sideways glance.  
   
“It is true that we are much altered from our days of boyhood, but no matter the circumstances or happenings, there are some things that do not change without significant cause.” Loki let his words sink in for a moment before continuing, inquiring in earnest. “Thor, my brother, what is the weight you bear which steals the light from your eye?”  
   
Thor slowly leaned back into the couch, gaze distant and fixed on the nothing before him. He worried at his hands, quiet for a long time. _‘Perhaps considering how much he can trust me,’_ Loki thought.  
   
“Thor; please. We cannot work in harmony if I do not know what burdens your heart.”  
   
 Thor’s mouth worked as he tried to find words, lips quivering when he found them but could not speak them, and tears welled in his eye. He drew a deep breath, and looked to the god beside him. Loki had never seen such pain on Thor’s face in all their years, not even when their mother was murdered.  
   
“All this; it is my fault,” Thor whispered. He drew another, shaky, breath. “I should have gone for the head…”  
   
Loki squinted and tilted his head in question. Thor placed a hand across his eyes, and Loki waited patiently for him to collect himself.  
   
“I placed the blame for Hela and Ragnarok at your feet, yet I am the one guilty of a crime far greater. Once again, I allowed my emotions to rule me, and because of that, Thanos-…”  
   
Loki watched Thor struggle in vain to speak through his clenched throat. He did not need Thor to explain further; Loki was sharp enough to piece it together. Thanos’s snap was Thor’s failure. As Thor leaned forward, face in his hands, Loki placed a tentative hand on his trembling shoulder. Not even his silver tongue could find words to ease his brother’s anguish. A distraction instead, perhaps. Loki waited the great while for Thor to calm and licked his dry lips.  
   
“What did you and Stark talk about?”  
   
Thor sat himself up slowly, hands falling limp between his legs and Loki removed his hand from Thor’s shoulder. “He will arrive tomorrow afternoon to take us to the Bifrost site. Apparently, far more progress was made on it than I had been led to believe, so we should be able to depart within a day or so.”  
   
“The sooner the better, yes?”  
   
Thor’s lips quirked into an empty smile, appreciative of Loki’s apparent attempt to cheer him. Words felt wrong now with the air so heavy with Thor’s shame, and Loki rubbed his hands together in slow circles as he tried to feel out a way to remove himself from the uncomfortable situation without appearing callous. He eyed the plate of food. Nothing on it was appealing, and his stomach was knotted from even the small bit of cheese he’d swallowed, but he reached across Thor and pulled it closer. If he ate, perhaps it would soothe his brother enough to allow him a graceful parting for the night.  
   
He nudged a strawberry away and extracted a slice of meat, chewing only as much as was needed before swallowing. He forced down another morsel, then another, and then Thor began doing the same. Between them, they emptied the plate until only the honeycomb remained. Each eyed it, considering the same thing, but Thor acted first. He slid the plate in front of Loki.  
   
“It’s the last of such a delicacy you’ll chance to have for some time,” he reasoned.  
   
Loki nodded his gratitude, unwilling to argue with Thor in such a precarious state. He allowed the honeycomb to melt on his tongue despite his body’s complaints, attempting to relish it to no avail. He forced himself to swallow, shuddering against the sensation before licking his fingers clean. Thor rose soon after and made his way around the table.  
   
“I think I will retire.”  
   
Loki glanced at the digital clock; it was only seven thirty, but this was the exit he sought. “Good night, then, brother.”  
   
Thor did not answer, did not wave or spare Loki any sort of glance before disappearing into the bedroom. Loki watched after him for a long moment. _‘Something inside you is truly dead now, isn’t it?’_ He could not help his bitter smile. ‘ _Perhaps now you will understand what it is like…’_  
*****  
Morning came and melted into afternoon. Between them, they finished off the last of the room service, and Thor took the second honeycomb at Loki’s insistence. As promised, Tony Stark arrived at the hotel, Loki resumed his guise, and the brothers went down to meet him. Stark was a far cry from the rambunctious yet suave man that had once threatened Loki with a Hulk. His hair was almost entirely grey, his youth had completely faded, and he looked worn to the bone. It did not stop him from breaking into a broad grin and throwing his arms open in welcome.  
   
“Point Break!! How have you been?”  
   
Thor strode forward and embraced his old friend carefully. Loki watched from a polite distance, silently gloating about his own lengthy prime.  
   
“It is good to see you, too, Stark.”  
   
“You grew your hair back out, I see. And,” Tony lowered his sunglasses to look closer, “what happened to your eye? I thought Rabbit gave you a new one.”  
   
“Rocket,” Thor corrected politely, “and unfortunately, like the original, I lost it in battle.” He didn’t address his longer hair.  
   
“Uh huh. You really need to stop doing that, you know. One day you might lose the other; and I can tell you: one eye patch definitely works with the ladies, makes you seem roguish; two, eeeh, not so much.” Thor chuckled and Stark looked around him to Loki. “You must be….Earl? Erland?”  
   
“Erland,” Thor corrected.  
   
Loki gave a stiff half-bow in greeting  
   
“Right. Well, now that we’re all friends,” Stark motioned to the car. As Thor ducked inside, Stark pointed at him and addressed Loki. “You gotta tell me, what’s it like running around with this guy these days?”  
   
Loki forced a civil expression as he followed Thor’s example. “I could not aptly put it to words, sir.”  
   
Stark looked disappointed only for a moment before shrugging and sliding in behind them. While Thor and Loki attempted to find a comfortable position for their long legs, Tony closed his eyes and took a short breather in his seat until the car pulled away.  
   
“So,” he said, rolling his head to look at Thor, “Tell me, what are we looking at? What do you need?”  
   
Loki watched and listened while Stark and Thor discussed details of what New Asgard required as well as what Stark could provide and when. While it was admirable that Stark was still willing to offer aid, Loki doubted it would be enough or in time to matter. If Thor suspected the same, he gave no indication, whole-heartedly accepting Stark’s offers. _‘They discuss only food, clothing, and make-shift shelters. Useful, and needed, but they are only balms, not solutions,’_ Loki thought.  
   
“…with the right fertilizer, you should be able to grow it anywhere you want.” Stark was saying, and Thor was continuing to nod along.  
   
Loki leaned forward to politely indicate he had words. Eventually, Stark paused to draw breath, and Thor took notice.  
   
“Yes, Erland?”  
   
“I do not mean to sound presumptuous, but please do not forget about the ship, sire.” Loki longed for something to wash the bitter taste of the words from his mouth.  
   
Thor blinked, then realization lit his face. “Oh! Yes!”  
   
Loki leaned back and resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Thor launched into an explanation about the ruined ship. _‘As I suspected, he completely forgot…No wonder New Asgard is in such dire straits.’_  
   
Loki could not remember nodding off during the extended conversation, but awoke some time later to Thor’s hand on his shoulder. They had arrived. The three men extracted themselves from the vehicle and stretched before following Stark up the main walkway to the entrance. He waved the security officer away, leading them inside on his own authority. Thor continued to listen as Stark rambled on about things he thought of interest about the place, most of which was in terms neither god understood. As they walked the circular halls, Loki recalled all (y/n) had told and shown him about the building and her contributions. Power flows, communication lines, fail safes; he remembered it all. If the need arose, he could cripple this facility, and by listening to and watching Stark and his technicians, he discovered how it operated. The details might have gone over Thor’s head, but not Loki’s.  
   
“So, I’m being told everything is ready. Just do whatever it is you do to open your bridge, and make sure it’s pointed at that platform. After that, I can open it from this end,” Stark concluded.  
   
Thor’s eye was glazed, but he nodded once more. “Thank you again, my friend. We will be sure to put your aid to good use.”  
   
The three of them took the next couple of hours to sort through what was already on hand at the facility, packing it away in a crate that Thor and Loki could take with them this trip. Stark was visibly tired by the end of it, but forced himself to stay awake to the end. He escorted Thor and Loki to the bottom most level where the walkway was already extended to let them cross to the platform at the center of the teardrop-shaped room. Stark clapped Thor in a final embrace.  
   
“Don’t be a stranger, now. I still throw the best New Year’s parties at Stark Tower.”  
   
Thor chuckled. “I will endeavor to make time.”  
   
They parted, and Thor took up one end of the crate. Loki took up the other, and as they began across the walkway, Stark called to him.  
   
“Hey, Duke of Earl! Keep Point Break out of trouble!”  
   
Loki raised a hand in acknowledgement, biting his tongue. Thor snickered once they were set in the center of the platform. Thor raised a hand to indicate they were ready. Beneath them, a great whirring began.  
   
“Duke of Earl, now, is it?” Thor mused quietly.  
   
Loki sneered. “Do not even start…”  
   
“You’re right, Reindeer Games sound better.”  
   
“It’s as though you are desperate to give me a reason to stab you.”  
   
Thor chuckled. When he was given the signal from Stark’s technicians, he called to Tyr. The response was delayed, but soon Loki’s world was engulfed in the familiar rainbows of the Bifrost. He did not look down, did not look back. He stumbled slightly when his feet found the receiving platform of the Observatory, out of practice, and immediately dropped his guise. He took a moment to straighten the lapels of his coat as he strode to follow Thor, the crate still between them. Loki did not recognize the man that stood at the pedestal, drawing the sword from its stand, but it was easy to guess.  
   
“Welcome home,” the man said, addressing Thor, who paused.  
   
“Thank you. Tyr, you are familiar with Loki. Brother, this is Tyr.”  
   
Each scrutinized the other for a moment.  
   
‘ _Similar enough to Heimdall to be mistaken at first glance, but the eyes are notably different; and he is not quite as tall.’_ Loki nodded. “A pleasure.”  
   
“Well met, your highness, it is good to see you returned. If I may be of service, you have but to ask,” Tyr bowed.  
   
Loki’s brow twitched at being referred to as “highness”, but he supposed Thor’s stance on their mutual ranking had not been made known. He did not wish to chance the likelihood of its establishment, so said nothing. He fell into step alongside Thor, boots sounding on the Bifrost as the crossed. It was much shorter than Loki remembered, and only moments later they were descending a rocky slope into the hamlet below. It seemed little better than a war camp from Loki’s perspective, but there was the unmistakable golden under-glow that confirmed he had returned. This was New Asgard. Their path took them down the center pathway, both Loki and Thor striding tall and proud. Loki’s ears, however, could not ignore the murmurs as he passed.  
   
“Is that Prince Loki? I thought he was dead?”  
   
“The nerve…”  
   
“It was only a matter of time.”  
   
“Can’t believe his majesty brought him back here.”  
   
“We’ve enough trouble as is!”  
   
“Such a relief.”  
   
“Is he going to help?”  
   
“We’re going to be alright!”  
   
“Can we trust him?”  
   
The path ended at the ramp and open door of the crashed ship from Sakaar. Once they were inside, Loki’s expression fell just so. He had known what to expect, but the way Thor spoke allowed him to hope foolishly for a happier welcome. He would not make that mistake again. They set the crate against a wall Thor indicated, and Thor took his shoulder reassuringly.  
   
“Do not mind their words, brother. They will come around.”  
   
“Will they…?” Loki gave him a doubtful look.  
   
Thor’s confidence faltered for a moment. Then, he grinned broadly and clapped Loki on the back. “Either way. You’re home now, and that’s all that matters.”


End file.
